Should I?

[Diffraction]

Hi, I'm 26 Male. Want to do a little of this and that ALWAYS. I love growing, extracting, tinkering, and making.

When I turned 21 a series of unhealthy and unwise decisions left me seeing static 24/7 and panicking constantly and a fair bit paranoid.
Fought like hell and sobered up a couple years to swing back from that. Got into good physical shape, eating healthier, keeping a stable environment for myself, shrunk my social circles and was a better person to others and myself after this.

My worry is going back there, I don't think I would have the energy to put up that fight again. Also I can't smoke weed anymore without tweaking out having overwhelming visuals and getting paranoid (think hyperventilating, overanalyzing and falling into a fractured fractal dimension of hell). I love fungi (functional off an eighth), and cid sits well with me.

I want to try and see what this thing (DMT) is that I've studied for 8 years, but I want some experienced opinions on how I could best set myself up for safety or if I should remain curious until death because of that past experience. (Took 2 years, antipsychs + antidepressants, strict routines, self care everything, therapy and grit to trust myself, my thoughts and my body again. I was homeless for past if it, and lost a lot of friends and family.) I have not been medicated coming up in 4 years now, I have a beautiful girl, stable housing, stable income, and a bunch of hobbies.

 

[Varallo]

With a background like that I’d really ask myself why you’d want to do this. Why is this an important step. Beyond curiosity it may be better to find other ways to explore yourself or new hobbies instead of using psychedelics. Did you try meditation?

I understand the appeal. Still I think it’s unwise for you to use them again. It hasn’t brought you peace before so why repeat it?

If you ever decide to do it make sure it’s safe (physical) and mindful. But imo for you the best choice is not to do it.

 

[Diffraction]

With a background like that I’d really ask myself why you’d want to do this. Why is this an important step. Beyond curiosity it may be better to find other ways to explore yourself or new hobbies instead of using psychedelics. Did you try meditation?

I understand the appeal. Still I think it’s unwise for you to use them again. It hasn’t brought you peace before so why repeat it?

If you ever decide to do it make sure it’s safe (physical) and mindful. But imo for you the best choice is not to do it.

Thank you.

 

[CosmicRiver]

so now you take mushrooms and LSD with no consequences?
and which drugs made you go through what you described?

 

[blig-blug]

Only you can answer that question, really. You know better than anyone your risk, your risk tolerance, what you want, and what potential trade-offs you're willing to make.

The general advice would be what @Varallo said. However if you're already taking mushrooms and LSD, and it causes you no issues, I don't see why or how DMT would present a higher risk (at an equivalent dose).

So probably you should reassess whether to take psychedelics in general. But if the answer is that you decide to continue, IMO there's no need to worry more about DMT than LSD (at equivalent dose levels).

 

[TheGreenPhantom]

I think you'd be better off immersing yourself in a career that excites and challenges you. Finding out about yourself – and the world at large – through satisfying, hard work will be far more rewarding... and longer lived.

 

[Diffraction]

so now you take mushrooms and LSD with no consequences?
and which drugs made you go through what you described?

I was just fucked up, very little real empathy. I tried hard to be "good" in spite of that. Adults in my life were "doing the best they could with the tools they had" but still left me largely dissociative, derealized, depressed in a perpetual existential crisis. I felt like once I turned 18 that the world owed me something for it all so I didn't plan, didn't try, and started smoking daily at 14. Petty much tried everything by 21 because I liked watching the way things changed my perspective and kept looking for something outside of myself to give me what I was looking for. I would eat like shit (no exaggeration fast food 90% of the time) I'd lay around, beat my meat, sleep around, drinking and smoking every day all day switching jobs 4-5 times a year, homeless here and there, lying, stealing, self aggrandizing. Every time I closed my eyes I would see myself dying violently. Life was passing me by, everyone I knew was doing things and I was just still as a stone watching and waiting and it just broke me completely.

I was suddenly forced to look at myself for my situation and it was my fault. Pretty much just speed ran coping with my childhood -young adult experience. Realized nobody owed me shit for the shitty shit that happened and assumed responsibility for my own shit.

I had to burn it all out of me, every excuse and everything I had allowed myself to become and start working.

To be honest I think drug wise weed was the one that got me. As weenie hut Jr. as that sounds. I woke up, smoked, ate, smoked, smoked again, napped, smoked, scrolled my phone, smoked. If I wanted to do anything I smoked first and probably while doing said activity if more than an hour passed during.

When I first stopped smoking I didn't know who I was. I'd light up after a day or two and feel like myself again, but also uncomfortable. Then i would think back and wonder who the fuck was in my body the last 48 hours. That an the unprocessed trauma. Shit was not normal, like when I would talk about my life casually people would assume I was truama dumping.

Mushrooms were my best friend after getting my body healthy, they are an exceptional pre workout and pain reliever, and solo trips in the dark helped me stop making excuses, they kind of unstuck me when I would be running into a mental wall the Mushrooms would be like "just walk around it bro"
Group trips were great for bonding, and just stopping to enjoy being alive with others for a minute.

 

[fink]

As a general rule from my perspective: if cannabis is too much for you to process positively...DMT is probably a terrible idea.

 

[Diffraction]

I think you'd be better off immersing yourself in a career that excites and challenges you. Finding out about yourself – and the world at large – through satisfying, hard work will be far more rewarding... and longer lived.

I'm looking into higher education. I currently am working on enterprise grade servers for large to medium data centers. But I feel I've reached a point where im not really challenged in that environment anymore.
I'm not sure about getting into tech because the AI bubble + AI making my degree obsolete a year before I'd graduate with a bachelor's.

I LOVE horticulture, but can't find the money in it. And I have been doing trade related work since middle school. I can't weld (yet) plumbing knowledge is limited. I have certifications and licenses for electrical, concrete was fun when my body healed faster, framing & carpentry more or less the same.

Im considering Bio-tech, robotics or chemistry related studies. Gotta carve out the time to decide, and dip my toes in somewhere to decide if it's worth the investment. (I should have gone to college way sooner, but hey I was fucked up, stupid and poor)

 

[Diffraction]

Thank you.

As a general rule from my perspective: if cannabis is too much for you to process positively...DMT is probably a terrible idea.

 

[TheGreenPhantom]

I'm looking into higher education. I currently am working on enterprise grade servers for large to medium data centers. But I feel I've reached a point where im not really challenged in that environment anymore.
I'm not sure about getting into tech because the AI bubble + AI making my degree obsolete a year before I'd graduate with a bachelor's.

I LOVE horticulture, but can't find the money in it. And I have been doing trade related work since middle school. I can't weld (yet) plumbing knowledge is limited. I have certifications and licenses for electrical, concrete was fun when my body healed faster, framing & carpentry more or less the same.

Im considering Bio-tech, robotics or chemistry related studies. Gotta carve out the time to decide, and dip my toes in somewhere to decide if it's worth the investment. (I should have gone to college way sooner, but hey I was fucked up, stupid and poor)

These are all very good choices, and as an older guy, I have to say it's a pretty exciting time for you! The world is full of opportunities!

You're at a crossroad. Take some time and study the "map" – see which way each path leads and decide if it's for you or not. And maybe ask for the opinions of trusted loved ones as well; talk to people in the field, see what they have to say about it.

Having certifications and licenses in trades that most people are unknowledgeable about and which engage both body and mind is really a great start. But, only you know what's right for you....

Good luck!

 

[northape]

I think you should invest time in your education and career. You can gain all the experience and insight you need simply by engaging with life. Life is the ultimate teacher, and there are a number of ways to explore: hobbies, sports, meditation, and travel. All of these are going to give you so much more than just psychedelic use. You already did your deep dive in your early years and even managed to pull yourself back up. Why risk it all for some unknown benefit?

If mushrooms agree with you, use them occasionally to rebalance and find new joys in life. However, they should never be your focus. Starting a family and investing time in your children could be another good step for a man. The family structure is collapsing everywhere, and establishing a healthy relationship would give you all the life lessons you require. The same applies to finding a job you enjoy and feel fulfilled in. Basically, give yourself more credit and enjoy life. We are in this incarnation for a reason. Exploring some disembodied reality will come whether you want it to or not at the final stage of life. It is much more critical to be prepared by then and feel complete before your last journey.

May you find healing

 

[Transform]

I LOVE horticulture, but can't find the money in it. And I have been doing trade related work since middle school. I can't weld (yet) plumbing knowledge is limited. I have certifications and licenses for electrical, concrete was fun when my body healed faster, framing & carpentry more or less the same.

Hi and a belated welcome from me too!

Sounds like an ultra-compact microgreens farm might be your kind of thing. You seem to have all the necessary skills for bringing something like this to fruit. Speaking of fruition, gourmet and medicinal mushroom cultivation would also provide you with a satisfying set of challenges.

I guess it all depends on whether you want to be your own boss starting from scratch, or not.

And remember, besides DMT there is (are) also harmalas. And cactus…
Be kind to yourself, and feel free to share your trauma-related insights in the appropriate subsection of the forum.

 

[NeitherHere]

The question i see : "is the juice worth the squeeze" and you're the only one who could possibly answer that for yourself.

Dmt is amazing don't get me wrong but it can and most definitely will mess you up if its not respected and taken seriously.

If you're going to participate in this little magic trick we've figured out I would highly recommend starting very slow and patient.

Remember best practices like set and setting as well as safeguards like trip sitters and emergency care plans etc etc.

we all handle this a bit differently.

Best of luck and welcome aboard friend