Scary Salvia like trip

[theconverted]

I just wanted to get this off my chest before i forget it. it has been about 10 minutes since i came down. I have tried DMT a few times now and have never broken through....until today. At least i think it was a breakthrough.

It was not a pleasant experience. I was at home alone, lying on my bed, curtains drawn, nice and quiet. loaded up 30mg much of which i am sure is still in the steel wool.

I managed two big deep inhalations and it hit me. Initially the usual blurring and trails i get when i haven't broken through. followed by nice colourful fractal patterns overlaying everything and the odd sense of sonic waves echoing inside my head at a high speed with a strange body buzz. I was fine until the entities arrived that i had seen in a previous salvia trip. Although i couldn't specifically make out their shapes this time i know they were there. the colour patterns were identical and though this time they weren't speaking directly to me i could most definitely sense a mocking laughter. I completely lost touch with reality at this point and not focus my mind on anything to ground myself.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Closed eye visuals were completely different. I could see colourful patterns which seemed to move around me in swirls. These seemed to have kittens of some sort playing around in them and they felt like they were pawing at my eye lids. I could feel the sensation of warmth as they patted my face but i was still quite scared at this point and unable to relax and let go.

I opened my eyes again and the salvia entities were there again. I focused on a knot in the wood on my wardrobe and this seemed to ground me somewhat and i began to feel better. I was just starting to enjoy it when i realised that i was being absorbed by the wardrobe and starting to melt into it.

All the while the salvia entities were laughing at me. It seemed as though they were deliberately trying to freak me out.

Having read more trip reports than i can remember, this is not what i was expecting or hoping for.

It has left me shaken and immediately after the trip i felt incredibly emotional.

Is it because i did not take enough in and rather than completley breakthrough i was on the cusp, and allowed my mind to wander back to thoughts of my salvia trip that brought these guys back to me?

The odd thing is that I didn't feel like this after i met them the first time. Although i was confused etc then but i didn't get the sense of menace that i did this time.

Anyhow, longish post but i needed to share it.

Happy travels.

 

[Spiral Eye]

As far as what triggered it, it's hard to say. Taking more or less might not resolve the issue.

When I encounter something that is deeply uncomfortable in hyperspace, I remind myself not to push it away, this makes it worse. Trying to get away from something is almost impossible, in my experience. Distracting yourself serves as a temporary remediation, and doesn't allow for integration of the disturbing entity/experience.

If it happens again, let go of the defensiveness and let it flow through you... embrace whatever is happening and learn from it. Make friends with it, ask it why it is appearing to you, and what lesson it has for you.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
-Mythologist Joseph Campbell

 

[bemeda]

Interesting that you met your Salvia entities on a DMT trip. I don't think I've heard that one before.

Nonetheless, menacing mocking entities ARE commonly reported, and certainly a pain to deal with if it's the overarching mood of your trip. Here's my theory on them:

When we go into these realms we're quite vulnerable. We step into strange territory, wild and confusing and complex beyond imagining. ANY entity we perceive will most likely immediately be seen as a higher being that can read us totally, something that is "home" in this wild country. The mind reels - I think an easy way to react is to feel small, to feel wormlike in the presence of such complex beings - that they can even exist in such alien territory to us. Perhaps on the subconscious level we decide we're unworthy and as a result we perceive mockery from them, we regret showing up uninvited, we spiral down into a loathing visited upon us by uncompassionate THINGS.

As an aside, I had a good giggle at the kitten imagery. I'm just going to slip into a little Duke for a moment, please indulge. "The damned kittens tickled my eyelids with their delicate paws, all the while hideously ignorant of the cosmic horrors that danced beyond the periphery of their technicolor yarn balls. The larger kitten was hogging the best yarn, causing the runt let out a tiny mew of despair. There are no words to describe the terror I felt."

I've had hideously grotesque nightmares only to have a kind of comic mercy visited upon me by my dreaming subconscious - the terrible nasties become kid's toys or they become super-cartoonified to a comic degree, especially as the nasty energy rises in strength. It may just be a kind of ducking or dodging of whatever we deem unpleasant.

Spiral Eye has good advice - When you're dealing with it directly, right there in hyperspace, don't fight it. Let it play out. You can seek to discard it later in integration, but it's a recipe for bad times mid-trip. Accept that it might be uncomfortable, but the best way out isn't around or backwards or through a side-window. It's straight through, and you come out the other side instead of scratching against the wall.

Consider the entity's viewpoint: Perhaps they weren't menacing at all but perfectly helpful, except that something in yourself, at this particular moment, attached to "menace" and your fear drove you to scramble away. Perhaps the kittens were a message to not be afraid, the warmth and pawing at your eyes being a way of saying "It's okay bud, you know us - we're not bad guys!"

Either way, cheers and thanks for sharing.

 

[theconverted]

Thanks a lot to both of you. Next time I am in that situation I will try and just let go, although at the time it was very difficult to do that.

I must admit bemeda, your quote there on the kittens was spot on. Looking back on it now it has given me a good laugh as well. Other people get aliens, dwarves and all sorts of wonderful characters and I get....kittens. terrifying kittens.

In the light of today I feel much better and I am looking forward to a more positive next experience.

Thanks again.

 

[Spiral Eye]

Consider the entity's viewpoint: Perhaps they weren't menacing at all but perfectly helpful, except that something in yourself, at this particular moment, attached to "menace" and your fear drove you to scramble away.

I like the way you put this. What seems menacing to us might actually be a being from another universe's way of being polite and friendly. It's like cultural differences on this planet. A thumbs up to someone in the Western world means one thing, but in other countries it might mean "fuck you".