Scariest trip I've had, terrified to smoke more

[°~A*Perfect*Place*2B~°]

I just started doing dmt about 2 months ago, i have been tripping on shrooms for years and i absolutely love it !

Lets start by saying i am terrified to die, like so scared to die sometimes i wish i was never born because i wouldn't have to die if i was never born ..its gotten to a point where i think i should see a therapist or something to help me accept the death stage of life

tonight i got a cart from someone other than my usual hook, this new hook makes it himself.
i only took 2 hits and immediately everything was completely different from any of the other trips ive had using dmt, slowly the walls of my bedroom were disappearing and being replaced by what i can only describe as white and brown squares and rectangles, shifting and morphing into each other infinitely, then i remember taking 1 more hit from my pen, and suddenly the bed i was laying on was gone, i was holding my vape pen and it disappeared along with my hand right before my eyes, then suddenly my body started disappearing. i was completely freaked out since this was something i have never ever experienced on dmt. i freaked out and jumped up off my bed and i was in this empty silent place where the squares surrounding me just kept shifting into each other.

i remember standing in front of my bed and it was gone everything was gone, the floor, my furniture, walls my body ...i literally thought i had just died from the dmt pen and i threw the pen across my room screaming "im dead" " i just died" and all i can remember was the silence around me, i was terrified knowing that i was dead and thinking there is nothing i can do about it, i have no choice and there is no going back..it was terrifying..All i could think about was my 7 year old son and how he was going to wake up in the morning and id be gone, and hed have to live without me for the rest of his life and thought about the guy I've bren seeing that I've fallen quite hard for over the past few weeks and how I'd never see his pretty smile again or laugh with him again.

Since i thought i was dead i was screaming pretty loud, freaking out that it was over forever ...

then i heard my dad asking my son why he was screaming, then he came in my room and asked me what i was screaming for and if i was ok..i couldn't believe it, i didn't know if it was real or part of my death dream since he was walking down the hallway of the nothingness surrounded by shape-shifting squaresand rectangles...i kind of snapped out of it and was just looking around the house at my don and my dad trying to figure out of it was real or if i was dead...I couldn't even speak when he asked what was wrong with me because i was terrified and amazingly relieved that i was still alive at the same time.

i literally said to myself "holy shit that was fuckin crazy" at least 15 times afterwards..
I'm still not positive if im alive and this is real or if my homelife just became my eternal bliss.

I do remember after my 1st hit, i had the sensation of heat at the base of the back of my head, which i have never felt before on dmt .

Someone said this was sn ego death, but i still had self awareness, knew who i was and where i was before the trip started , thought about my son and my new man, doesn't sound like an ego death to me from what i read online afterwards.

Had anyone ever experienced anything close to this? and if so, what tf was it, why did it happen? and will it happen again if i smoke from this same cart again ? im terrified to smoke more but i wsnt to trip on deemz so bsd

 

[Exitwound]

> tonight i got a cart ...
I suggest omitting self-incriminating details in this and further posting, especially since it's against The Attitude (rules of this forum).

> Had anyone ever experienced anything close to this?
Many people actually, if you search Search results for query: death trip
you will find many similar reports here I think.

> and if so, what tf was it, why did it happen?
Because DMT is a harsh mistress, it can bring eternal bliss and it can also make you question basic life decisions.

> and will it happen again if i smoke from this same cart again ? im terrified to smoke more but i wsnt to trip on deemz so bsd
Nobody can tell 100%.
Some would advise to push the issue, to get healing. Others would advise to abstain and integrate the lesson.

I'm from the second camp, you need to come to terms with your fears first, at least accept them, before jorneying again.
Otherwise DMT can do a trick called in my book "you think that was dark and twisted? here you go, whaddya think this time boy???"

 

[_Trip_]

I'm still not positive if im alive and this is real or if my homelife just became my eternal bliss.

Maybe lay off illicit substances for a while, ^this is a big red flag, along with your other anxieties.

 

[EmeraldAtomiser]

> tonight i got a cart ...
I suggest omitting self-incriminating details in this and further posting, especially since it's against The Attitude (rules of this forum).

He's not talking specifically about sourcing, and is not discussing purchasing or the like, so I don't see that he is doing anything against the attitude rules. We are literally all talking about taking illegal substances on here, whether we extract or purchase them.
Seems like many people on here are just waiting for anyone to even remotely mention purchasing, so they can jump in and remind them of the attitude page, even when it is not applicable.
I find it really patronising and off putting. If someone is actually breaking the rules, discussing purchasing or whatever, then fair enough, but if not, can we try treating eachother like adults.

 

[🌺🔥🫧]

I heard this yesterday for whatever reason, so.. haha maybe you might like to take a listen. She is a very experienced shaman and death doula 7.5 Befriending Death: Embrace The Inevitable Transition With Death Doula Kat Courtney

Lets start by saying i am terrified to die, like so scared to die sometimes i wish i was never born because i wouldn't have to die if i was never born

It sounds like you had a really bad experience last time you died. I suggest you find a person you trust and ask them if you can just talk with them about this fear of yours, on a nice sunny day outside. You could trip out during this conversation, so it might be good to let the person know that you have strong feelings, and that you feel comfortable with the aforementioned, lovely environment.

Seems like death has caught your attention

Best wishes luv

 

[°~A*Perfect*Place*2B~°]

Not exactly the type of answers i was looking for, i was wondering of anyone has experienced a trip similar to this

 

[hugfortysix]

He's not talking specifically about sourcing, and is not discussing purchasing or the like, so I don't see that he is doing anything against the attitude rules

I find it really patronising and off putting.

Here's more of an explanation to maybe help put your mind at rest. ...

Buying and supplying is against the rules because it puts the admins at risk. Yes we are all discussing illegal substances which, as we all know, we can get in trouble for. But supply to others is a whole different ball game. Whether money is involved in the transaction or not.... Supply is supply... OP was talking about a hook up and to my mind that is 100 per cent talking about sourcing and therefore against the rules. One of the rules that i ,and many other members, take seriously because it protects the people that put a lot of time and money into keeping this place running. Therefore please do not be put off or feel patronised. ....And this little tit bit is coming from someone...me...that got a bollocking from a mod on this forum 12 or so years ago for discussing sourcing....

 

[Transform]

Not exactly the type of answers i was looking for, i was wondering of anyone has experienced a trip similar to this

Yes, they have. Not me, but it's certainly been reported in various iterations, permutations and combinations multiple times here on the forum over the years.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Had anyone ever experienced anything close to this?

I'll chime in. I was pretty convinced I was dead on my third trip, and a part of me died on the fourth, and then I died, became some kind of "Godhead" and was reborn the first time I did changa.

Difference between us however, is that I let it happen when I felt I was dying. I also had my eyes closed (always close your eyes until you gain more experience, trust me)... well, until one point in that third journey where I tried to open them, and I wasn't sure if I did or not. I remember saying goodbye with my soul to my loved-ones and the world. Granted, I don't have kids, so I can only imagine your situation, but going with death just seems like the best way; why fight the inevitable when the inevitable seems to be right upon you?

Reminds me of a quote in the game Race the Sun; Death: Inevitable, yet unexpected.

So there may be some deeper inner work you may need to do in order to come to terms with idea of death and the ultimate mystery that lies thereafter. Because unfortunately, if you're not specific with your dosing, there are odds that this can happen again.

what tf was it, why did it happen

It seems the only way we can really say anything meaningfully about it is to keep it relegated to the phenomenology; it was a death experience. As to why did it happen, does there need to be a reason? It's almost like "congrats, now the honeymoon phase is over, let's get real." My experience with this was on my fifth journey...

By the way, I'm a regular user, and it terrifies me. Some of that is reverence, other parts are knowing how real it can get, and that you don't know what you're gonna get. You want training in resilience and will-power, here's a great way of getting it.

will it happen again if i smoke from this same cart again ? im terrified to smoke more but i wsnt to trip on deemz so bsd

No one is a fortune teller, but I will say that you're likely to take yourself too far again if you go about it in the same manner a second time. Take it easy. To be frank, I think you need to work on integrating this experience. Please feel free to PM if you need assistance with that kind of activity. It's something that can take a long long time, and unfortunately this may be one of those times. You got rocked, plain and simple.

But you can also kind of see that it's not the kind of thing that one lackadaisically partakes in. Again, it gets real.

Someone said this was sn ego death, but i still had self awareness, knew who i was and where i was before the trip started , thought about my son and my new man, doesn't sound like an ego death to me from what i read online afterwards.

It may not have been, but that phenomenon can show up in multiple ways in my experience. Next time, with something like DMT or mushrooms, when you're feeling this fraught, do your best to surrender. It will paradoxically save you.

WRT the check on mentioning that they got a cart from someone, is an acquisition, and the attitude page and section relevant specifically uses the word "acquiring" in specifying what is not allowed to be discussed on the forum.

One love

 

[NeitherHere]

I'd like to preface my response by saying I have personally been there. While staying with a mormon family for a while I decided to take 5 grams of cubensis and hide in my room. What followed was 8 hours of "i'm dead, im dying, we all died, we're all dying, i don't want to die, i'm not ready to die" crying in the fetal position the entire time.

I was young, I was dumb, and I broke sooo many rules about tripping namely taking such a large dose totally alone in an unwelcoming environment.

So, while I know it might upset some nexians and sound hypocritical i'd like to make some points and reiterate that I'm not bringing these points to be harsh but to get OP to think about this as a learning experience.


Growing up we are told never to take candy from strangers,did we test this drug before we put it in our body? What if it wasn't what we were told and it was actually something deadly? What if that 5 grams I took wasn't cubensis but actually "deathcaps". That is probably the most terrifying possibility in sourcing drugs..

Did anyone know we were taking a strong psychedelic? How would they react if they found out on their own? What if the people around us like that mormon family in my instance or your parent in yours had us committed to a psych ward or called emergency services because we were seemingly wailing in unexplainable horror and terror or worse actually saw the drugs and seeked to separate us from our children (which, lets be honest, is not unreasonable at least in that very moment when we are not fit to be watching or responsible for children) I don't say this to say you're unfit or irresponsible but think about the ramifications an outburst like the one we've had could have on our future. Some might say the consequences are incomprehensible for a parent.

What if you were in a municipality that harshly punishes the substance you're actively freaking out on and someone calls a welfare check only for you to get hit with a felony for possessing said substance? In my instance it could have meant a decent amount if time in jail or even prison depending on the totality of circumstances.

And the last thing to think about is how long is it going to take to recover from this trip? It took me 5+ years before I was ready to even consider tripping again and I was really scared and depressed that entire 5 years.

Usually you can break one rule, but if you break multiple you're bound for a terrible situation to happen. That's why I really don't even bother to trip in public or less than secure places, there's just way too many variables to account for and it's way to easy to have a nightmare situation or get hurt.

If things are "disappearing" and you're disoriented then you can trip, fall, hit your head, drop something heavy on yourself, fall out a window, the list goes on and on.

I almost exclusively solo trip but; i know exactly where my supply comes from, I respect set and setting by making sure everything is optimal to my safety and comfort, someone usually knows or is nearby to help if I struggle, and they know my threshold for "emergency" i.e. if this then that. If i'm panicking just try and calm me with ____ . if i'm not breathing call an ambulance etc. so even in solo tripping I still usually have a trip sitter within the property i'm tripping on incase something crazy happens.


Your fears are totally valid. I don't consider this experience "ego death" because at the end of the day the ego is still very much FIGHTING to stay alive. I've experienced true ego death one time one second I was here and the next second i found myself lost in a dsrk empty void withiut a body, sense of time, sense of life or death. I was just a pure ball of light and there was a large diety staring at me in admiration. After some time my body and consensus reality returned. There was no struggle or panic, it was instantaneous. But for s few minutes my understanding of self and consensus reality totally ceased to exist in any manner what so ever.

This experience you've had is essentially ego NDE and it can be incredibly harmful psychologically because at the end of the day it induces ptsd. Ptsd is caused essentially by the intense fear of lack of control namely in ones very life or understanding of reality. That begging, pleading, negotiating with death "I don't want to die" and ruminating on "i'm dead, i'm dying, i'm going to die" caused me YEARS of serious mental health damage and cost tens of thousands of intergalactic credits worth of mental health care to get me somewhere that I felt safe to be happy and trip again. To put s conservative estimate, it cost almost 300,000 intergalactic credits to get me "back to normal" and almost a decade total before i was actually "okay' including 10 weeks of lock down hospitalizations. All because of one single bad experience where I bit off more than I could chew in a less than optimal environment totally left to my own devices without any help.

So, if you wake up and feel like you're still struggling please feel free to reach out. Lets talk and see if we can't soften the blow a bit. Anxiety is the psycho physiological response to an unmet need and can manifest from the overwhelming fear, lack of understanding, and in this case the fear of never seeing resolution and closer in ones cherished experiences.

Spend time with your child, love that guy you've been talking with, spend time with your parent. Make the most of the moments you feared so much that you would lose because we don't get to live forever.

My inbox is open if you need to chat and
Below is a list of international suicide prevention hotlines, these are also general crisis lines and can be used in moments of serious distress where suicide is not exactly an intention or consideration, most are 24/7/365 in availability

Best of luck friend

• United States National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.
• Scotland, England, Wales, and Northern Ireland Lifeline: 116 123

• Austria: 017 133 374
• Belgium: 0800 32 123
• Denmark: 70 201 201
• Finland: 010 195 202
• France: 01 40 44 46 45
• Cyprus: 8000 7773
• Germany: 0800 111 0 111 / 0800 111 0 222
• Greece: 1018
• Hungary: 116 123
• Ireland (North and South ): 116 123
• Netherlands: 0900 0113
• >Italy: 800 86 00 22
• Norway: 116 123
• Poland: 89 19288
• Portugal: 225 50 60 70
• Spain: 717 003 717
• Sweden: 116 111
• Switzerland: 143
• United Kingdom: 116 123

 

[Transform]

Yes, they have. Not me, but it's certainly been reported in various iterations, permutations and combinations multiple times here on the forum over the years.

Fwiw, I did freak out completely the first time I huffed diethyl ether. The intense dejà vu and echo effects convinced me that I'd broken the universe and everything was about to end. The ensuing top-of-the-lungs scream attracted a little unwanted attention - but ether's not illegal. The major risk is of explosions and fire.

The main lesson is, remember you ingested a substance and remain calm. On that note, during a later phase of plant medicine experimentation I once (and only once) ingested slightly too large a dose of columbine root (don't ask me why) and experienced strong myocardiac stimulation. If I had freaked out then it would have led to myocardiac spasm and fibrillation. Everything I'd learnt about meditation up to that point was (as you can probably infer) my saviour. As I calmed every bodily system down to the maximum extent, it would come to a peak where I was bathed in golden light, coupled with a deep sense of joy and peace. And my heart would go "WHUUUMPbip" as though it was trying to escape from my chest by imploding into an inward dimension. I can't help but feel that the golden light aspect was probably something to do with the welsh poppy that (possibly fortuitously) was the other major component of the potion. So yeah, we can all do some spectacularly daft things on occasion, perhaps, but ideally we manage to learn something from them.

 

[CosmicRiver]

@°~A*Perfect*Place*2B~° you can see this as an opportunity to finally confront your fear of death. This scary experience could be the thing that makes you walk this path and free yourself from fear. These paths often start from bad experiences like yours. Just remember that there are as many (if not more) positive and even blissful ego death experiences. I don't think you were shown actual death but just your fear of it and your fear of losing the people you love.

 

[NeitherHere]

I think Vovin said it best and I wish this post were mandatory reading before having access to the teks. Regardless it wouldn't have stopped this event because the substance was sourced but read it anyways before going forward with any more usage.

Why you should NOT take DMT

Not many will make a genuine effort to convince you that this might not be for you. Here we in the nexus realize the ramifications of this path. You cannot simply forget what will prove to be one of the most powerful experiences you will ever have in your life. If DMT accomplishes nothing else...

forum.dmt-nexus.me

I hope vovin is well where ever he is in life these days.

 

[Virtuten]

I just started doing dmt about 2 months ago, i have been tripping on shrooms for years and i absolutely love it !

Lets start by saying i am terrified to die, like so scared to die sometimes i wish i was never born because i wouldn't have to die if i was never born ..its gotten to a point where i think i should see a therapist or something to help me accept the death stage of life

tonight i got a cart from someone other than my usual hook, this new hook makes it himself.
i only took 2 hits and immediately everything was completely different from any of the other trips ive had using dmt, slowly the walls of my bedroom were disappearing and being replaced by what i can only describe as white and brown squares and rectangles, shifting and morphing into each other infinitely, then i remember taking 1 more hit from my pen, and suddenly the bed i was laying on was gone, i was holding my vape pen and it disappeared along with my hand right before my eyes, then suddenly my body started disappearing. i was completely freaked out since this was something i have never ever experienced on dmt. i freaked out and jumped up off my bed and i was in this empty silent place where the squares surrounding me just kept shifting into each other.

i remember standing in front of my bed and it was gone everything was gone, the floor, my furniture, walls my body ...i literally thought i had just died from the dmt pen and i threw the pen across my room screaming "im dead" " i just died" and all i can remember was the silence around me, i was terrified knowing that i was dead and thinking there is nothing i can do about it, i have no choice and there is no going back..it was terrifying..All i could think about was my 7 year old son and how he was going to wake up in the morning and id be gone, and hed have to live without me for the rest of his life and thought about the guy I've bren seeing that I've fallen quite hard for over the past few weeks and how I'd never see his pretty smile again or laugh with him again.

Since i thought i was dead i was screaming pretty loud, freaking out that it was over forever ...

then i heard my dad asking my son why he was screaming, then he came in my room and asked me what i was screaming for and if i was ok..i couldn't believe it, i didn't know if it was real or part of my death dream since he was walking down the hallway of the nothingness surrounded by shape-shifting squaresand rectangles...i kind of snapped out of it and was just looking around the house at my don and my dad trying to figure out of it was real or if i was dead...I couldn't even speak when he asked what was wrong with me because i was terrified and amazingly relieved that i was still alive at the same time.

i literally said to myself "holy shit that was fuckin crazy" at least 15 times afterwards..
I'm still not positive if im alive and this is real or if my homelife just became my eternal bliss.

I do remember after my 1st hit, i had the sensation of heat at the base of the back of my head, which i have never felt before on dmt .

Someone said this was sn ego death, but i still had self awareness, knew who i was and where i was before the trip started , thought about my son and my new man, doesn't sound like an ego death to me from what i read online afterwards.

Had anyone ever experienced anything close to this? and if so, what tf was it, why did it happen? and will it happen again if i smoke from this same cart again ? im terrified to smoke more but i wsnt to trip on deemz so bsd

I’ve had an experience of actually dying, time has run out, this was my time to go and say goodbye. I can say I have never been afraid to die and I don’t remotely consider my experience a bad trip just the opposite, although let’s make it clear I don’t want to die far from it and during the experience i was terrified at first not because I was about to die rather because of how I’ve lived, hardest thing I’ve had to do. Also because during the experience it was not like any other breakthrough where if it gets super intense or you feel like you’ve gone to far or whatever you always know you will always come back and it’s the dmt just telax and embrace the experience you are always really aware.
This time that was not a thought I could access in my mind. It simply wasn’t there.

I mostly go in solo but this time I was doing it with my brother, I load him up and go in right after him. Keep in mind I’m very seasoned psychonaut with countless profound breakthrough experiences under my belt

The experience started with me emerging into this dimension where this big blue entity was just there, it filled up the whole dimension huge vibrant blue entity that was just a living ball of energy and in the middle of it was just this vertical bowtie or the symbol of 8 in a way and I was just mesmerized by the beauty of it and gazing at it for a minute or 2. It felt like the mother of energy. I remember also thinking like sheesh I hope my brother is having a bigger experience because that was just all I was seeing for 1-2minutes+, And I remember then thinking like is this going to be the whole experience.
(I regret not focusing on trying to communicate rather then being stuck in my own arrogant head filled with disappointment)

Anyway before I know it I’m inside this long big chest that is closing at stable rate of speed vertically and inside the chest in the middle of it was this some kind of writing text I couldn’t understand on a thin line of paper and 3 vertically stacked symbols of drops and it was blood in the drops draining out really slowly one by one. And I’m going through this ritual internally, My breathing had to be a specific way, all my emotions opened up at one time it was like I was going to start crying heavy then before it started it stopped I just had this one echo and 1 tear run down my face and it was part of the ritual it was like my emotions got taken over and twisted at the same time I felt in complete control. through the whole thing I had the voice of a friend in my ear comforting me ( this is an old friend I trust dearly and has shown that I can trust with all my heart) he’s comforting me telling me that I will become my own god this is not the end of my conscious being and at some point everyone’s time will be over and i will reunite with my family just not on earth as a living breathing human being, and told me I was going home.(made me think of my father that died when I was 17yrs old.)
At the same time this is all going on it was clear to me that I’m dying, my time has run out. I had to say goodbye to this earth, everyone I love and wanted to think about which were my 3 young kids and my gf and mother and 3 brothers mainly along with a lot of important ppl to me I thought about in my life. I could go through memories of they’re faces all at the same time and I had to accept that I would never be able to do or say anything on this earth again and accept how I’ve spent my time, how I’ve communicated to my loved ones. How I’ve lived my life so far and all the things I didn’t do or say to my loved ones. that was what I had to accept.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Nothing comes close to it. No words can bare the weight of what i was feeling.
My regrets were painful.

Everything of what I’ve described through the whole experience is all happening at the same time kinda and at fast rate.

Now the chest has come close to the end and I have accepted these were my final moments and this is just the way of life and our consciousness lives on although our time in this body is over. I can see myself in my kids. I can see my father in me. We leave a part of our genetic code still on earth. Life goes on as an endless cycle this is not the first time I’m here and won’t be the last. Our soul is immortal, Consciousness is one.

I’m still going through this emotional, controlled breathing ritual through the whole process with my friends voice comforting me still telling me to trust.

now I can see the bottom of the chest and at the bottom I can see this thing that I can only describe as an embryo inside a womb but was about the size of an ear. and it’s getting whiter and whiter closer as I get to it, kinda like life is going out of it then I take my last deep breath as the chest closes and I’m ready. I’ve completely accepted death.
I keep holding my breath waiting and everything just pitch black and I’m just waiting..waiting..

then all of a sudden the chest started opening up again and I could breathe again and I immediately realise it was all just the dmt I didn’t have to die. it was all just a test.
I felt more joy more alive than I have ever been.
I was so euphoric and happy to be alive it’s hard to describe. It was all just the fucking dmt and during the experience I couldn’t access the thought and fact I just smoked dmt.

At this point I could open my eyes but I still couldn’t move my body it was locked but I knew it would be released(kinda like sleep paralysis, mind awake body asleep)
and I was just waiting for it and then I was released and same fraction of a second I jump out of my chair screaming “I am god” and hit both my fists to the ground like a gorilla then I jump on top of my brother screaming do you know what I just fucking experienced, wtf did you just experience? And his response was “i think i need to smoke more” lol anyways

The one thing life can promise you is death.
be afraid of how you really live your life and spend your time.
Be afraid of not making the most of your time and behave and say everything you wanted to say to those you love in life. Make the most of what you have and be grateful.

I take this experience as a powerful reminder to live intentionally, to love fully, no regrets.
face death as an inevitable teacher

when you go for a breakthrough you have to have a super strong mindset. Be brave with integrity. No fear.

And fuck the carts just do crystals

Hope this helps you in anyway

This is kinda shortened version of my experience i will post it in full soon just wanted to respond to your post.

One love

 

[Tripolation]

I have had a few experiences like the one you describe, although my reaction was not like yours. I had the feeling doing DMT was practicing death the first time I had an experience like you described. It can be very hard to step-back from your knee jerk reactions when something very intense happens during a trip. Some experiences can touch on our fears, anxieties and other negativities we have inside of us. I will quote something from The gospel of Thomas, not for any religious reason whatsoever but more because it rings true for me for experience just like this.

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you. ~Gospel of Thomas, verse 70.

What that means to me is that if you have any fears and they are not addressed prior to the experience those fears can destroy you. Psychedelics can bring about heavenly wonderful feelings but they can also bring about hellscapes and nightmarish scenes. You just never know what kind of experience you may get. It is good to keep this in mind before you try any psychedelic, especially DMT.

Acceptance is important if you run into this again. Employ psychedelic tools. Find some way to ground yourself, a key word or phrase like a mantra, perhaps music or a trip sitter can help. Hold onto something special that reminds you of this world. In my case, I like to have a trip blanket. May sound silly but it helps me when I get scared, just like a little kid would clutch a blanket, no shame to admit this. It is ok to be scared. Emotions are part of us. You are bringing all your emotions in with you so it helps to identify your triggers. It helps to know what calms you and self-soothe. If something scary is happening and you can see the fear rising, identify it and accept it and let go. If it is all too much perhaps these substances are not quite your cup of tea and place them down.

When you are in the heat the of the experience it can be difficult to think rationally that is why preparation is extremely important. I have a little ceremony for myself prior. I light incense and clean my space, outside and in. I call upon all helpful spirits to be all around me and all about me and ask for protection. I give gratitude for things in my life prior to going in and try and go into the experience feeling positive and calm. Now, I don't exactly believe in spirits and all that, for me it preparing my brain for the experience. A self mind spell I guess. It helps me to do these things and this is merely a suggestion, even if it sounds silly. I do what works for me. Find what works for you. I highly recommend some sort of ceremony before lift off.

To sum up, prepare, give gratitude, acceptance and finally let go and trust that the experience will flow and will end with some time. You know that every time you go to sleep it is like dying in some ways. Do you struggle to go to sleep because you fear you will never wake again? Going to sleep forever might sound scary but you will not be there to have any fears when death does come. Practice dying. Accept it. Let go. Sleep soundly. Give gratitude for your life every night when you are going to sleep and trust that you will wake up in the morning.

Gosh.. I hope that is of some help. I am a bit of an oddball, maybe even a little eccentric or weird so...

Gnothi Seauton

 

[EmeraldAtomiser]

Fwiw, I did freak out completely the first time I huffed diethyl ether. The intense dejà vu and echo effects convinced me that I'd broken the universe and everything was about to end. The ensuing top-of-the-lungs scream attracted a little unwanted attention - but ether's not illegal. The major risk is of explosions and fire.

"There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge." Hunter S. Thompson - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I've always fancied trying it after reading that