I have been working my dose steadily upwards over the last 2 or 3 weeks. I started with a few mgs, then did 10mg a few times until I got really comfortable with the sensations and effects. Everytime I went, I received welcoming messages and invitations to come back with the assurance nothing bad would happen.
So last night I did my usual 10mg, had a few minor visuals and though I'd just goto bed. Before I knew it, I had put 30mg in the bowl (Im using freebase in a bubbler with 4 screens, this is working very well for me) and took it all in one big hit. I cant explain how this all seemed automatic, like my body was on autopilot packing and hitting a pipe. Maybe I just pushed all fears and doubts and second guessings and said "just do it already"
So I blow out this huge hit after a few seconds and thought it was a misfire. I layed there with my eyes open, but a wave of tingling came over me and I closed them. I was listening to a piano concerto and my last thought was of how beautiful it was. Slowly, the music became very tinny and withdrew until I could no longer hear it. I did not hear a carrier wave. Before I knew it, I was flowing through a space made of flowing reds, yellows and purples, and I remember myself inviting them in. This is when the space started pulling me and different configurations of the space seemed to be flying in from out of my perception to take their place in helping the others pull me through. They were quite one minded in this endevour, and said nothing to me. I felt that these were a special "transport" mechnanism and had nothing to say. I had a strange sensation of my consciousness being pushed aside to make room for an alien presence. I though to my self "Im still here, dont worry" But "I" had no relevance, everything in my mind was void. I felt it was better to maintain a state of clear mind instead of ponder what was happening. I did feel the urge to totally flip out and had a few seconds of fear, but was able to keep it together.
My body was almost totally dissolved but not enough catalyst was smoked, and I was returned. The transporters left and I was on my bed, looking at the intense LSD like visuals. Coming so close to breakthrough and aborting was not very pleasant. I was very disorientated and dissapointed. I went outside and had a cigarette and watched a bush turn into fractal reproductions of itself until the visuals tapered off.
All in all, not bad, but I think I may be better off with a caapi changa for a slower takeoff. Either that, or smoke 2 hits freebase. Now that I am used to the intensity of the transport, I feel more ready to attempt breakthrough doses. My girlfriend broke through on her 3rd time, but Id like to take my jolly time with this and wade slowly in. I screwed up with LSD and shrooms in the past, and am trying to reverse all the (perceived) damage Ive done to my mind with them. I forgot to show shrooms and acid the respect they deserved, and I am not making that mistake with the spice.
So last night I did my usual 10mg, had a few minor visuals and though I'd just goto bed. Before I knew it, I had put 30mg in the bowl (Im using freebase in a bubbler with 4 screens, this is working very well for me) and took it all in one big hit. I cant explain how this all seemed automatic, like my body was on autopilot packing and hitting a pipe. Maybe I just pushed all fears and doubts and second guessings and said "just do it already"
So I blow out this huge hit after a few seconds and thought it was a misfire. I layed there with my eyes open, but a wave of tingling came over me and I closed them. I was listening to a piano concerto and my last thought was of how beautiful it was. Slowly, the music became very tinny and withdrew until I could no longer hear it. I did not hear a carrier wave. Before I knew it, I was flowing through a space made of flowing reds, yellows and purples, and I remember myself inviting them in. This is when the space started pulling me and different configurations of the space seemed to be flying in from out of my perception to take their place in helping the others pull me through. They were quite one minded in this endevour, and said nothing to me. I felt that these were a special "transport" mechnanism and had nothing to say. I had a strange sensation of my consciousness being pushed aside to make room for an alien presence. I though to my self "Im still here, dont worry" But "I" had no relevance, everything in my mind was void. I felt it was better to maintain a state of clear mind instead of ponder what was happening. I did feel the urge to totally flip out and had a few seconds of fear, but was able to keep it together.
My body was almost totally dissolved but not enough catalyst was smoked, and I was returned. The transporters left and I was on my bed, looking at the intense LSD like visuals. Coming so close to breakthrough and aborting was not very pleasant. I was very disorientated and dissapointed. I went outside and had a cigarette and watched a bush turn into fractal reproductions of itself until the visuals tapered off.
All in all, not bad, but I think I may be better off with a caapi changa for a slower takeoff. Either that, or smoke 2 hits freebase. Now that I am used to the intensity of the transport, I feel more ready to attempt breakthrough doses. My girlfriend broke through on her 3rd time, but Id like to take my jolly time with this and wade slowly in. I screwed up with LSD and shrooms in the past, and am trying to reverse all the (perceived) damage Ive done to my mind with them. I forgot to show shrooms and acid the respect they deserved, and I am not making that mistake with the spice.
