Trickster said:
Although this is not in line with the thread topic, I would love to hear about your experience. I am familiar with all major psychedelics. I've also been practicing vipassana meditation for the last 2 years and would love to combine both practices.
I tried meditating with many psychedelics, including aya, many times but with little success. It's OK if the trip is light, but if things get serious I'am unable to concentrate on anything. The flood of thoughts and images is too overwhelming.
Interesting. I do it on some pretty high doses. 12 grams of acacia + 4 grams syrian rue is my preference, or 100 mg DMT + 200 mg harmine if taking pharmahuasca.
Well, I'll give you some details on my experience. When I began this practice, I had already been meditating 2 hours daily sober - one in the morning, one at night. I had been doing this for about a year or so, so I was already pretty familiar with it. As well, abstinence from masturbation and pornography (though not sex with other people), abstinence from social media and screen time generally, and a moderate diet low in sodium, sugar, spice, and grease seem to help. I don't find the pork/meat prohibitions make much of a difference - mostly just being on a moderate diet is what does the trick for me. I work by experience, not folklore.
Now, when I first started meditating with ayahuasca, I did not meditate it in a manner that was quite "traditional", because I used a blindfold while Buddhism advocates open-eyed meditation (I used the "mindfold" Alex Grey sells on his website). What I found, was that I had to put at least 2 hours in a single sitting on ayahuasca to have a transformative experience - I now do 3 hours. At first, it does not seem very different from normal meditation, aside from the fact that you're blasted on ayahuasca, which can be distracting. But if you continue to focus, somewhere around the 60-90 minute mark,
it changes. Being centered on breathing stops being a matter of effort, and it becomes effortless. This is usually preceded by mind going, "fuck, let's just give up and go listen to some tunes". This still happens even now! And I welcome it, because I look square at that impulse to distraction, and I think, "let's see you tire yourself out". And it does. Just wait, continuing breathing, and it dies away, and you're left fully present - and the visions go wild.
I have seen geometric constructs that I did not know I was capable of imagining, and it is the most healing experience I have ever encountered. Ayahuasca is healing on its own, but this is something else entirely. It is consistently reliable and repeatable, which is amazing, because I had never before known a way to make the transcendent happen reliably. It fixes the parts in my psyche that are broken, patterns that are frayed, habits that need to be burned away, etc. And a lot of the time, I do not even understand what the import of the visions are - nor do I need to really know, I just know that in some way I might not even understand, they are helping me in my meditative and spiritual progress. I have seen dark things, I have seen cathedrals of light and stained glass, I have seen palaces of jewels, and I frequently (spontaneously) speak in tongues when it reaches a peak (which also feels pretty healing, though I sound like a maniac). A friend of mine who speaks in tongues when smoking DMT says that he actually utters worlds when he is on the "other side". Personally, speaking in tongues makes me feel like I'm strengthening neural connections/de-fragging my brain/establishing a dial-up signal with the DMT world, strengthening my connection to it.
The trick, when dealing with these experiences in meditation, is to not get wrapped up in the visions, but always remain with the thread of breath. It does all of the work, you do not do anything intentional or volitional. You're just a passenger. Remain with equanimity, whether it is dark or light, it all arises and passes away as is necessary. The breath does the work.
Essentially, keep at it. Work. Do not give up. And seriously - at least 2 hours sitting. Do not budge. Fuck it, let the mind scream at the hours. You are waiting for that screaming to tire itself out - and it will. I no longer always use a blindfold, simply because Buddhism teaches you should have your eyes open, but when I first began, it probably helped me avoid distractions. I don't need it for that anymore, but I still sometimes use it just because I'll have clearer visions. So, you might want to try adding that. And build up a dedicated meditation practice outside drug use too. Do at least 1 hour a day (in a single sitting, none of that half hour stuff), preferably 2 hours (in separate 1 hour sittings, unless you really want to push yourself), consistently, for at least a few months. This practice is one of the greatest discoveries I have ever made, right next to the G-spot.