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antrocles

antrocles

Rising Star
OG Pioneer
now here's a first...

firstly, i do apologize that i have been so inactive for too long now. i find myself these days going through a rather stupendous metamorphosis...one that has me making such huge leaps, i seem to be able to do very little other than work, meditate, go to church and sleep...

i've reached a point where i have no more words to even begin recanting the journeys. i get annoyed somewhat with this limited form of communication called 'words'. a lot of time has been spent simply trying to BE. the truth- it has been blissful. i have more gratitude for my state of being than i was ever even aware i was capable of having.

i am a firm believer in the growth potential of DMT. i am the guy in the camp of 'those who beieve DMT can righteously shift the consciousness of this planet.' i believe so many things with something deeper than my heart now. i have so many ways that i experience this world differently now....all of which positively enhance this temporary event called 'life on earth.' this amazing teacher has not only changed my life, it has birthed an entirely new one. like a 90-degree right-hander at mach 8...

..but i'm having a hard time trying to write about any of it. it's overwhelming in the best possible way...but still overwhelming. something tells me i might not come back (or at least stay back) from costa rica. my path seems to be pulling me down it now. i'm quite at peace with this prospect...

well...that's the catch-up. now for the meat o' the sandwich..

i had a journey today that was a bit unique. i took an undeniable breakthrough dose (actually had to pass through a tiny bit of fear to take as much as i did!) and lay back to die...

it came on quickly but not jarringly. like a pin-hole in the distance expanding into the fabric of hyperspace which consumed my field of mental vision. it felt like watching an atom bomb go off in the distance and simply facing the rapidly approaching light. as it reached the 'me' i had decided was...well...ME...i had already surrendered to being assimilated.

it was ecstatic...but then...the visual experience just went away. i was in an interesting space. i was in my body but i was not. i was in darkness but i was not. i was in a place of completely unknown border. some have defined their hyperspace experience like this, but this place was unique for me. it was complete nothingness but it had a palpability.

see what i mean about being overwhelmed and having a hard time writing?.. :?

anyways... i was in this space and i was simply being in it. memories of sensory-deprivation tanks come to mind here. it was like being underwater in an ocean you have NO IDEA the parameters of. truly in the middle of mystery...

...and then i heard the carrier wave...s... :surprised

like whale-song only with an almost understandable quality. it was like being on a cosmic taffy-puller. one tone would pull my consciousness out into a universe and then another would dramatically change my tranjectory and off i would go towards another universe. it felt like i was being sharply yanked into geometric shapes. like drawing a star on a piece of paper...i was the lead of your pencil and the line it left behind....

i was completely bathed in tones of carrier waves. nothing visual. nothing. i came out of it feeling like i had just been reprogrammed. like something had just entered a passcode into my brain that opened some previously restricted sector. i was walking around all-day today feeling like i had two hearts and four lungs. the energy of a football team in one 6'2" man's body.

something happened to me you guys... :shock:

i really felt different, no joke. i got home and decided to vaporize some beautiful cannibis i have and here's where things get interesting... i proceed to vaporize A LOT. like- a good 50% more than i usually vaporize to get EXTREMELY HIGH. i wanted to get really stoned because i wanted to meditate with the cannibis helping me to focus. i wanted to go really deep, to see if i could tap into something perhaps that dmt journey had opened up.

nothing. nada. not even a hint of a red-eye. i walked around the house for a while waiting for it to come on but it never did!? naturally, i go back to the vaporizer and double my efforts.

STILL NADA!! WAAATHAAAAFAAAA????

so here i sit. stone-cold straight instead of straight cold-stoned. i've never experienced anything like this. i have no idea if my spice work and this event are related or what, but i have never vaped the better part of a gram of dank sativa and had NO effect whatsoever... i'm a bit at a loss here..

any ideas?

much love and gratitude!!
 
First thing that comes to mind for me is that a lot of shaman recommend NOT smoking weed for a bit of time before the ceremony.

Maybe it's the cosmos' way of telling you to wait until you return from your trip before partaking in the herb.
 
Hi antrocles,

Wow, 'tis the season for old members to come back and new members to join at the Nexus. Happy New Year bro - sounds like you are in for some interesting times.

Great and amazing report as always. I think I know about that space of complete, palpable nothingness.

Anyway, given the type of experience, I'd say you did a great job of putting it into words.

Why didn't weed work + you felt completely reprogrammed reminds me of Ibogaine experiences. How interesting. Should you choose to use weed again anytime soon, I wonder if you will achieve the desired effects? I wonder if it will stick until the next trip . . . ?

Fascinating as always . . . :d
 
Melodic Catastrophe said:
First thing that comes to mind for me is that a lot of shaman recommend NOT smoking weed for a bit of time before the ceremony.

Maybe it's the cosmos' way of telling you to wait until you return from your trip before partaking in the herb.
Click to expand...


It sounded like he was vaping the weed AFTER "the ceremony" and it sounded like he had returned. My advice would simply to vape some weed tomorrow and if you still can't get stoned, let us know.
 
yes indeed. weed was post-journey. no workie.

gobalswg- i am going to proceed along your line of reasoning. i will report my findings. i'm still in a bit of a stupor trying to get my head around such an interesting phenomenon....

pandora- hey sister!! so happy to see you back! you were missed... :)

L&G
 
Wow. This is really interesting.

First off -- I didn't realize what a great writer you were, antrocles. This is good stuff.

Secondly, this report in some way reminds me of the polar opposite of my "abiogenesis" DMT experience (posted here as well). This quote describes exactly how I felt coming out of the breakthrough:

antrocles said:
i came out of it feeling like i had just been reprogrammed. like something had just entered a passcode into my brain that opened some previously restricted sector.
Click to expand...

BUT, rather than diminishing the effect of cannabis, it amplified it tenfold, making one large bowl of smoked cannabis buds even more powerful in some ways than the strongest LSD trip I've ever had.



DMT isn't a drug that temporarily fucks around with your serotonin receptors. It's really a KEY to something we won't ever truly understand...
 
Awesome man, awesome. I also feel that dmt, and psychedelics in general have the potential to lift the human spirit. All thinngs flow from the spirit. If people's spirits are in a good place, what manifests on the outside will be good. Happy people are productive people.
 
Cannabis can be a deceptively negative tool. For two years I was a daily smoker. I know that's probably not as long as some other people but it still had MAJOR effects on my life. It lures me in with promises of great feelings and insight with negligible negative side effects. However these side effects can build over time to something quite debilitating and counter-productive (depression, complete lack of motivation).

Recently I have quit all cannabis intake, I'm going on about 2 weeks now without any. Hands down, best decision I've made in awhile.
I have twice the energy, my body/face actually look alive for once instead of half alseep all the time, and most importantly I'm starting to care about my personal health again on a full level.
Cannabis actually screwed around with my diet to the point I'd be to lazy to make food haha:shock:. Needless to say I ate a lot of junk.

I should also mention I'm finally recovered from the flu I had during this period as well, so the pure water diet probably helped a lot with the cleansing.

antrocles are you a daily cannabis smoker? If so perhaps this is a message from your body that it's time to move on? I'm definitely no Cannabis hater, and can still see some times where it can be useful, but anything daily has it's negative tolls after awhile. Being half asleep all the time really caused me to miss out on a lot.
 
Antrocles. That was an inspiring post. I don't exactly know why it moved me so much, but it did. Gave me chills. The seeming depth of your conviction hit me pretty hard. The simple: "something happened to me you guys... " really got me. Maybe you are just a really good writer, but that post touched me. Thanks.

On cannabis:
I go through about a gram of cannabis a month, maybe, and I'm starting to think even that small amount is too much for me. I've been noticing an increase in anxiety on the days after I vaporize. It seems that every time I even get close to hyperspace my desire to use cannabis decreases as do the immediate effects of the substance. It just seems to make me sleepy (which is useful) and edgy the next day (which is not helpful).

Also: I had a recent changa experience and afterwards I just sort of stopped smoking tobacco, without even thinking about it. It had been 2 days before I realized I hadn't had a cigarette. Then I was thinking... hmmm, I should buy a pack of smokes, but I never got around to it. It's been 4 days. Odd. I don't know if it has anything to do with the changa or not, but it's interesting to me.

Caffeine is starting to look pretty useless and detrimental too.

anyway, thanks again for the great post. Makes me want to have a journey soon.
 
i have a very healthy relationship with cannibis. i've used it my whole life but for the past 6 years i have used it almost daily. it seems to synergize with me in a way that it doesn't with many others and i have theories on why this is.

for me, it's all about having profound respect for this grossly underrated medicine... if one simply smokes weed with no intent, no agenda, no clarity of WHAT the energy of cannibis is going to be used FOR, then one runs the high risk of having it's energy work in a counter-productive manner.

for me, i have won state and national titles, set world records, created a thriving business and all other things in my life that the outside world deems "good and productive" all while deeply in alignment with cannibis' spirit. it is the one thing that enabled me to completely rid my life of anti-depressants and synthetic, pharmaceutical question-marks and return to a natural life.

in a conversation i had with my sister, i just stated without even thinking about it, "maybe i'm evolving and my frequency is in some sort of in-between place that cannibis helps me to normalize at." whatever the situation, i am one seriously high-functioning stoner...

that being said, the medicine definitely lets me know when it's time to take a break. i didn't work with it for nearly three months at the end of this season (drug testing at the big year-end events). i was fine with this and knew i would resume in good time. i have nothing but respect for all medicines i work with and cannibis is no different. actually, since i began working with DMT, cannibis has truly become a profoundly deeper experience for me.

melodic catastrophe- i'm not saying you're wrong, but i did live with a santo daime community for a spell on the big island of hawaii and the maestre of this community was a huge believer in what they called "santa maria" (cannibis). he and all he guided were firm believers that cannibis was a powerful ally and helped it's students recall and process the deep teachings and awakenings that the yage had bestowed.

electric.sight- sounds like your relationship with cannibis was not a healthy one and it is best that you ended it. for me, i am not 'half-asleep' while working with this sacred herb. i am half-awakened. and if i use it much as the shivan monks do and harness it's incredible focus-enhancing ability to MEDITATE....well....then i'm that much closer to being FULLY-awakened.

to know me is to know that i have no addictive nature in me. i am quite possibly the most disciplined individual most of you will ever meet. i work with things, use things, try things, etc...all with the very acute awareness of "how does this help me?" if i can't provide an honest, unequivocal answer, i stop my relationship with that thing.

it's all about intent. purity of intent, purity of exectution, purity of experience. i said that long ago and i believe it with all my hearts still. ;)

and so- that being said- i'm about to do a 4 hour training ride that will begin with a goodly vaporizing session and the preemptive prayers and thanks i give to the cannibis i will be working with. to loop back to my OP, i will let you guys know when i return if my cannibis receptors are back up and firing....

...and i'm STILL reeling from that carrier-wave bath yesterday....seriously.... :shock:

L&G!!
 
antrocles said:
electric.sight- sounds like your relationship with cannibis was not a healthy one and it is best that you ended it. for me, i am not 'half-asleep' while working with this sacred herb. i am half-awakened. and if i use it much as the shivan monks do and harness it's incredible focus-enhancing ability to MEDITATE....well....then i'm that much closer to being FULLY-awakened.
Click to expand...
What you describe as "half-awakened" I describe as "half-asleep". Its this constant state of meditation in which I speak of as being asleep. Meditation is useful indeed but when it's happening all the time in my case at least it's counter-productive.

Being active doesn't really change the fact that pot is a sedative. In literal terms, it puts us to sleep. You seem to be able to juggle pot and a productive lifestyle pretty well, but could it be that you're just a very productive person, be it stoned or sober?

I mean no offense here so forgive me if I offend, but if you require pot to be awakened and productive, that's starting to sound like addiction. Could you achieve the same without pot? I'm willing to bet you could:wink:
 
I would consider stopping smoking pot, at least for a while and see where it leads... Or try cooking something with it?
 
Electric.Sight said:
antrocles said:
electric.sight- sounds like your relationship with cannibis was not a healthy one and it is best that you ended it. for me, i am not 'half-asleep' while working with this sacred herb. i am half-awakened. and if i use it much as the shivan monks do and harness it's incredible focus-enhancing ability to MEDITATE....well....then i'm that much closer to being FULLY-awakened.
Click to expand...
What you describe as "half-awakened" I describe as "half-asleep". Its this constant state of meditation in which I speak of as being asleep. Meditation is useful indeed but when it's happening all the time in my case at least it's counter-productive.

Being active doesn't really change the fact that pot is a sedative. In literal terms, it puts us to sleep. You seem to be able to juggle pot and a productive lifestyle pretty well, but could it be that you're just a very productive person, be it stoned or sober?

I mean no offense here so forgive me if I offend, but if you require pot to be awakened and productive, that's starting to sound like addiction. Could you achieve the same without pot? I'm willing to bet you could:wink:
Click to expand...


I think you're projecting on antrocles and everyone else the way pot affects you. Just because it has certain tendencies doesn't mean that people will react the same way to it as you or your friends do. Personally I've seen both sides to it. It's interesting that as antrocles noted that when I set out to do something and get high first, it usually gives me a certain energy and concentration to do it as opposed to when I smoke simply to get high, I find myself getting rather sleepy.
 
Pot definitely enhances my senses and gives me energy as long as I'm freshly stoned. I'm talking about the objective fact that pot IS a sedative. Sedatives prevent the mind from functioning at full capacity. That's fact. Not unique to me, pot sedates everyone.

I love pot, no pot hating going on here, I'll definitely smoke again when the times right. When someone tells me they've been smoking daily for 6 years to me that sounds like addiction. Can antrocles live with this and continue to have positive results? Most definitely.
All I'm suggesting is when you go 6 years of near daily use, how do you know it's best?

Pot can be a very useful tool. In my case and many if not most others, when any tool is used daily it starts to have negative repercussions.

So it's clear antrocles gets positive effects from pot, is it clear that he wouldn't be getting even more positive effects without it daily?
 
Not making a strong correlation, but reminds one of a story retold by Ram Das ... when Ramana Maharshi asked him about his LSD and selected himself a very high dose which resulted in no obvious effects on the psyche of the sage. Perhaps a strong 'reset' type journey locks in a (hopefully improved) level of consciousness for a bit - not allowing alteration for a bit.

Peace

EDIT: Perhaps, if this was a transcending experience, 'you' will no longer have the synergy you speak of ... cant expect things to stay the same when they are changing. :)
 
great points- all of you! thank you so much for the varying views on this situation.

there have been discussions not unlike this one more than a few times over the years here. even last year a brother had started a thread about having a bad habit going with cannibis. i told him i would commit to a month without using it in solidarity if he committed to it. he did and so did i. it was great and i learned a lot about my relationship with marijuana during that 30 day respite.

#1. i learned that i am not addicted physically or mentally to this medicine. i simply feel a very comfortable shift in my level of experience when i imbibe. my energy is not greater or lesser. my would-be depression that i felt i was suffering from back in the day never returned during the entire time. i knew that i didn't 'need' cannibis.

#2. i certainly felt that i was a little more scattered and less present in many of my activities/interactions. the ego certainly was more noticeable and the interconnectedness of all things was not such a given. this was subtle but noticeable.

#3. my return to use was marked by a reverential ceremony, a thanking and loving of the medicine and a welcoming of it's synergistic vibration into my own. it just feels like a puzzle piece falling into place within me.

#4. probably most significantly, i truly opened my eyes to my work with cannibis (as with all plant teachers) as a RELATIONSHIP. i was able to become even more sensitive to when and how to best work with these teachers and when and how much time my spirit needs to incorporate their lessons. with cannibis, it's almost like my mind can assimilate it's teachings at the same tempo they are meted out. that's probably what i mean when i say that i synergize well with it. i feel like there is no lag in the give/receive dynamic. it's given, it's received. i am open to it and i honor it with meritorious deeds (meditation, creative endeavors, teaching/coaching/giving, connecting). my relationship is acknowledged and honored and that makes all the difference for me.

all of this being said, i did vaporize today and i went on to have a wonderfull 4-hour training session. now i am writing this and soon i will be diving into an amazing book i just got for my birthday (Sun of God....it's sooooo good!!). feeling productive and at the same time, i feel extremely tranquil. like i am in a flow that knows no obstruction. is it possible that my ability to reap cannibis' gold just got even better? time will tell.

the effects are certainly positive and potent so i am no longer wondering if i lost my ability to communicate with this teacher. good to know ;) i will also add, however, that something does feel different. my sensations today were more rooted in a sense of understanding and acceptance than even i am used to. i really and truly think that my carrier-wave-only breakthrough did something. it marked something. it opened something.

i'm a little nervous for my next work with the molecule :shock: ...

anyways, that's the latest. off to the desert tomorrow with a proper dose of recently extracted mescaline. i am looking forward to a deep conversation with mescalito concerning the upcoming solar cycle...

i'll let you know what she says! HAPPY NEW YEAR MY WONDERFUL NEXUS FAMILY!!!

with the deepest love and gratitude!!
 
nothing but love my electrically sighted friend! ;) you are neither preachy nor offensive...merely stating your valid opinion and feelings...both of which i respect and appreciate. that's what makes our community so righteous after all!!

as for you, mr. D'lay....i drink your milkshake!!!

L&G!!
 
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