• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

Repressed memories shown in Hyperspace?

Migrated topic.
M

ManifesT

Rising Star
I really don't know what to make of this...

I just had my fourth trip to Hyperspace and besides the first time I tried it (was very excited) I have been extremely nervous before take off and could never figure out why. Every trip has been beautiful and always made me feel great but I was always scared and sometimes would completely put it off for the night and try again the next. I thought it was maybe because I have had no other experience with psychedelics before the spice. But tonight I was able to pull something out of the peak of the trip that I remembered experiencing every previous trip but seemed to always forget... I was being shown very brief memories of myself from my childhood where I was in an unfortunate situation, not anything extreme like seeing someone dying or childhood beatings but things like being laughed at for something I did, or saying something stupid and everyone looks at me weird (I have a weird sense of humour only my closest friends seem to share). Things like that. But it was at a very young age and I think it somehow effected the way I grew up, I seemed to get progressively 'quieter' as I aged to the point where I was only comfortable being myself around people I was very close to... And I seem to have repressed the events that caused it. Even now as I type this I can't remember the details of what I was being shown since it was such a brief part of the peak but I now remember it occurring every previous visit to Hyperspace and just never remembered it. This has affected me quite a bit, a lot of things about myself seem to make a lot more sense and I'm no longer intimidated by this wonderful substance, infact I feel I need to go back soon...

I felt I needed to type this up for myself but decided to share it with the rest of you, since reading a lot of your posts has given me guidance to have this experience. Should I try next time with a higher dose? This one was only 30mg, as was my last and my first two were around 40-45 but I didn't have a scale then so I don't know for sure.
 
I find that DMT can often be a very healing experience, and I'm so glad to hear that you're willing to further explore it's depths. How do you take your DMT? By smoking it? I find that on my trips, there's a feeling of a presense (not always an entity), that is utterly fascinated by my memories. Part of me will think "no, no... I want to explore strange new worlds!" but it seems to want to explore me just as throughly...
 
ManifesT said:
But tonight I was able to pull something out of the peak of the trip that I remembered experiencing every previous trip but seemed to always forget... I was being shown very brief memories of myself from my childhood where I was in an unfortunate situation, not anything extreme like seeing someone dying or childhood beatings but things like being laughed at for something I did, or saying something stupid and everyone looks at me weird (I have a weird sense of humour only my closest friends seem to share). Things like that. But it was at a very young age and I think it somehow effected the way I grew up, I seemed to get progressively 'quieter' as I aged to the point where I was only comfortable being myself around people I was very close to... And I seem to have repressed the events that caused it. Even now as I type this I can't remember the details of what I was being shown since it was such a brief part of the peak but I now remember it occurring every previous visit to Hyperspace and just never remembered it.
Click to expand...

Recalling repressed memories for psychotherapy purposes was a classical use for LSD back in the 1950's before the drug was made illegal. DMT is quite a bit different from LSD, but in lighter doses such as the one you describe there is some similarity to psilocybin (magic mushrooms) which was also sometimes used to aid psychotherapy. This is especially true after a few minutes when the most intense effects of DMT have passed.

Anyway, recalling repressed memories is generally a good thing, even though it can be painful in the short term. Just recognize that this a normal reaction and, if you feel it necessary, take whatever time is necessary to integrate the experience before trying DMT again. Meanwhile maybe try to find out more about the repressed memories from others who may have information (your parents, siblings, etc.). You don't have to make a big deal of it. I remember when I was a teen ager getting very curious about certain memories I had from childhood and trying to find out more about what had happened. This was without using any drugs. I remember going back and looking at pictures and reading old entries my mom had made in a "baby book" she kept. Then I would casually bring up things I remembered based on these and get my parent's input.

elphologist
 
Be careful where you're going with this. I like to think our mind represses memories for a reason. You'll find a piece of you that you've been missing for years, but in my experience, nothing is ever just good. You may find and see the most undesirable things in the depths of your mind, and once they're seen, they can't be unseen. Tread lightly my friend, tread lightly. This is my warning to you, heed it, and proceed with caution if you must continue at all.
 
Lately when I take harmalas with either bufotenine or spice when laying there really getting deep into it I start remember dreams that I have had that I had not remembered until they surfaced durring my trips...seems to open up some sort of gateway to memories of things that happen at a less lucid level.
 
TrigZu said:
Be careful where you're going with this. I like to think our mind represses memories for a reason. You'll find a piece of you that you've been missing for years, but in my experience, nothing is ever just good. You may find and see the most undesirable things in the depths of your mind, and once they're seen, they can't be unseen. Tread lightly my friend, tread lightly. This is my warning to you, heed it, and proceed with caution if you must continue at all.
Click to expand...

Like anything, learning about your true self can be painful before it gets better. This is the real learning. I think we can suppress painful and traumatic memories ourselves unconsciously or by avoidance, and so when they appear during the trip because you haven't dealt with your own ignored extra baggage your carrying around. At least in my experience..ManifesT i read your post and I've had things happen just like this, and going in head first (not overdoing it tho..god to much lsdforme=insanity) has always led to me figuring them out better and learning. I'm very weird humor wise amongst other reasons but i used to try and, just you know, sort of "conform" or act out the expected behavior and humor expected by the social group or environment I was in, until I learned being yourself and open to everyone is way to fun even if they don't get it and think your just crazy
 
Back
Top Bottom