we can all agree that you simply never know what you're gonna get each time you light that genie...
in my last post, i tried to touch on the fact that lately, i HAVE been somewhat able to know... like a story that continues to pick up where it last left off, a definite, structured experience complete with an all-pervasive message of awakening and transformation has been running for a while now and it's had me both captivated and confused.
thank god i have you guys to help me work through it is all i have to say!
so i'm at the park today and i have two very important points of focus:
1) to go extremely deep. uncharted territory deep. take me a fair amount of time to know this world when i return to it deep.
2) to experience #1 in the hopes of perhaps going 'beyond' the recurring experience i've been involved in. to see if a connection even more profound might be possible.
here's what i found:
i vaporized more DMT that i have since my brithday (70mg). i completely disintegrated and became pure light. my ego died completely and yet....
and yet...
i. as in, me. i observed everything from a vantage of omnipresence. i witnessed all that was happening as an eternal aspect of an infinite source. i simply was. no time. no space.
i have been here before. i will return. the experience of stillness was what i can only imagine an enlightened being deep in samadhi experiences. no things. no duality. no messages. the most peaceful, tranquil, eternal moment.
the truest bliss.
i have not had such a utterly rapturous experience in some time.
to measure it in earth time, it was probably a good 30 minutes (had taken 30 mg. sublingual caapi copy a half hour beforehand). my soul, however, would argue that it had just experienced an eternity.
here's where things get peculiar.... :shock:
there was no moment of snapping back into awareness. at some particular moment, the still nothingness became a craft and once again i was there with the 'other ones'. the message i was immediately met with was one of celebration and joy. in a clear transmission of a carrier wave i now became aware of (was it not there in the stillness?), i was told the following:
the stillness is the essence of all. it is the oneness from which all things come and return. even these entities themselves knew this great light. their highly evolved culture included an equally highly evolved sprituality in that their relationship to this light/source was clearer. as if they were simply more clear on what it was or were just more comfortable with it in general.
either way, what came next was a true gift...
as if god were a boa constrictor made of warm, loving light, i was crushed in the most delicious squeeze that, like a great rush of ocean onto the shore, immediately swept me away again. ego and all. it was almost like ayahuasca in the tide-like flow. one minute kinda here, then with a rush....long gone again....
what i saw was indescribable. truly. light, color, detail beyond detail, beings, faces, toys, glyphs.....almost as if EVERYTHING i'd ever seen in hyperspace was having a surprise party for me and decided to stuff themselves into one room. the visual spectacle was too much. sensory overload. if i was aware of my body at the time, i would almost guarantee you all that my mouth was wide open enough for me to park my prius in there.
i'm completely tractor-beamed by this onslaught of visual overload....faces are morphing into jack-in-the-boxes that are lined with shiny metallic ribbons...hands are reaching out and fingers are curling in a beckoning manner....i'm lost in this massive mindfuck. i'm not afraid at all....simple devoured by it.
in an instant a face is in front of me and it's got a winking eye and a funny, plastic sheen to it. a hand erupts right at me and i'm flipped the bird! the spirt of it was hilarious and in that very same instant i am pulled up off the ground where i lay and snapped into the most prisitne meditative posture this side of a zen rohatsu retreat. back perfectly erect. thumb to forefinger mudras on both hands. one hand in my lap, one hand presenting forth. it is the most glorious feeling my body has ever known.
it was a test. a lesson. immediately i understand and focus myself on the center of this visual free for all. i observe none of it. it is still going on full-tilt but i am no longer observant of any of it.
"there ARE other dimensions of experience. other consciousness. other intelligences" , i am told. "beyond all of them there is a oneness. a great oneness that all are a part of."
i have had a similar lesson a while back where i was told that even in hyperspace, the goal was to be empty and still. in the midst of all this profoundly dynamic visual and psychedelic stimulus, at some point the goal would be to find stillness and quiet....that if i could see beyond the fireworks the molecule would be able to amplify and greatly aid me in quieting and focussing my receiver (ie: mind).
i am still deeply moved by this. it is nothing new really. the abilities of DMT to 'change frequencies' and experience other consciousness...and even deeper still, a oneness of all that is...well, let's just say one can work on truly anything in hyperspace.
when i returned, impossiblemachine was sitting next to me. he knew i was working in the park and silently came and sat as sentinel by my side. dear friend...dear brother...
this was a beautiful lesson for me. no need to really 'process' much...it was as clear as day. even in other dimensions, the ability to be empty and still grants profound access to source. i feel like through DMT, i was just able to meditate the way a spirtually advanced being meditates. as if i got to experience the nirvana, the satori, the heaven, the oneness that every great enlightened being has spoken of.
it's funny...when i first started working with DMT, I used to use the term DEEP MEDITATION THERAPY as a sort of secret code name....
guess the joke's on me...
WITH THE DEEPEST LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
in my last post, i tried to touch on the fact that lately, i HAVE been somewhat able to know... like a story that continues to pick up where it last left off, a definite, structured experience complete with an all-pervasive message of awakening and transformation has been running for a while now and it's had me both captivated and confused.
thank god i have you guys to help me work through it is all i have to say!
so i'm at the park today and i have two very important points of focus:
1) to go extremely deep. uncharted territory deep. take me a fair amount of time to know this world when i return to it deep.
2) to experience #1 in the hopes of perhaps going 'beyond' the recurring experience i've been involved in. to see if a connection even more profound might be possible.
here's what i found:
i vaporized more DMT that i have since my brithday (70mg). i completely disintegrated and became pure light. my ego died completely and yet....
and yet...
i. as in, me. i observed everything from a vantage of omnipresence. i witnessed all that was happening as an eternal aspect of an infinite source. i simply was. no time. no space.
i have been here before. i will return. the experience of stillness was what i can only imagine an enlightened being deep in samadhi experiences. no things. no duality. no messages. the most peaceful, tranquil, eternal moment.
the truest bliss.
i have not had such a utterly rapturous experience in some time.
to measure it in earth time, it was probably a good 30 minutes (had taken 30 mg. sublingual caapi copy a half hour beforehand). my soul, however, would argue that it had just experienced an eternity.
here's where things get peculiar.... :shock:
there was no moment of snapping back into awareness. at some particular moment, the still nothingness became a craft and once again i was there with the 'other ones'. the message i was immediately met with was one of celebration and joy. in a clear transmission of a carrier wave i now became aware of (was it not there in the stillness?), i was told the following:
the stillness is the essence of all. it is the oneness from which all things come and return. even these entities themselves knew this great light. their highly evolved culture included an equally highly evolved sprituality in that their relationship to this light/source was clearer. as if they were simply more clear on what it was or were just more comfortable with it in general.
either way, what came next was a true gift...
as if god were a boa constrictor made of warm, loving light, i was crushed in the most delicious squeeze that, like a great rush of ocean onto the shore, immediately swept me away again. ego and all. it was almost like ayahuasca in the tide-like flow. one minute kinda here, then with a rush....long gone again....
what i saw was indescribable. truly. light, color, detail beyond detail, beings, faces, toys, glyphs.....almost as if EVERYTHING i'd ever seen in hyperspace was having a surprise party for me and decided to stuff themselves into one room. the visual spectacle was too much. sensory overload. if i was aware of my body at the time, i would almost guarantee you all that my mouth was wide open enough for me to park my prius in there.
i'm completely tractor-beamed by this onslaught of visual overload....faces are morphing into jack-in-the-boxes that are lined with shiny metallic ribbons...hands are reaching out and fingers are curling in a beckoning manner....i'm lost in this massive mindfuck. i'm not afraid at all....simple devoured by it.
in an instant a face is in front of me and it's got a winking eye and a funny, plastic sheen to it. a hand erupts right at me and i'm flipped the bird! the spirt of it was hilarious and in that very same instant i am pulled up off the ground where i lay and snapped into the most prisitne meditative posture this side of a zen rohatsu retreat. back perfectly erect. thumb to forefinger mudras on both hands. one hand in my lap, one hand presenting forth. it is the most glorious feeling my body has ever known.
it was a test. a lesson. immediately i understand and focus myself on the center of this visual free for all. i observe none of it. it is still going on full-tilt but i am no longer observant of any of it.
"there ARE other dimensions of experience. other consciousness. other intelligences" , i am told. "beyond all of them there is a oneness. a great oneness that all are a part of."
i have had a similar lesson a while back where i was told that even in hyperspace, the goal was to be empty and still. in the midst of all this profoundly dynamic visual and psychedelic stimulus, at some point the goal would be to find stillness and quiet....that if i could see beyond the fireworks the molecule would be able to amplify and greatly aid me in quieting and focussing my receiver (ie: mind).
i am still deeply moved by this. it is nothing new really. the abilities of DMT to 'change frequencies' and experience other consciousness...and even deeper still, a oneness of all that is...well, let's just say one can work on truly anything in hyperspace.
when i returned, impossiblemachine was sitting next to me. he knew i was working in the park and silently came and sat as sentinel by my side. dear friend...dear brother...
this was a beautiful lesson for me. no need to really 'process' much...it was as clear as day. even in other dimensions, the ability to be empty and still grants profound access to source. i feel like through DMT, i was just able to meditate the way a spirtually advanced being meditates. as if i got to experience the nirvana, the satori, the heaven, the oneness that every great enlightened being has spoken of.
it's funny...when i first started working with DMT, I used to use the term DEEP MEDITATION THERAPY as a sort of secret code name....
guess the joke's on me...
WITH THE DEEPEST LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
