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Support needed..

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StrangeSleep+herMr

StrangeSleep+herMr

sleep paralysis, pieces of a puzzle falling into p
Hello. I feel I.. we.. may need some support. Maybe some positive thoughts and different points if view. I feel called to something.g important. And I cant just ignore it and continue current path chosen. I have control.. yet I stay somewhere I do not want to be. Is dmt best tried the first time sober from addictions if u do not feel any intoxication from these horrible little things that try to control the soul... or can it help? Sometimes the pain is so beautiful I cry.. I hear music again.. I feel again .. huge goosebumps that hurt skin when I am moved by beauty I haven't seen in yrs. Listening to a lot of matisyahu and tool lately.. I feel like I'm trying to teach myself to appreciate the pain to the point where I enjoy it.. BC I deserve it after numbing myself so long. But then.. I m scared to let it continue for weeks... .... Idk.
I have to do something. Years pass by in the blink of an eye. I'm right in the edge looking down. I know that I am going to make the choice. I know I have the power to regain control. And I know I will. But how much can one recover from? Does it increase the appreciation after you make it back?

Love and thanks..

Its time. Can't stagnate any longer.....
 
Hello. I felt compelled to share my experience with you after reading your intro. And welcome ;)

First of all I'll give you a little background on myself. I have been on and off opiates (pain meds) for the last 8 years due to fibromyalgia. Since this is not curable, I am depressed, so they give me anti depressants. To make a very long story short, I ended up addicted to the pain meds as well as numb from the anti depressants.

I have withdrawn several times from the opiates and a few times from the anti depressants, which reminds me so much of what you were talking about in your intro (feeling again, etc).
I am now in the process of weaning myself off the SSRI for the LAST time. I do not want to be numb anymore. I also have my bf control my pain meds so I don't go overboard with them and I only take a minimal amount to be comfortable.

With all of that said, I did DMT for the first time two nights ago. So personally, I don't think you need to have everything out of your system first. I had a life changing experience that night and it has made me want to be a better person. It has certainly made me see my flaws as a human, but it did not make me feel bad about them.

Anyway, in my personal opinion, I think doing the DMT will help you in your journey of whatever you are trying to get away from. If it is truly a spiritual experience you seek, I think it will be extremely good for you.

Welcome again :)
 
StrangeSleep+herMr wrote:


Listening to a lot of Matisyahu and Tool lately..
Click to expand...

Sounds like your headed in a positive direction. :d
I love live at Stubbs so Much, It calls to my Hebrew soul.
Tool of course is great as well.

So you say you feel called to do something important eh? Maybe this is the case...

It sounds like you are struggling with an addiction of some type,
there is certainly hope for this type of condition.

I would say that while it would be great if you could quit your addiction before trying DMT, I don't believe this is a requirement however. It is true that DMT may make you realized what you need to do to stop your addiction...but ultimately it will be up to you to integrate that learning into your day to day world.

In your case I would recommend starting with a Caapi vine based Ayahuasca if your interested in trying DMT. There is a place in Brazil called the Takawasi center...

They use Ayahuasca and shamanistic treatments to treat all addictions and their methods are very interesting. Of course there is no reason you can't try to take Ayahuasca at home just as easily. But if one were in a position to afford professional treatment I would either do the Takawasi or an Ibogaine treatment.

This is a very well made documentary on ayahuasca and the takawasi center, it's really fascinating stuff. I believe there are 5 or 6 parts to it. Enjoy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV_5SLdS4Fw
 
Best of luck to you friend. I struggled with an opiate addiction a few years ago but my situation is a bit different from yours. Your mindset is in a wonderful place and you seem to know what you want. Interestingly enough I was listening to the same tunes when I was battling it out.

Personally I went stone sober to drop the opiates and took some time to get my head straight, but this was before I had met DMT. I always remembered what I liked about opiates, but after being away from them for a while it lost 'some' appeal. If an opportunity arose where my opiate was available I'd still crave like no other. Anyways, what I'm getting at is that after smoking DMT and having one hell of a mind-blowing breakthrough, things changed for me. All trip banter aside, the afterglow I felt from that single trip made something click. I remembered how much I loved (and secondly hated) opiates, and I knew that how I felt now was not only superior, but clear. That afterglow lasted strongly for months and even now I think it may be subtly permanent. Opportunities have since placed themselves in front of me where I would have previously dropped back into the opiate den, yet I felt no urge to follow it.

DMT has given me a sense of peace. A sense I had lost for a long time.

Is dmt best tried the first time sober from addictions if u do not feel any intoxication from these horrible little things that try to control the soul... or can it help?
- I can't directly relate, but post-opiate-addiction it helped me give up remaining urges.

I have to do something. Years pass by in the blink of an eye. I'm right in the edge looking down. I know that I am going to make the choice. I know I have the power to regain control. And I know I will. But how much can one recover from? Does it increase the appreciation after you make it back?
- I'm glad to see you taking control back. On the note of appreciate, my DMT trips have given me a profound appreciation for everything Earthly. Hyperspace is completely different from Earth and the universe as we know it and that fact alone gives me a greater appreciation. The personal insights during the trip vary, but could potentially be helpful as they have in my case.
 
Created in Germany. Sold to America. Kills emotion, spirituality, sense of time passing, creativity... Leaves a functional Zombie. Not what I want. Not at all. I want to be aware & receptive ..and I am happy I will be..

......."Already done"

So if you are functional, they don't consider it addictive?
 
StrangeSleep+herMr said:
Created in Germany. Sold to America. Kills emotion, spirituality, sense of time passing, creativity... Leaves a functional Zombie. Not what I want. Not at all. I want to be aware & receptive ..and I am happy I will be..

......."Already done"

So if you are functional, they don't consider it addictive?
Click to expand...

Hello and welcome, ... I could add to the above, 'dumb 'em down or gun 'em down', but I wont.
The powers that be dont want a lot of bright informed people with nothing to do, so your fight is hard, I know.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have a mind, wouldn't it be easier to drown in unconsciousness, only sometimes though.

Sounds to me that you are more awake than not !!:thumb_up: Knowing what you want is more than half the battle. Thinking you can do it is a really great start. (I know I have the power to regain control. And I know I will)
I have so much empathy for you and wish to express my (for one) support for your quest. I am sending possitive thoughts for you and hope you find sanctuary. For me, this community brings me more sanity than most other things, including DMT. To see it's influence on people and the changes it has made to most of them has given me my faith in human nature back, I lost it a while back.
But how much can one recover from? Everything..... Its NEVER too late to have a happy childhood (someone told me that once and I carry it with me always)
I KNOW you are going to get to where you want to be, and I want to be the first to congratulate you when you do.
So keep reading here and consider the possibilities as you do, they ARE real so are we, and if I can help you I will. But I think you know that the person best qualified is..... You. Life is too short.

Have you considered Ayahuasca ? This is a much loved healing potion more easily available than pure DMT, as is Iboga.
Years pass in the blink of an eye, yes they do, it seems like only yesterday that I was young. I am now much closer to my end than my beginning, but now the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train comming the other way.
Love and take care of yourself.
Gowpen
 
If the OPs talking of methadone, then have a look at this paper:


It seems that even in abstinent ex-methadone users, there appears to be some lingering cognitive deficits when formally 'measured' using the different scales.

I think the question of how long it takes to start feeling normal after being habituated on methadone depends on a number of factors including pre-opiate use mental state, duration of use, history of using other substances (with some being more problematic than others), dosages taken and duration of use.But by virtue of it being a long-acting agent the process of really living again is going to take alot longer than the shorter-acting compounds like heroin, oxycodone, fentanyl, hydromorphone etc.

IMO, methadone does serve a useful role when used in certain ways but I dont think its that great an agent for someone who wishes to leave opiate use of any kind behind them.
 
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