I missed this thread until now. Rocket, it's great to see you on the road to healing, and this entire thread is composed of solid advice pretty much. That's great you're getting your technique down and learning your way into and around hyperspace.
I'm very interested in what you're doing because I've done/am doing something quite similar. I came to this place through several 5meo DMT experiences and i currently work with freebase spice. I have found incredible benefits from this for my depression and anxiety- as you say they tend to vanish and stay gone for a good period of time after a trip; and I've found that it's helped me understand myself and my place in this universe- a certain spiritual foundation not based on faith but experience.
It's the latter that has allowed me to push through some extremely hard times since i began this walk. Even so, I'd never go back to where i was. As hard as it's been, i really don't even like to think about what the limited possibilities are of where my life would be at this moment had i not received that first little vial. Not pretty, i assure you.
I wish you the happiest of trails my friend. DMT has showed me many great and wonderful things, it has tested me beyond my greatest conception, torn me asunder and made me whole again with loving hands. It has shown me that i am a manifestation of the universal creative force, which is moving through time trying to understand itself, and that while it's all so damn important to me, nothing really matters. It has shown me something outside of my self. It has allowed me to be able to look into my wounds, once they had been torn open by reality, and to see that all that ugliness isn't even mine. It has given me the ability to love me, and continues to push that agenda through all my self doubt and delusion driven insecurity.
I'm not sure, for the DIYer that you sound to be , it's proven a pretty swell tool in my toolbox. It has even become more versatile as I've come to know it and learn various dosing routines and roa's. While i agree with many of the others that for your (and my) particular flavor of madness, it may not be the first one that comes to mind to uncover deep rooted issues that cause debilitating symptoms,but the use of this fantastic molecule will challenge you to stay the same f###ed up loser you were at the beginning.
That's great on the psilocybin too, that's my next stop. I'm working towards some facilitated sessions with a professional once my life is a little more manageable and i don't have so many snakes squirming around on my plate (how's that for mixing metaphors?). If you're producing them, perhaps you would be interested in a micro dosing regimen. I knows several people who take .2 gm dried mushroom dust in caps/each day and report great success. I tried a different routine of closer to .5-.75 gm once a week to biweekly to great effect.
Please, keep us updated on your progress, successes, stumbles and all. Be good to you, man. Or as i heard someone say recently, F@%K PAIN, LOVE!
