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so deep

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impossiblemachine

impossiblemachine

Rising Star
hello all,

ive written before about feeling more experienced and wise about life, humanity, since i smoked DMT for the first time. it is a giant responsibility i feel. i smoked it and i still do. however i find that i get so deep in my head about everything. everything is so deep. i feel like my brain, even though im not aware of it, is working overtime because of what i experienced. i question a lot. i question what can be labeled. i question the faiths that millions of people have died for since their origin. i question the very faith that my family raised me in. i see it as another label that makes it even more of an illusion.

my question is, what if i were told that this was acid, or some chemical or something that made you feel this way and it makes you see elves and dancing figures and rooms and colors. would i come back here thinking that..."wow, cool trip, now back to reality" DMT was introduced to me as work/church/spirituality. so having it feel so real, so refreshing, so familiar to me even more so than my own faith has caused to me question. why do we need "drugs" to do this? to feel this? if its so right and we need to know this information and experience this, why such a process to do what seems so natural?

i love this forum and the positivity that surrounds it. i will continue to use DMT and have no intentions of ever stopping really. i just wanted to share what was on my mind. everything is good, positive. much love to my fellow nexus buds. looking forward to the next session.
 
Yeah man ii definitely hear ya.
Post spice I question so many things about existence, the nature of reality, other dimesions etc and it can be sometimes quite distracting. Like i find it hard to concentrate at work (but that may also be due to the fact that my job is so boring)

Sometime i feel a little scared at how little we know and how much there is to know, kinda like the feeling of being in really really deep water, and you dont know what is lurking beneath.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts bro.
 
Well it is a neurotransmitter right! It does feel soo natural.. like a warm welcome home after a long dream

"why do we need "drugs" to do this? to feel this? if its so right and we need to know this information and experience this, why such a process to do what seems so natural?"

Some claim to be able to without drugs. Ive had similar experiences without drugs, but only like a dmt breakthrough when in dreams. I don't really like to think of them as drugs because drugs have a misguided stigma attached to them in our society and the word "drugs" is simply a word we give to all chemicals that alter consciousness in some way. Caffine is a drug, sugars a drug, there are drugs in your brain. Dmt is in you and me and thousands of species all over the earth its not some research chemical, its very natural in that aspect I guess 😉
 
This energy, this force, that takes hold of us in hyperspace is something special and it does feel natural. How do we know that this isn't taking us one step close to enlightenment or getting in touch with the divine?

When you get down to it, all the basic tenets of every religion are the same, love life and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. All the other rules were glommed on by humanity later. For all we know, whatever is out there might be the same thing revealing itself to different cultures as they would best understand/embrace it.

Granted, I'm still very new to this, but so far the only difference I see between this and other religions is they've been written about and studied for thousands of years, and DMT was forced undergroud.
 
Neuronaut said:
This energy, this force, that takes hold of us in hyperspace is something special and it does feel natural. How do we know that this isn't taking us one step close to enlightenment or getting in touch with the divine?

When you get down to it, all the basic tenets of every religion are the same, love life and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. All the other rules were glommed on by humanity later. For all we know, whatever is out there might be the same thing revealing itself to different cultures as they would best understand/embrace it.
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There is also a possibility that this feeling is an illusion as well, caused due to a sudden change in brain chemistry. However, I sincerely hope this is not the case, and this energy we experience is actually real, and somehow unperceived by normal conciousness. It most certainly does feel divine, real and important. After my trip, reality feels a bit mundane in comparison.

What I feel shocked about after my spice breakthrough is that humanity has invested so much time and energy towards pursuits that is directly dependent on a certain configuration of brain chemistry. A slight alteration of brain chemistry is enough to throw away reality,our memories as well as identity. In such a case, is it even wise for society/individuals to go so madly behind materialism and sense-pursuits?

Are our true goals of a much higher nature, such as realization of the truth of reality, which we are not working towards achieving due to being distracted by (relatively)silly things such as wealth, cars, beauty,etc? Our current psychotic obsession with materialism is akin to kids collecting pokemon cards. Sooner or later they will grow out of it, and their collections will be of absolutely no worth. We adults might be no different.
 
The flaws of society seem so obvious to me now. In fact everything seems clearer than its ever been thanks to spice.

I think the hyperspace realm is something real and more than just a scrambling of our perceptions. There are common truths that arise that all religions seem to have in common That has to mean something. Today I felt like I was able to contain the energy flowing through me during my spice journeys.
I was sitting next to my fire outside in nature. " Breath through the energy " breath through the energy I repeated. The powerful flow of energy came up through me and out my arms and head . The message was clear that we have the power to help others and feed the struggling world the divine energy flowing so beautifully through us. To focus the energy and help people. This is important stuff we are doing here I have to believe that.
 
I wish I could get rid of the things I've gained from exploration. Ignorance is bliss has a new meaning to me now. The bullshit we rabidly chase everyday has been exposed as bullshit. The completely human inventions that do nothing but harm and hurt are exposed as human inventions. I wish I could be an egomaniacal douche who thinks Americans are #1 at everything. Unfortunately though, I cannot anymore. Information gained through spice = with you forever. Only take the ticket to the show if you're ready to forget everything you know.
 
Skizm said:
I wish I could get rid of the things I've gained from exploration. Ignorance is bliss has a new meaning to me now. The bullshit we rabidly chase everyday has been exposed as bullshit. The completely human inventions that do nothing but harm and hurt are exposed as human inventions. I wish I could be an egomaniacal douche who thinks Americans are #1 at everything. Unfortunately though, I cannot anymore. Information gained through spice = with you forever. Only take the ticket to the show if you're ready to forget everything you know.
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Strange, I've gotten the opposite reaction. After an experience I just had recently with DMT, I feel like knowledge is absolute bliss. But it just leads me to wonder how our prior experiences with life affect how DMT hit us. I mean... I've never been particularly materialistic... I'm not ambitious at all, and I used to feel very detached from everything that was happening in the world around me. Trying Pharma just enriched my life... I feel now, more than ever, the joy of just living. I would never trade my DMT experiences for forgetfulness (although taking pharma does make me feel very forgetful)
 
Origami Existence said:
Skizm said:
I wish I could get rid of the things I've gained from exploration. Ignorance is bliss has a new meaning to me now. The bullshit we rabidly chase everyday has been exposed as bullshit. The completely human inventions that do nothing but harm and hurt are exposed as human inventions. I wish I could be an egomaniacal douche who thinks Americans are #1 at everything. Unfortunately though, I cannot anymore. Information gained through spice = with you forever. Only take the ticket to the show if you're ready to forget everything you know.
Click to expand...

Strange, I've gotten the opposite reaction. After an experience I just had recently with DMT, I feel like knowledge is absolute bliss. But it just leads me to wonder how our prior experiences with life affect how DMT hit us. I mean... I've never been particularly materialistic... I'm not ambitious at all, and I used to feel very detached from everything that was happening in the world around me. Trying Pharma just enriched my life... I feel now, more than ever, the joy of just living. I would never trade my DMT experiences for forgetfulness (although taking pharma does make me feel very forgetful)
Click to expand...

The problem with me, was that I liked the idea of being intelligent. Having a grasp on what was going on in today's world was quite enjoyable too me. Then I tripped. So, while I still take pleasure in understanding everything I can I'm faced by the truth that I do not know as much as I thought I did.

Am I appreciative of the information I gained? Absolutely. That being said, having your outlook on everything shattered while you're going through college preparing yourself to work a company that develops technology for the United States guvment doesn't exactly make the process any easier.
 
Skizm said:
Origami Existence said:
Skizm said:
I wish I could get rid of the things I've gained from exploration. Ignorance is bliss has a new meaning to me now. The bullshit we rabidly chase everyday has been exposed as bullshit. The completely human inventions that do nothing but harm and hurt are exposed as human inventions. I wish I could be an egomaniacal douche who thinks Americans are #1 at everything. Unfortunately though, I cannot anymore. Information gained through spice = with you forever. Only take the ticket to the show if you're ready to forget everything you know.
Click to expand...

Strange, I've gotten the opposite reaction. After an experience I just had recently with DMT, I feel like knowledge is absolute bliss. But it just leads me to wonder how our prior experiences with life affect how DMT hit us. I mean... I've never been particularly materialistic... I'm not ambitious at all, and I used to feel very detached from everything that was happening in the world around me. Trying Pharma just enriched my life... I feel now, more than ever, the joy of just living. I would never trade my DMT experiences for forgetfulness (although taking pharma does make me feel very forgetful)
Click to expand...

The problem with me, was that I liked the idea of being intelligent. Having a grasp on what was going on in today's world was quite enjoyable too me. Then I tripped. So, while I still take pleasure in understanding everything I can I'm faced by the truth that I do not know as much as I thought I did.

Am I appreciative of the information I gained? Absolutely. That being said, having your outlook on everything shattered while you're going through college preparing yourself to work a company that develops technology for the United States guvment doesn't exactly make the process any easier.
Click to expand...

Hm, that's an interesting take on how DMT can potentially be very shattering for a person. People often speak of it as though they have (or had) some artificial idea of what "reality" was that allowed it to be broken in the first place.

I don't even know where I was taught this in the first place, but somehow during my early teenage years, I was told to question absolutely everything that I'm told, "science" included... It must sound as though I lack faith, to look at the world, and have so little trust in it, or maybe it's just cowardice, and the fear of being wrong... I don't know. I just find it interesting how some people can find their whole world shaken by dmt while others (like myself) somehow find things the same, except richer, deeper, and more colourful.

Salvia however... that definitely shook my world, if only because it took me so fast, and so hard...
 
Skizm said:
The problem with me, was that I liked the idea of being intelligent. Having a grasp on what was going on in today's world was quite enjoyable too me. Then I tripped. So, while I still take pleasure in understanding everything I can I'm faced by the truth that I do not know as much as I thought I did.

Am I appreciative of the information I gained? Absolutely. That being said, having your outlook on everything shattered while you're going through college preparing yourself to work a company that develops technology for the United States guvment doesn't exactly make the process any easier.
Click to expand...

This sounds an awful lot like I true story told in psychology circles of an old man who had been blind all his life and was suddenly able to see based on a new medical advance. That person became very unhappy because he now realized that the things he took pride in being able to do were really insignificant compared to other people who have sight. At his late age, he never successfully adapted to his new reality.

On the other hand, we all invest energy in defending parts of us that are harmful to our happiness in the long run. Take someone who is a compulsive gambler, for example. Although anyone could see that his gambling is harmful to him, he will likely defend it to the end and not see the negatives. If by chance (say through therapy) he starts to change, he will experience major discomfort and disorientation during the transition period, because he is losing part of himself (albeit a negative part). It takes time for the "new" personality to feel like "him". Its almost like an addiction to a substance. Smoking cigarettes is not good for one's health, but someone who tries to quit is going to experience a lot of discomfort in the short term. Still, they are much better off and feel better about themselves in the long term.

If you've had some realizations that a particular career you were considering is not for you, the chances are very good that had you not had those realizations and continued pursuing that career you would not be genuinely happy. You might not know why, but it would always seem something was not right, that you had not "found yourself". Addressing this is never pleasant, but better now than in the middle of a career when half your life is over.

In light of your realizations, is it possible for you maybe to make just some slight changes in your career that would lead to more fullfillment. For example (I'm not saying this is your case since I don't know the details but I'm just giving an example), take someone who planned to work for the military developing new weapons systems. They then have an experience (perhaps through DMT or other drugs) where they see that all humanity is connected and that the idea of "us vs them" no longer makes sense to them. Well maybe instead of developing weapons they can do similar work developing spacecraft. That would provide a sense of fullfillment without violating their new-found principles.

Even if your realizations do mean that you have to totally change your career plans, its not the end of the world. I changed my major 3 times during college, and have never regretted what I ended up doing. In retrospect, I think I would have been a lot less happy had I not made the changes.

elphologist
 
When I say that my worldview was shattered, I do not mean it in the sense that it changed who I am personally. My limited experience with psychedelics has just aided me in seeing the universe in a different manner. Instead of being an avowed atheist who thought anything besides politics and money did not matter I am now an avowed atheist who believes in greater forces (time/entropy) and the need for the human species to get over it's trivial bullshit squabbling. Tripping definately enriched the things that I appreciate (music, art, science, etc) but the part that distresses me is it wiped my bullshit tablet completely clean. That upsets me because I honestly thought my bullshit tablet was already empty.

To come to the realization that despite my own best efforts to weed through the useless information of today to find the real gems I still accumulated a sizeable collection of useless information was quite jarring for me. I'm still young, 19, and I almost went through life WITHOUT trying psychedelics. Living life with the priorities that I had before spice? Now that's a trip!

As for my career, I love what I do, but who I do it for? That's what will change over time :)
 
Neuronaut said:
When you get down to it, all the basic tenets of every religion are the same, love life and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. All the other rules were glommed on by humanity later. For all we know, whatever is out there might be the same thing revealing itself to different cultures as they would best understand/embrace it.
Click to expand...

That is EXACTLY why I am agnostic. What if others do NOT WANT done to them the same things that I want done to me? Then doing so to them will be a violence against them.

The question of whether what we see on DMT is 'really out there' is not a resolvable one. You can either take it on faith (as many people do) and assert something either way, or you can accept that it is unknowable and live with the constant wonder this produces.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be intelligent. It is an ambition I wish MORE people cared about.
 
impossiblemachine said:
hello all,
...so having it feel so real, so refreshing, so familiar to me even more so than my own faith has caused to me question. why do we need "drugs" to do this? to feel this? if its so right and we need to know this information and experience this, why such a process to do what seems so natural?
Click to expand...

Is it context that determines what is perceived as separated, and what not? What is natural and what not?
Like you are not getting from ‘drug’ to the ‘process what seems so natural’. From what perspective are you looking at this you may ask yourself.

I do feel just as natural as flowers or plastics. How can things be not natural anyway?
If something does not seem natural, or seems separated, then this is because of the way (context) it is perceived (from).
Duality my ass (cheeks :oops: )
 
Skizm said:
When I say that my worldview was shattered, I do not mean it in the sense that it changed who I am personally. My limited experience with psychedelics has just aided me in seeing the universe in a different manner.
Click to expand...
Yes, it can be quite shocking, a total reset of worldview. Now you know that the world is much bigger than you ever imagined! Just take some time to digest all this and all will be fine - maybe slow down a bit with the DMT sessions.. 19 is very young indeed but hey, you're probably much more mature than me at 19 :)
 
tryptographer said:
Skizm said:
When I say that my worldview was shattered, I do not mean it in the sense that it changed who I am personally. My limited experience with psychedelics has just aided me in seeing the universe in a different manner.
Click to expand...
Yes, it can be quite shocking, a total reset of worldview. Now you know that the world is much bigger than you ever imagined! Just take some time to digest all this and all will be fine - maybe slow down a bit with the DMT sessions.. 19 is very young indeed but hey, you're probably much more mature than me at 19 :)
Click to expand...


As scary as it is, I love the fact that something in life still scares the living shit out of me. Patriot Act? Pfft, that's stuff is OLD!
 
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