Scratching a 7 Year Itch - Hearing Church Bells

[Pandora]

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Surface calm, meditated had smoked fb harmalas
(physical condition) Set: Bit tired from bit day yesterday but clearheaded and positive with intentions in place - continue the work, accept, let go of things I cannot change.
Setting (location): Bed, with cats on bed, Shpongle playing
time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?) Early afternoon
recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication) cannabis and harmalas
last meal: (Time and type) english muffin

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (m / f) F
body weight: (in kg pls) 62 kg
known sensitivities: N/A
history of use: (experienced, novice, first timer - in general and for this specific substance/form) very experienced but coming back after 7+ year integration break

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): (list all taken substances) bowl of cannabis with light sprinkling of fb harmalas x 2, fb DMT vaped
Dose(s): (in the same order as Substances pls, use metric system i.e. g/ mg/ �g)unknown, unkown, 10 mgs
Method of administration: (dissolved in water, capsuls, insufflated, vaporized...)
smoked and vaped

EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00 (expand this if you used delayed administration for multiple substances or the same substance with multiple doses. Use indices.)
Duration: (x hours) 10 mins
First effects: Body load, anxiety, CEVs
Peak: (estimate a time range and note as e.g. T=2:00-4:00 for a range of 2 hours beginning 2 hours after administration) T = 4-5 mins Feeling much calmer, joy, smiling, but could tell hands were twisted into claws. CEVs developing in waves that come and go in intensity
Come down: 5 mins Feeling GREAT, calm, centered, at peace, CEVs dying back
Baseline: 10-20 mins

Intensity (overall): (use HRS-like scale i.e. 0-4: 0 = "Not at all;" 1 = "Slightly;" 2 = "Moderately;" 3 = "Quite a bit;" 4 = "Extremely.") 2.5
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4) 3
Implesantness: (0-4) 2
Visual Intensity: (0-4) 2
.
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: (0-4 ; what type of impleasantness ; duration) Nothing noticeable
Afterglow: (0-4 ; what type of positive effects ; duration) Very calm and centered feeling. No regrets but no desire to continue.


REPORT


It had been over 7 years since my last experience. I thought I was done with the spice. But awhile back I heard the church bells ringing so to speak. DMT really is my church. Before I became a user I was a four decades long dedicated lifelong atheist. I even went to meetings of skeptics and atheists. But then the spice knocked my metaphysical socks off and I never looked back.

Began with a short work day, very light breakfast, and smoking a few sprinkled fb harmalas on a bed of cannabis. Meditated a bit and set my intention.

Smoalked approx. 10 mgs in 3 hits. First hit was a misfire. Rusty technique. 2nd hit I think I got it all. Third was just finishing off whatever was in the screens.

Very strong medicine. Came on quickly. Very difficult to keep eyes open.

Listening to Shpongle I was immersed in synasethetic patterns that are difficult to describe. Moving, curvacious lines, changing colors and moving, intertwining, spinning around each other. These lines helped to create evolving spaces - they made the walls and ceiling of a living, changing hylozoic space.

The feelings were profound and the body load heavy. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to do this and was sure I didn’t want to do any more. I tried to let go, tried to surrender more and the walls and ceilings of the synaesthetic spaces became more filled in, less like line drawings. These spaces were changing, opening, closing, invaginating into clefts, etc. Tunnels and clefts were a theme here.

The palate was a bit on the dark side but lightened as things progressed.

I found myself thinking about things that I really shouldn’t have, reacent stressors, etc. I was worred the body load was going to get to me. Darned ego still didn’t want to fully let go.

Overall I found myself smiling and coming back to vitals that felt fantastic. Not sure how much things are actually getting jacked and how much is my anxiety. May need to look at The Spirit Molecule again.

Opened eyes to a very calm, centered and peaceful feeling. Put the GVG away. Not sure when I will do this again. It is a kind of church for me but one that is very difficult to attend.

Thank you so much for reading.

 

[Voidmatrix]

That was wonderful and resonates with me and some of my recent experience a lot.

I even went to meetings of skeptics and atheists. But then the spice knocked my metaphysical socks off and I never looked back.

Your comments about skepticism are actually a big reason I've been writing this preliminary treatise to reframe aspects of the idea, in a philosophic sense.

I found myself thinking about things that I really shouldn’t have, reacent stressors, etc. I was worred the body load was going to get to me. Darned ego still didn’t want to fully let go.

This in its entirety is very relevant for me. Sometimes the body load is it's own deterrent in getting into deeper spaces. Though overwhelming, it's certainly helpful in a somatic sense and I find that I still enter some interesting philosophic thought spaces.

It's it interesting how far we are able to get ourselves to go on such low dosage as time and experience spans on and broadens?

Thank you so much for sharing.

One love

 

[fink]

Ahh, the self predicting contradiction potential. It's like we know we are going to fly again sooner than the last break even though we tell ourselves we wont publicly.

On a base psychological level the only reason we voice an intent not to do something is because we are fighting the hidden urges before they even raise their eyes to look at us! I wish you strength in the coming months.

Love this report, thank you Pandora.

 

[ABe©eDarian]

Nothing wrong with a long break and certainly nothing wrong with returning when it calls you.

The fact that you made so much use of a mere 10 milligrams may say a lot about the personal visionary potency you have within.

 

[Pandora]

Thanks for the kind replies guys. I have fleshed out the form a bit more - that's the first time I used it.

Now that I've had some time to eat, sleep and think things over I am amazed at the sheer amount that I had FORGOTTEN.

Seven years is a long time, time enough to pretty much change out every cell in a body. When I came to spice before I was on a hunt for something and I didn't know what it was but I knew it was in response to what could be described as a mid life crisis. I found what I was looking for even though at the time I would have laughed and mocked you out of the room if you had told me what it was. Spirituality.

But, I have not only been integrating these past 7 years but really living in the muck. To summarize a boatload of drama, like so many of you, I have had to deal with an unending stream of deaths, illnesses, injuries, betrayals and general stressors during these years. Horrible and oppressive employment and other issues.

I am out on the other side now and I think that's part of why I was hearing the call again.

I feel I'm back to try to work on my need for acceptance and also to be honest, I do not know how much longer I will live and I wanted to see hyperspace again. I knew that to do that I would have to work my way back to it.

Yesterday I took the first real step.

I forgot how much DMT literally expands the mind. Expands it then kind of flays it. It's all right there in its' entirety, intensity and inescapable. But, truly, why would I want to escape? I am familiar here and know that great beauty and infinities are here. This was kind of my mental dilemma.

The body load was encouraging me to resist, to filter and even to open my eyes.

Yet, I was in state familiar textures and places I hadn't thought about for over 7 years. And every second that passed, I was feeling a lot better.

So, things started anxiety ridden but then settled down. The "problems" were both my sheer self awareness (body load) and how quickly my mind was wrenched wide open.

Very powerful medicine indeed.

Things to think about.

I still want to see hyperspace again, but must wait until I am more ready. I am thinking 15 to 20 mgs next time.

 

[Toshido]

It is a kind of church for me but one that is very difficult to attend.

This ^^^.

You have a great way with words and I could visualize what you were describing. I too get the same style of visuals so using 30mg in a sandwich method must mean I'm only managing to inhale 10mg worth of spice. I should really invest in a GVG if my eMesh build (still waiting on an adaptor) ends up not working out.

I took a 10 year break from psychedelics. Not because I was bored of them or anything, they just weren't calling to me anymore, but I have noticed that in the last year it has been speaking to me again.

I certainly would like to experiment with harmalas and changa as the short acting DMT experience leaves little time to absorb what may be happening to you, but I've also found that intermittent reflection can bolster nice results in terms of the meaning of a trip. Sometimes it doesn't hit me until later where I'll go "Ohhhhh that's what that was all about."

I'm glad that you had a positive experience, and it must have been nice to have the cats next to you.

 

[f1]

continue the work, accept, let go of things I cannot change.

Hi Pan the sometimes mighty mouse :thumb_up:

Continue work? is that on ones ego? or is that some sorta temple creating in Hyperspace i've heard a few talk about, and being able to revisit.

"(location): Bed, with cats on bed" so sweet

Can you suggest a Shpongle song, they are new to me

"last meal: english muffin" - classic :lol:

"back after 7+ year integration break" - thats great to hear, would love to hear if there's some techniques that aided you along the way, such as a tool Rosalind Watts uses of focusing on different trees each month on how their strengths etc can help us.

"Feeling much calmer, joy, smiling" - that's always good when your tripping!

"DMT really is my church", "spice knocked my metaphysical socks off" - 110% with you, what a suprize to be in almost plain sight the entire time

"I tried to let go, tried to surrender more" - back at your intention :thumb_up:

"The palate was a bit on the dark side but lightened as things progressed." - funny heaven turns out to be black, like most my trips are blacks with neons and objects like burning man art installs, etc. only once did I sit inside the silent central light 8)

"May need to look at The Spirit Molecule again." woot woot, whens the next SHE?!

"Put the GVG away." - Genie is a my fav, glass one is high level as one could drop it as breaking through etc or coming back and kicking etc, Kudos!

"It is a kind of church for me but one that is very difficult to attend." - have you tried combo of LSD during a sunny summer day, mushrooms throughout eve, then spice at night? I'm charging up all winter and spring for it :twisted:

Thanks for the share!

I came to the nexus for the trip reports 10 years ago

 

[Pandora]

f1,

To anyone else who reads these responses: In case you wonder why f1 calls me the mighty mouse here is why: I attended a festival once where a group of us all slept together after smoking shamanic herbs. We were to try to remember our dreams to identify our spirit animal. Of course I expected cats, cats big, cats small, some sort of kitty. But that night I had a profound dream about a mouse so ever since then I have known and accepted that the mouse is my spirit animal.

The work is ongoing for me. In over half a century of life there have been a huge number of traumata and stressors. So, the work is personal and ongoing. Manage anger. Embrace acceptance. Banish negativity and lean into gratitude. It requires a huge amount of personal work daily. I was only able to get so far in therapy and noticed even after a 7 year break I spent therapy talking a lot about spice and how happy I USED to be.

And yessir, after a 7 to 8 year break from these types of activities the ole ego has built up layers of filters and defenses.

I always thought of Shpongle as the ultimate DMT music. Here are just a few of their treats:

Shpongle I am You
Shpongle Divine Moments of Truth
Shpongle Connoisseur of Hallucination
Shpongle Behind Closed Eyes
Shpongle Dorset Perception
Shpongle When Shall I Be Free/The Stamen of the Shamen

The only techniques I used was about a month of mental preparation. Coming around to the idea that I definitely wanted to do this. Re-integrating with community. Finding old supplies and procuring new ones. Extracting. Many many many hours of heavy duty thinking about what would be needed in terms of set, how to get there and why I wanted this (for the ongoing work AND to see hyperspace again). I am not very good at meditating but meditation was involved for a couple of weeks off and on. Also I smoked a lot of harmalas to try to get in the right headspace.

I have had dark palates before. Generally I get bright, saturated colors, but that is with higher doses.

I have not tried tried the combo you mentioned which sounds like entheo magic. I have done LSD and vaped breakthrough doses at the peak. I was very impressed by the sheer insanity of the open eyed vibrating Legoland world I beheld. Also with open eyes on that combo (coming down from DMT) I watched my cat walk across the room, divide into two, then those two split, then all versions bifucated and in about 4 seconds the room was half full of brown cats and I said, "God DAMN Havanna! How many of you ARE there?!!!??"

For an old fart who has only "candy flipped" three times and who remembers when MDMA was procured from people who knew therapists and doctors and was called Adam, I adored that combination.

I have also done a number of combinations making sure to smoalk DMT at the peaks. I am almost 100% sure that other than things like THC and harmalas my days of combo drug experiences are finished.

Even though I have never tried your combo I can see why you are waiting for the perfect day to do it outdoors and I hope you have a fantastic experience.

Wow, you lurked for 10 years? Man, I don't think I lasted 10 days when I found the Nexus after a 23 year search for DMT, . I'm glad you decided to join.

 

[f1]

"Of course I expected cats, cats big, cats small, some sort of kitty. " bowhahah Cosmos seems to have a sense of humour

"Manage anger" ahh, yeah many of us including myself can relate. I find mantra helps me, yantra's which are visual aids are great combo too :thumb_up: Opposite of anger / fire is passion, feed dem passions.

"Embrace acceptance. Banish negativity and lean into gratitude." - love this, i'm living with my 91 year old grandma, and its gratitude gratitude gratitude, "what a beautiful" "how lucky are we"

"therapy talking a lot about spice and how happy I USED to be." - when you were vaping spice? or before you got muddled up with psyz?

Thank you for the Shpongle track shares! Going to give them all a good listen today. Last time I tripped I listened to Jon Hopkins Deep in the Glowing heart -

Next time likely Hania Rani any track

" the idea that I definitely wanted to do this." - good resolve, some doubt always shrouds me

Heheh your legoland lucy adventures sound amazing! quite a powerful combo! BOwhahah room of multiplying cats :lol:

Yeah its been ages since I put some MDA, MDMA in a round of drinks for myself and others.. would be open to it one nice summer eve.

Thank you for your wishes on my outdoor combo evenings. It's really quite stunning here, we spend the day and evenings kayaking around, exploring waterfalls, rivers, etc. Spring 2023 tomorrow!

When i first discovered the nexus i was obsessed with listening to every word Mckenna said and I think i likely read most trip reports at that time. Today I have a new passion, is listening for the messages littered from Hyperspace, and collecting the quotes for example - "Things got very intense super quick. I heard a voice ''Gotchya'"

Have a wonderful day