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sphere of reflective lies?

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Mr Fantasy

Mr Fantasy

Rising Star
I just posted this as a follow up to my introduction essay but may belong in this tread.
So here is my last journey.

I just went to Chicago for the weekend for lollapalooza. Some of my favorite bands were playing it.
Well I ended up going by myself because my two friends bailed on me for of money reasons. But I had a friend that lived in the area that I met up with Sat night.
Well I took Friday as an opportunity for some self exploration. I had my machine.
My had checked into a very nice new hotel about 5 blocks from Grant Park. The room very nice and artsy with all the modern foo foo hotel stuff. It also was on the 20th floor and had a great view of the city and park.
After the show Friday night I went back to the hotel to start my journey.
I don't know whats going on now but one click of the torch lighter now and its lift off.
At first everything went crooked as usual and I looked out the window and the buildings were zigzag, I brick wall in the distance turned to beings crawling all over each other.

That's when I shut my eyes, I saw females dancing with their locks flowing in a gold tunnel of light. Then it all got really fast and I was sent down the tunnel in a blur and for a brief second it was just me (or nothing at all) inside this orb that was all mirror and bright light just reflecting into eternity. Then I was sucked out and I saw all of history in a instant. I felt my heart again and forced open my eyes to find everything still off around me (flat colors and crooked objects). As I came back to this reality over the next couple minutes, all I could think is none of this is real and I am made up, just a perception of time. There is no other there is no me, just a perception of reality to keep infinity entertained.

I am still not sure what to think about the whole thing, at first I felt very sad, I felt as if I was hoping I was going crazy and it was just my mind tricking me. But then started to embrace it and try to enjoy the rest of my weekend as it was always in the back of my head. Thinking what does it matter, it is all I have ever know to be real so deal with it.

Now six days later must of it has started to fade, and back to this reality. I am not sure I will be using the spice again after that. I have never had the communication with others on my journeys like other people on this board, only visions of others and no communication. I wish I did because then maybe I would not feel as if there is nothing and reality is just the game of nothing.

The weird thing is, I looked up what I was thinking after I came down and found,this set of vids called Leap!
. Talk about a mind fuck.

If anyone has some insight or has been in this spot, help me out if you can.
 
Also I would like to add, the next day it seemed like I noticed a glitch in reality. Like a repeat of a second in time. then I started to think about deja vu stuff, I had 3 of those this past weekend.
I also started to think that time is creating itself in both directions, like as you live in this reality you learn about history before you as time goes on, how do you know you are not inventing history. Man I wish I had a guide of some sort. I want to try spice again just to show me more, and that my last vision was only a trick.
Everything smells and tastes different to me now, I am not sure what happened but I want to just enjoy the ride the best I can.

I just hope I am not going schizo or something, I don't have any family history.
LSD and shrooms are like chocholate milk to me compaired to spice.
 
There is a Kabalistic notion of "The Aleph," which is all of space and time focused on a single point. Jorge Luis Borges wrote a short story about the concept. You can take the advice of the protagonist, and try to document your experience and interface with "The Aleph."

In my opinion, you just need some time off to reflect. I wouldn't recommend jumping right back into the spice flash in a search for answers to that one specific trip.
 
wow, I had never heard of this, but after reading about it just now, it was spot on from what I saw. kabbalah of all things, lol. I thought modonna and britney were nuts. I really need to set up my video cam for when I come to and just start spilling everything I learned before I forget the details.

I am taking a break for a bit. Only red wine and cheese for the next couple weeks. I need time to reflect and prepare for the next journey.
 
the insights you have under the influence of spice are not necessarily absolutes. you can interpret them many ways. don't get distraught by philosophical concerns about nothingness.

if the experience made you feel negative and you want to try again try to have some intention for going to that realm. ask yourself what you want to learn set up a ritual by making a comfortable setting. after a heavy day of music and partying spicing it up might not always be so easy to handle. take some time to get ready to go there again and it may be more beneficial.

also don't be dissapointed because you don't communicate with other beings. its all in your head anyway (in my opinion). theres much more then just aliens to learn from in that place.
 
Thanks burnt, I am trying to look at it that way, most of my feelings I had have went away. It was just all so real. I had a similar vision on salvia and N2O about a year ago that set me straight for a long while, so it was a bit unsettling seeing the same thing but much clearer with spice.
 
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