I feel we all control our reality tunnel, how we view, interpret, and relate to the world.  Sometimes it doesn't feel like it, or its hard to see how when everything seems to be swirling and chaotic.  Sometimes the way is to impose dramatic change upon yourself.  The person you wish to swoop down to save you is right there in the mirror.  

It sounds as though you are not content, you feel something is lacking, and you feel isolated.  I think you might need a hefty dose of change.  Test your limits here on earth.  Find out what you are capable of. Finally find out what it is that this world has to offer that you want and take it.  We are not here to travel hyperspace, we are here to experience this world.  While psychedelics certainly help us to understand this world, we are here now to experience this existence, not hyperspace.

I want the to love and be loved by my special lady.  I want to travel the wilderness by foot, explore the vast mountains and deserts, and work hard to provide food and shelter for my love.  Work is equally as important as pleasure.....they really do define each other and make each other worth it.