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someone who talks to much?

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KwisatzHaderach

KwisatzHaderach

everything is becoming
I dunno why I wanted to open this topic here, but for some reason it seemed fitting.

Is there any sort of spiritual...stigma (perhaps blockage) towards people who cannot stop talking? Not saying that someone who can't stop talking is good/bad or whatever. But I get frustrated by people who aggressively engage in conversation, telling me about everything at once! Changing topics like every few minutes and generally "controlling" conversations by ALWAYS adding their opinion or experience on said topic. Throwing in "Devil's advocate" opinions even just to "spice up" the conversation when that isn't even how they truly feel on the subject.

But most typically what frustrates me is those who finds at every opportunity to tell me how much he's/she's changed in the past year (since several entheogen experiences) and how enlightened he's/she;s becoming. And what throws me off about this is that I feel for some reason that it is counter-intuitive for a person seeking enlightenment to continually tell others that they are seeking enlightenment. I've always felt this way because I've found that talking about something is half the battle; DOING something is actually task. So instead of telling others my goal to enlighten myself and others; I simply try to live it (which is a learning process everyday).

So his incessant talking about how he wants me to see the light and not give a fuck because it doesn't matter, really throws off my chi. It actually does the reverse of expanding me, and seems to defensively build my ego (like hey I'm not doing enough you think?!).

-end rant-

phew, that feels good to release some tension. What are your all opinions? Is verbal communication always a necessity for us to connect? does communication require a balance? What does this mean in someone's spiritual path?

And I mean this all in the best curiosity.

peace and love
 
Think I know what you mean, KwisatzHaderach.

Seems to me the "conversationalists" fall into at least two categories.

The first seem to be trying to convince themselves they are going in the right direction (for them). When it's done a bit over the top, maybe there is a block deep down that is clashing with what they are saying - as you say ".... when that isn't even how they truly feel on the subject" would suggest that.

One other is when they are overdoing distancing themselves from a position to disown it, they seem like they are trying too hard to be "one of us" and not "one of them". Or should I say In crowd / out crowd.

This path to enlightenment he is following has brought him to his crossroads, by the sound of it. He probably should find a way to resolve the inner conflict or conflicts that his path has brought him face to face with.

But then, I can really only tell me how I should do this or that.

I would just keep on with my own way of travelling this life - looking inside - and not get caught up with what others are up to. At my own pace. I like to visualise an ancient building, where inside it is perfectly calm, no matter what rain or storms are happening on the outside.

In fact I could go on ... I often do!... but yes, there are a few of those verbally enthusiastic souls around.

Blockage and conflict. Seems about right.

HMM.... a rant section ... now that could take off!

Cheers.


IF YOU CAN'T RETURN THE FAVOUR - PASS IT ON.
 
i'd say it means it's time to stop listening to this friend. and, if they don't give you the chance to not listen to them, get away from them! you're right...talking about searching for enlightenment and how you've found it is a bit backwards. True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing (Socrates), so, if he was really enlightened, he would in fact be talking less and less about how enlightened he is.

i, myself, am hyper-verbal. my mind is a giant cluster fuck so to make sense of it all, i talk it out. whether i'm by myself or around others, doesn't matter, so i'm not really talking to impress others.

there are also those who have more to say. i don't believe communication is balanced in the sense that everyone should talk the same amount. i believe that it should be balanced in the aspect that if someone thinks they are such a great teacher, they will have great students. if someone is meant to be a leader or a teacher or a guide (or what have you), it will naturally occur and people will follow/listen. another good analogy in regards to this is one i heard an old guy say: if someone asks me if i'm a christian, i tell them to ask my neighbor. (not trying to talk about christianity, just an analogy). if this cat is sooo enlightened, he won't have to tell you. whenever i find that a certain friends behavior becomes annoying, i either confront them or stop hanging out with them, depending on the situation and the action.

really wanna get your point across? ask him a question about enlightenment and then when he starts to talk (which they will cuz these kinda people are engulfed in their ego), get up and leave. it's rude but i've found it to be quite the catalyst...it will stop their "holier than thou" train of thought right in it's tracks.
 
it shows their thoughts are cluttered and disorganized. Throw a handful of stones in a calm pond and it creates chaos on the surface. Look at the great minds of our time they speak little. They never use 1000 words when 10 will do. But when they speak people listen and they remember what is said. For some communication is a mode of entertainment. For others it is a tool that should only be used when it is needed. That is not to say casual conversation is of no value it helps people connect. But anything in excess can harm.
 
No I don't think verbal communication is always a necessity for connection, in fact I find some of my most memorable times of both social interaction and solitude to be in total silence.
I'm usually a quiet non-talker who is lost in thought, but when I start talking I usually tend to talk too much:lol:

Some people jump from tangent to tangent in weird manners that actually help them understand.
Perhaps if people are controlling conversations it means others must be paying attention in order for it to be a conversation in the first place.

Sometimes (not as often as it may seem) I use talking as an outsource for my collection of thoughts. Multiple perspectives can really fuel the flow of tangents and occasionally I end up in really interesting places in my mind. Most times not so much, but it's more about imagination and curiosity with me.

We can't ever prove we're right, so what's the point in even talking at all? Everything we say is a reflection of our thought processes and thus in at least some tiny way a bias opinion.
The whole idea is words are separate from actions, we are free to speak whatever wasteful banter we please.
 
if God intended for us to talk more than listen, he would have given us two mouths and one ear.


although, psychobabble can be quite stimulating if you're with the right sparing partner. we're all just reflections...
 
The Windbag.

The most effective seductions are driven by looks, indirect actions, physical lures. Words have a place, but too much talk will generally break the spell, heightening surface differences and weighing things down. People who talk a lot most often talk about themselves. They have never acquired that inner voice that wonders, Am I boring you? To be a Windbag is to have a deep-rooted selfishness. Never interrupt or argue with these types--that only fuels their windbaggery. At all costs learn to control your own tongue.
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--Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction, Chapter 10, "The Anti-Seducer"
 
Ah :D :D :D

thanks for the replies y'all. I think as suggested, I'm going to talk to my friend about it. He's generally pretty open to criticism. It's just a delicate balance to me, because I also dislike being the person to stop others momentum. But as you remind me Vovin, anything to excess can be harmful.

But there really are some great replies here that have really got me thinking. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts everyone!

peace and love
 
ms_manic_minxx said:
The Windbag.

The most effective seductions are driven by looks, indirect actions, physical lures. Words have a place, but too much talk will generally break the spell, heightening surface differences and weighing things down. People who talk a lot most often talk about themselves. They have never acquired that inner voice that wonders, Am I boring you? To be a Windbag is to have a deep-rooted selfishness. Never interrupt or argue with these types--that only fuels their windbaggery. At all costs learn to control your own tongue.
Click to expand...

--Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction, Chapter 10, "The Anti-Seducer"
Click to expand...

Yep, listening to Robert Green sure does lead to a happy life.

Law 2 Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies
Law 3 Conceal your intentions
Law 7 Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit
Law 11 Learn to keep people dependent on you
Law 14 Pose as a friend, work as a spy
Law 15 Crush your enemy totally
Law 33 Discover each man's thumbscrew
Law 38 Think as you like but behave like others


"Be what you speak
Man, never speak on what you be"

And to the OP, why does it bother you so much ? Are you afraid that he'll reach that "goal" sooner ? How do you FEEL when he is talking about that ?

It's not his actions but YOUR perception of them.
 
I get you man. I think it's quite alright to talk about seeking enlightenment as long as it is talked about in justice. Talking about all the benefits isn't the way forward but I don't see why we cannot talk about our direct experience with the spiritual journey, getting a better grasp of what it is, is surely more possible through conversation.

I do find that modern man has this incessant verbal thing. One must always laugh or bring up something trivial to fill all the gaps of silence lest we allow room for thought in-between! I like delving into a subject and trying to find my groundings and actually resolve understandings rather than constant brief mentionings. People get quite anxious when confronted with deep meaningful conversation. One deep conversation blows every and all trivial meanders out of the water.

As for the specific person, I would not dare to consider the persons psychic complexes with the information that's been given. Your reception of his words is your own private meaning to what he is saying. It's a journey, we should be talking about where we are going. He may just be over-enthusiastic and might not understand the mental growing pains that come with psychic growth, I think they really humble you the most.
 
ICEKOHLD said:
if God intended for us to talk more than listen, he would have given us two mouths and one ear.
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That's a good one.:d I'm sure it will get stucked in my mind and soon or later I will see someone with two mouths and one ear in DMT trip or in a dream...

Here is some old 'wisdom'(translation attempt from slovak language ) : 'to speak is the silver, but to shut the f*ck up is the gold'



Regards.
 
i can relate to your discomfort.

i once had a girlfriend who had a habit of playing devils advocate whenever the opportunity presented itself. i found this most annoying and pointless. she didnt believe in most of her words she was simply playing devils advocate just out of habit and i guess a way to stay in the conversation because she herself didnt actually have a position or opinion on the topic at hand. whats wrong with just listening and asking questions then? thats still conversing.

i enjoy a good smart debate but not just for the sake of debating.

anyways this aggravated me to the point i eventually stopped wanting to talk with her about anything. i told her my feelings but it was like she was addicted to it and couldn't stop. eventually i ended our relationship due to poor communication.
 
ICEKOHLD said:
if God intended for us to talk more than listen, he would have given us two mouths and one ear.
Click to expand...


No offense intended, but by that logic one must think less (one brain), and act more (2 legs, 2 arms, etc.). Obviously this isn't the case.

@Original Post:
Patience and tolerance are easily obtainable necessities for anyone with a brain. I love having conversations with people who have a lot to say, all the time. Maybe they want to continually remind themselves of the goals they are trying to obtain, and are simply looking for support for their journey?

Sometimes it helps to talk about the things you are going through, even if it's with a total stranger.
 
People that talk too much put me off severely. I have one friend who just won't shut up, no matter what the topic, but generally at least he doesn't tell me what to do. I have another who likes talking ALOT and keeps trying to push his spiritual ideas onto me. I confronted him finally saying I found his pushing really suffocating and at least for the times we spent together I always felt my own pathways through reality being dissolved again, only to recrystallise again once he left... so I was left with nothing, except feeling like he was trying to impose a foreign structure onto me... When I talked to him about it, he was really happy that I had told him this. I haven't had many talks with him afterwards, so I don't know if things have changed. But I'd say def. try talking to the person if you value their conversations.
Otherwise just avoid the person or at least know what you're getting into when you meet. keep your ground...

in general ppl who talk too much just really really kill my buzz, whether sober or intoxicated... I just can't get my energies flowing properly when I'm constantly besieged by words without time to think or properly interact with what is being said. perhaps this is why I prefer writing to speaking... it's easier to get my thoughts straight... as straight as they will go in any case. well, maybe bent and twisted is better anyway... *caugh*
 
Steely said:
but by that logic one must think less (one brain), and act more (2 legs, 2 arms, etc.). Obviously this isn't the case.
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Thinking things through is obviously a necessity, but I think that sometimes I over-think on many decisions. Just going with my initial "gut feeling" is better in a lot of cases than analyzing it to death.
Enoon said:
I just can't get my energies flowing properly when I'm constantly besieged by words without time to think or properly interact with what is being said. perhaps this is why I prefer writing to speaking... it's easier to get my thoughts straight... as straight as they will go in any case.
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I'm the same way. I find people who talk incessantly to be irritating because it's usually about rather meaningless things. Or just about themselves, which turns me off completely from the conversation. People with large ego's are very repulsive to me.

I like to write my thoughts down rather than talk them out because I find I'm much more able to order my thoughts that way and think them through. Go back and change something around after I read it over. You can't do that in a conversation with someone. Once you say it, it's been said :D

I've always been a pretty introverted person though. Quiet and reserved. I listen to everything and everyone, to a fault. Maybe that's why I don't particularly like people who talk non-stop. I can't help but listen :)
 
ms_manic_minxx said:
I am a fan of making strange animal noises, personally. :twisted:
Click to expand...

If a pussycat/lioness sound is combined with the tongue in the check movement from about, that's sexy but a froggish sounds is just weird :d
 
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