I too had some problems relating to people, and with who I wanted to be. I used psilocybin mushrooms to help me realize what I already knew (namely all the mistakes and their causes). I've decided to continue metamorphosing for the rest of my life.

Remember, that if you want to be fluid - you can. People mistakenly assume their personality and habits are fixed. That is the single biggest threat to your success, I believe. If you want to change, then it begins inside of you. Change will be hard, and sometimes (or most of the time) it will even seem like you cannot win. Those are times when your will is the only thing that will keep you going. So build a strong will. And as a first step, I'd recommend that if you're smoking (not vaping) JWH - then you cease that for the benefit of your lungs. I used to smoke JWH as well - I've since quit, and I feel much better for it. With these healthier lungs I can now exercise, and tap into an inexhaustible supply of endorphins.

It's only you.