Welcome brother.

You will achieve your goal sooner than not.  Having to work for it and wait a bit only makes it that much more rewarding.

Having some dear friends who also went through mental health issues, I can sympathize somewhat with the stigma of having your very personal breakdown (break open) stigmatized and labeled as psychosis.  This is a heavy mind trip to overcome... and the fear and questioning it implants in your mind certainly might come up to bite you as you play in entheogenic waters.  Be strong and believe in yourself.

But also, never lose respect for the power of these substances.  Spice can make the strongest minds feel psychotic at times... especially if people aren't able to let go into, process, and integrate what this miraculous molecule can show you.

Anyway, all the best.  As far as DMT goes, if you can't find it here, it probably doesn't exist on the net.

Note: I would SERIOUSLY caution against using psychedelics in combination with most any mental health prescription meds.  Anti-psychotics, anxiolytics, anti-depressants and the like are absolute no-no's if you ever plan on taking ayahuasca or using harmalas.  I am not in a position to recommend that anyone discontinue any medication that their doctors felt compelled to prescribe for them... but I personally feel that the lot of those chems are worse than worthless anyway. 

Don't take my word about anything though.