Toxicity
Adam
Hello Nexus-goers,
First of all I can't describe the joy I felt when my friend showed me to this forum...
The first thread I encountered was one speculating upon dmt as a possible neurotransmitter and upon reading through it, I instantly felt at home... that I had finally found somewhere I can apply my intrigue, intelligence, experiences and theories and collaborate with others on the diverse range of subjects surrounding dmt, other dimensions, consciousness and life as a whole.
Unfortunately I come to you as an under-experienced user who has yet to experience a full breakthrough into hyperspace, I have tried on two separate occasions to breakthrough and have failed both times, due to timidity or rejection based on my state of mind and/or past indiscretions, or maybe even a combination of the both... I'm really not sure. However, these rejections/failed attempts have not only driven my curiosity for the sacredness of dmt and the psychedelic experience, but also driven me to better myself and my judgment and most importantly, broaden my perspective on life.
Day by day I am rapidly learning more and more about myself and the world around me, but am also confronted with barely explainable phenomena such as synchronicity, telepathy, clairvoyance and even what I perceive at this point to be, contact with 'other-worldly' entities/deities... as I learn more and begin to embrace that which was long bred out of me, these phenomena crop up more often, each instance more 'potent' than the last.
I have had a bit of a past with addictive drugs, including a reasonably short battle with psychosis which is a factor I must always take in to account when I try to interpret these experiences... "Am I going crazy again?" a question constantly on my mind, even through the most inspiring and truly beautiful experiences.
Though my psychosis was a truly terrifying experience, I soon came to realize that it was a vital part of my mental evolution in that it had broken me down to absolute nothingness and stripped me of all bias... prior to my psychosis I was an absent minded bigot, consumed by media propaganda and my damaged, over-compensating ego. But after my mind became broken, I then had the opportunity to put the pieces back together myself and the person that emerged from the ordeal was one filled with remorse, love and intrigue, a person with a mind begging to be opened and nurtured.
So here I am, I have finally found somewhere to expand my knowledge and develop m theory/philosophy with the support and understanding I need...
Thank you all, for dedicating yourselves to the exploration of the all, for being curious enough to ask why, for being here to share in this experience with each other.
I look forward to actively contributing where I can and hopefully one day, with the support of this community, have the breakthrough I seek.
First of all I can't describe the joy I felt when my friend showed me to this forum...
The first thread I encountered was one speculating upon dmt as a possible neurotransmitter and upon reading through it, I instantly felt at home... that I had finally found somewhere I can apply my intrigue, intelligence, experiences and theories and collaborate with others on the diverse range of subjects surrounding dmt, other dimensions, consciousness and life as a whole.
Unfortunately I come to you as an under-experienced user who has yet to experience a full breakthrough into hyperspace, I have tried on two separate occasions to breakthrough and have failed both times, due to timidity or rejection based on my state of mind and/or past indiscretions, or maybe even a combination of the both... I'm really not sure. However, these rejections/failed attempts have not only driven my curiosity for the sacredness of dmt and the psychedelic experience, but also driven me to better myself and my judgment and most importantly, broaden my perspective on life.
Day by day I am rapidly learning more and more about myself and the world around me, but am also confronted with barely explainable phenomena such as synchronicity, telepathy, clairvoyance and even what I perceive at this point to be, contact with 'other-worldly' entities/deities... as I learn more and begin to embrace that which was long bred out of me, these phenomena crop up more often, each instance more 'potent' than the last.
I have had a bit of a past with addictive drugs, including a reasonably short battle with psychosis which is a factor I must always take in to account when I try to interpret these experiences... "Am I going crazy again?" a question constantly on my mind, even through the most inspiring and truly beautiful experiences.
Though my psychosis was a truly terrifying experience, I soon came to realize that it was a vital part of my mental evolution in that it had broken me down to absolute nothingness and stripped me of all bias... prior to my psychosis I was an absent minded bigot, consumed by media propaganda and my damaged, over-compensating ego. But after my mind became broken, I then had the opportunity to put the pieces back together myself and the person that emerged from the ordeal was one filled with remorse, love and intrigue, a person with a mind begging to be opened and nurtured.
So here I am, I have finally found somewhere to expand my knowledge and develop m theory/philosophy with the support and understanding I need...
Thank you all, for dedicating yourselves to the exploration of the all, for being curious enough to ask why, for being here to share in this experience with each other.
I look forward to actively contributing where I can and hopefully one day, with the support of this community, have the breakthrough I seek.
