Sheer terror beyond my wildest nightmare

[teonanacatl420]

Hello everyone first off id like too thank everyone on this site for the invaluable infomation you have provided in particular Viracocha.I have been extracting my own dmt from Acacia Obtusifolia for the last 6 months now and have had decent results.Anyway I have only ever had the balls to do lite doses each time to assimilate the experience which where non breakthrough but still life changing too say the least.So the this afternoon I decided to push the envelope.I proceeded to smoke a full cone of my enhanced leaf which was at 1 to 1 ratio and my god I ve never been so terrified.I have never never felt such pure haterd in my life I was not in the best frame of mind to be doing such a thing which probably contributed to my awful experience.I felt as though the dmt hates me.It was like i was inbetween the phyiscal and the spirtual world. I cant even begin to desribe the feelings that I had but I was crying and pleading with it to stop I have never been so scared in all my existence.So my Question is has anyone had a similar experience and is there something to gain from this or should I not smoke dmt again.Any advice would be much appreciated thank you all ur truley lovely souls.

 

[Pandora]

The way out is through. Face the cracked mirror.

Smoke 2 cones 'o crack next time and taste the rainbow of hatred. . . .

 

[tele]

Smoke 2 cones 'o crack next time and taste the rainbow of hatred. . . .

Hah, I can imagine what a day this is to join this forum

 

[Pup Tentacle]

... taste the rainbow of hatred. . . .

nominated for phrase of theweek

 

[teonanacatl420]

Thank you both for ur replies I understand that sumtimes we have to push ourselves through hell to get to heaven and i was quite shocked to c the change of name to this brilliant site.Bit off topic but I think this site should be Kept to enlightening substances rather than chemicals that drag u down to the darkest dephts of the ego and its afflictions.Anways is there a possibility that the plant spirit of the acacia is dirty at me for taking its life or is it just my mind state any help whould b much appreciated as i need to get around this horrible experience peace love and light to all.

 

[Dethrone]

After my first rough experience I took a few weeks off and it helped make it seem like a bad dream.But not only that reflection and intergration did help me understand why it happened.At first I thought it was because I just did too much and I did.Then I realized I was using it like a toy and should have shown proper respect.Reading some trip reports helped,even the ones I had read before because I now understood them alot better.


After another bad experience my friend suggested getting right back on the saddle and going again.I tried it and had a great experience. So I guess it goes both ways.

Mindset seems to be really important.I have never meditated in my life(im 36)but I now do before trips it really helps.I just try to empty my mind as best I can then launch.I even meditate sometimes now for fun and practice
if I manage to get some time alone.

D M T is a very strange substance sometimes you are god and other times you get your ego destroyed until
nothing in your life is good at all.

 

[Orion]

DMT could 'care' less about your state of mind, it's a molecule, and it produces a random cascade of effects each time, sometimes beneficial and insightful, sometimes its a swirling vortex of sheer lunacy. Sometimes you will be in the same room, at the same time of day, listening to the same music, in the same frame of mind, and vape the same dose as the previous day's blissfull trip, and yet be confronted by rather unsettling madness.

You can read into it if you are certain there is more to it in this instance, but I'd say relax and try again (or don't ?), keep your heart open.

 

[DogMaTea]

I understand the terror you're talking about. My first experience was like that. I was hurled in so fast and into such an alien space that it produced enormous anxiety and I wanted out. The fear and terror was almost unbearable. But almost immediately after I came down I recognized that the fear was all mine. Nothing "out there" had produced it or given me any reason for it. It was simply my own reaction to being popped into another reality and dimension. Although, according to Strassman's DMT studies on volunteers, DMT does stimulate the secretion of various substances which include adrenaline. So for me I recognize the fear and terror as being caused by 1) chemical endorphins 2) the rapid transfer from one reality to another, and 3) my own reaction to it.

I left myself process this in the back of my mind for a week. During that time, I couldn't even put my finger on what the hell I had been so scared of, and realized there was nothing to be afraid of. So I did it again, this time setting my intention to stay calm and focused, and let the fear pass through me. I kept repeating the lines from DUNE: "Fear is the mind killer, the little death. I will not fear. I will let the fear pass through me. I will bend like a reed in the wind." And that worked and I had a great experience that time. I just had to realize that the fear was just me being started to death. Once I accepted that and realized it was just me creating the fear, I was able to just observe calmly the next time.

Then the third time I had a really strange experience. Not terribly negative just plain weird, like I had entered the realm of the truly schizoid and insane. Still don't know what to make of that one. But I wasn't terrified at all like the first time.

 

[corpus callosum]

So for me I recognize the fear and terror as being caused by 1) chemical endorphins 2) the rapid transfer from one reality to another, and 3) my own reaction to it.

The endorphins, and certainly exogenous analogues (ie opiates/opioids) are most unlikely to cause fear and terror.Point 3,as a response to point 2, IMO, is most often the cause of such torment and this is inextricably linked to ones mindset.

 

[tele]

It can really be horrible at some times and it's really a mystery to me what triggers the unpleasant ones, as when I have experienced them I was in normal state of mind. And when I smoke after the unpleasant ones(usually within 1hour if I dare), everythings back to normal and I feel like I was going through a test and there are even cheerful entities around to congratulate me.

Just saying that most people think DMT might be all light and fairies but actually it has a real dark side to it too and after you have visited it you know you have balls if you don't give up your explorations.

 

[CosmicFool]

I can remember my first rip of DMT and a full blown breakthrough at the same time was such a beatdown I didnt dare to touch DMT in over 6 months. But hey, I figured that in my +20 years of lifetime my brain had gotten so used to normal life that when everything was blown to smithereens and nothing was the way it was "supposed" to be my precious little brain went to a shock of some sort- I mean how are you supposed to be ready for something that puts literally everything upside down and inside out?

And as I had absolutely no experience of psychedelics before trying DMT, I didnt know what to expect. Sure I had read TONS of trip reports but most of them dont even scratch the surface of the actual experience

 

[oden]

Sorry you got a cosmic slam
It happens..when i first started i got the best,the cream,the love and joy.
Could not stop talking about,then pandora explaned the Honeymoon phase..lol
I thought noooo way..then a few times after that i got slapped so hard.
It made me think i died. But i would not trade that moment for anything.

Do not be afraid it gets crazy,but your ok now and a lil smarter respect Oden

 

[CosmicFool]

Same here. Even though it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced, I wouldnt trade it for anything. What I've learned from those toughest journeys is that they are often ones with the most knowledge and they really, really really make you ponder your own life, others lives etc. Surely put mine in a completely new perspective

 

[CKAY77]

I've had some good luck with mindfulness meditation. As it turns out, this intentional focusing of attention on the moment actually can change the brain. Even static MRI data shows structurual change in the amygdala. That plus some mindblowing experience really has helped me relax into letting go...for at least a few minutes anyways