Im in a similar state my friend ill try to write a little about my view

even if i make no sense at all writeing this will help me understand to a little better

So just know that by opening this subject u are helping more then yourself

I thank you.

Depression .. i know it all so well ..

What causes it ? where does it come from ?

Id say its root is in our consiousnes not accepting our current reality well ..

and trying hard to adapt into something that is not very natural to us ..

the routines created from the possibilities where u live ..

are not 100% ur choises but more of an choise from options that exist and forced to choose from in order to cooperate with the surronding *trip*

Just a note *im crazy on papers dont listen to me *

Not being able to jump into trip in the area we live is a bit of :thumb_dow

the trips one can choose from in a modern society are way more then depressing for one who can think

about hes true wishes

That shows of Fear existing in the area we are in ..

This is a curse but also a gift

Depression is a sign from ur mind that you are not in the right place

tryin to fight it with chems to blind urself from the truth something is wrong is not the way

it could easily explode one day those sunglasses that the chems provide

the suicide wall thats a rough place ...

if u go there u know that something has to be done and this cannot be overlooked and put aside

theres got to be some kind of action that will take u far from that place

since uve been there u know that theres should be nothing at all keeping u from walking any road u can think of away from there

nothing is more powerful then standing there leaning back on it ..

realising that from there u can walk many diffrent roads without fear 

where will u walk ?

there are many kind of roads all have their problems

try to see what kind of problems will occoure where

ending up on the side of the road for the night -1

noise,

noise,

wakeup go away from here

,noise,noise.

ending up on the sea for the night +1

sand-not to bad for a sleep

skies

no noise

free to stay all u like

im not saying those are options

im saying look what diffrent area's problems could end up like

what kind of state can u imagine living in nirvana?

if id take now a psycadelic entheogen and walk around in the surronding where i live

thats not really a good thing to do should i go to an isolated place for the experience

sometimes thats true

but finding a place u can experience existnce on a higher shift

is importent to ..

just for realisation of the power of the universe while on that state

so why not live in a place like that for the daily state to ..

if i need to get away to experience another state of mind

thats another sign to me like depression was a sign that i need to change something

Good sunglasses i use insted of the SSRI chems

agreeing to a point in the future where u will be some where else completly

where u will have many doors to look into

is a good painkiller