*EntheoZen*
Rising Star
Overall, this will be a pretty under-whelming account. I thought those who have never tried DMT may find if of interest or use. I did this yesterday.
Be warned, I am a little wordy. This is a long post for such a seemingly trivial experience. But it is detailed for those who can appreciate that.
Past Experience: A decade of extensive psychedelic use during which I meditated regularly. Followed by 5 year hiatus but with daily meditation.
A little background: After a five year hiatus, I was reluctant to jump into dmt. The weekend prior I took about 1.5-2 grams of mushrooms with my girlfriend. I experienced some anxiety with the come up but ended up having a fairly mild/short lived experience. It was overall a good experience and I'm glad I did it.
Preparation: 20 years searching, 1 year of rigourous research, performed extraction myself with mindfulness and setting honorable intent.
Preparation day of: meditation and set intent. I asked for a gentle introduction but accepted whatever may come.
Method: ~10mg of re-x'd yellowish white crystals into the "machine." I believe I vaped most, or all, of it without any waste. I used the machine and it was not harsh at all. I will "clear the device" today to assess how much, if any remained.
My first DMT experience:
I didn't want to breakthrough on my first go at this. I figured I would be OK with 10mg to start. I exhaled completely and vaped until my lungs were full. I believe I got pretty much all of the 10mg. I counted to 20, during which I began to feel things shift a bit. Upon exhaling, it hit me completely.
I was clearly in that "trippy" space. There was only a color shift and slight breathing of objects visually with my eyes open. In spite of, I was quickly terrified. It happened so quickly. Unfortunately, this caused me to resist. I knew there was no turning back though, so I closed my eyes and rested my head back (I was sitting on my couch).
I continued to feel anxious and scared about what was going to happen. A sort of static of colors began to appear though not clearly. This quickly took form. I have to say first, at no point did imagery become crystal clear. It was not like looking at a picture or having one's eyes open. It was a bit like when I meditate and focus on my mind's imagery. A bit foggy visually. I attribute this to resisting. I felt it could become very vivid if I would just completely let go.
The shape, however, was very identifiable. I saw a very colorful perfectly symetrical circle divided into 4 equal quadrants. The quadrants took a N, S, E, W position within the circle. Each quadrant had a maze type pattern within them, all mirror images. At the NW, SW, NE and SE corners, the circle had a kind of extension sitting on the outside of the circle's circumference, a little more angular of a protrusion but still rounded. Within this was the same maze type pattern. The background was colorful but formless. It seemed very mayan/aztec to me.
The image was static. Perhaps the color was dynamic and changing within, but the overall form did not change. I felt I was supposed to go into it. It was drawing me towards it. Unfortunately, I continued to resist. This only seemed to last about a minute. My girlfriend said I had my eyes closed about 5 minutes. This seems contradictory to every other account and all of my other psychedelic experiences. Instead of time slowing, it didn't appear to last long at all to me.
After I opened my eyes, I felt very "trippy." No visuals but that strange feeling was present as was a slight color shift. This lasted about another 5 minutes or so. I was very clear headed.
Conclusion:
As I said, my account was somewhat under-whelming. The visual aspect for me was mild, especially compared to what I have witnessed on mushrooms and lsd. The emotional component and come up was very intense and powerful. I'm certain this is why I became so fearful.
Just like when I did shrooms the week before, the come up had me immediately thinking that dmt might not be for me. I thought it before I closed my eyes and shortly thereafter as the image took form. Afterwords, I am only more interested. Yet still scared.
Overall, I was left with a feeling that this was a very intense experience. I suspect it is due to the speed with which it happens. I can't even begin to imagine what a breakthrough will be like. I imagine I will take things slowly and work my way up to that. If I find that there is still some residual spice in my machine tonight, then on my next full attempt, I will try to do a whole 10 mg (two tokes if necessary). If not, I think I will go for 15mg. I will try not to resist and can hopefully face my fear and let go. Harder said than done, even with the desire to do so. Emotion is a funny thing.
In the end, I got what I wanted. A mild initiation. I am grateful for that. I just wish it wasn't so scary. It was my first time though, so hopefully I can find that place I was once a little more comfortable with.
Be warned, I am a little wordy. This is a long post for such a seemingly trivial experience. But it is detailed for those who can appreciate that.
Past Experience: A decade of extensive psychedelic use during which I meditated regularly. Followed by 5 year hiatus but with daily meditation.
A little background: After a five year hiatus, I was reluctant to jump into dmt. The weekend prior I took about 1.5-2 grams of mushrooms with my girlfriend. I experienced some anxiety with the come up but ended up having a fairly mild/short lived experience. It was overall a good experience and I'm glad I did it.
Preparation: 20 years searching, 1 year of rigourous research, performed extraction myself with mindfulness and setting honorable intent.
Preparation day of: meditation and set intent. I asked for a gentle introduction but accepted whatever may come.
Method: ~10mg of re-x'd yellowish white crystals into the "machine." I believe I vaped most, or all, of it without any waste. I used the machine and it was not harsh at all. I will "clear the device" today to assess how much, if any remained.
My first DMT experience:
I didn't want to breakthrough on my first go at this. I figured I would be OK with 10mg to start. I exhaled completely and vaped until my lungs were full. I believe I got pretty much all of the 10mg. I counted to 20, during which I began to feel things shift a bit. Upon exhaling, it hit me completely.
I was clearly in that "trippy" space. There was only a color shift and slight breathing of objects visually with my eyes open. In spite of, I was quickly terrified. It happened so quickly. Unfortunately, this caused me to resist. I knew there was no turning back though, so I closed my eyes and rested my head back (I was sitting on my couch).
I continued to feel anxious and scared about what was going to happen. A sort of static of colors began to appear though not clearly. This quickly took form. I have to say first, at no point did imagery become crystal clear. It was not like looking at a picture or having one's eyes open. It was a bit like when I meditate and focus on my mind's imagery. A bit foggy visually. I attribute this to resisting. I felt it could become very vivid if I would just completely let go.
The shape, however, was very identifiable. I saw a very colorful perfectly symetrical circle divided into 4 equal quadrants. The quadrants took a N, S, E, W position within the circle. Each quadrant had a maze type pattern within them, all mirror images. At the NW, SW, NE and SE corners, the circle had a kind of extension sitting on the outside of the circle's circumference, a little more angular of a protrusion but still rounded. Within this was the same maze type pattern. The background was colorful but formless. It seemed very mayan/aztec to me.
The image was static. Perhaps the color was dynamic and changing within, but the overall form did not change. I felt I was supposed to go into it. It was drawing me towards it. Unfortunately, I continued to resist. This only seemed to last about a minute. My girlfriend said I had my eyes closed about 5 minutes. This seems contradictory to every other account and all of my other psychedelic experiences. Instead of time slowing, it didn't appear to last long at all to me.
After I opened my eyes, I felt very "trippy." No visuals but that strange feeling was present as was a slight color shift. This lasted about another 5 minutes or so. I was very clear headed.
Conclusion:
As I said, my account was somewhat under-whelming. The visual aspect for me was mild, especially compared to what I have witnessed on mushrooms and lsd. The emotional component and come up was very intense and powerful. I'm certain this is why I became so fearful.
Just like when I did shrooms the week before, the come up had me immediately thinking that dmt might not be for me. I thought it before I closed my eyes and shortly thereafter as the image took form. Afterwords, I am only more interested. Yet still scared.
Overall, I was left with a feeling that this was a very intense experience. I suspect it is due to the speed with which it happens. I can't even begin to imagine what a breakthrough will be like. I imagine I will take things slowly and work my way up to that. If I find that there is still some residual spice in my machine tonight, then on my next full attempt, I will try to do a whole 10 mg (two tokes if necessary). If not, I think I will go for 15mg. I will try not to resist and can hopefully face my fear and let go. Harder said than done, even with the desire to do so. Emotion is a funny thing.
In the end, I got what I wanted. A mild initiation. I am grateful for that. I just wish it wasn't so scary. It was my first time though, so hopefully I can find that place I was once a little more comfortable with.
