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Didn't really read the replies, just replying directly to the OP.
I went through the same thing but I did it intentionally with weed. My breakthroughs have never really been with DMT. In my DMT trips I don't get sucked into any holes or flung into other dimensions. For me I usually find myself in what I've been calling "the control room." I took some DMT on my birthday in February (30 now), I've been writing down my trips and that night all I wrote was "I feel new." See my journal or phone notes, you'll think, "yes you are new." For me weed or just THC is far more useful than DMT by leaps and bounds. DMT is like a plus, but I feel I understand what's happening with DMT or what it does.

Anyway for you sir, what I think is that you're starting to understand or get tired of pretending. When you're around other people and you act out of character you know you're not being honest. It's not about morality by any means, it's about real. If you don't like something say so. If you're not kind, don't be. Whatever you're feeling, feel it and don't feel bad about feeling whatever it is you're feeling. That also comes from other people and upbringing. When you act how you think you're supposed to act despite however you may actually feel. With however you feel or with whatever it is you're doing, you first have to be ok with it. A lot of the problems people have inside is because they're not committing. In other words, if you're an asshole, be an asshole because that's who you are. However, there is a trick to all this. Time and place. Say you hate your job, lots of us do. But don't be douche at work. Instead focus on the fact that you like making a living. It's like in philosophy with the dark and white horse. You're mostly dark horse it seems, but you have to know when to pull back on the black reigns and let the white horse lead. As for being who you are. It's more important to be at peace with ourselves, be ok with the parts of us we don't like because that's part of who you are. How could you not like yourself? Myself, I'm fat (on a serious come down mind you, but still fat), but if someone made fun of me for being fat, big deal, I AM FAT. I know it's not healthy, but I'm good with the fact I'm fat. Doesn't mean I can't change that about myself as I am. I don't have to like being fat, I'm just ok with it.

<blockquote data-quote="Curated_Thinking" data-source="post: 3869634" data-attributes="member: 49716">Didn&#039;t really read the replies, just replying directly to the OP. I went through the same thing but I did it intentionally with weed. My breakthroughs have never really been with DMT. In my DMT trips I don&#039;t get sucked into any holes or flung into other dimensions. For me I usually find myself in what I&#039;ve been calling &quot;the control room.&quot; I took some DMT on my birthday in February (30 now), I&#039;ve been writing down my trips and that night all I wrote was &quot;I feel new.&quot; See my journal or phone notes, you&#039;ll think, &quot;yes you are new.&quot; For me weed or just THC is far more useful than DMT by leaps and bounds. DMT is like a plus, but I feel I understand what&#039;s happening with DMT or what it does. Anyway for you sir, what I think is that you&#039;re starting to understand or get tired of pretending. When you&#039;re around other people and you act out of character you know you&#039;re not being honest. It&#039;s not about morality by any means, it&#039;s about real. If you don&#039;t like something say so. If you&#039;re not kind, don&#039;t be. Whatever you&#039;re feeling, feel it and don&#039;t feel bad about feeling whatever it is you&#039;re feeling. That also comes from other people and upbringing. When you act how you think you&#039;re supposed to act despite however you may actually feel. With however you feel or with whatever it is you&#039;re doing, you first have to be ok with it. A lot of the problems people have inside is because they&#039;re not committing. In other words, if you&#039;re an asshole, be an asshole because that&#039;s who you are. However, there is a trick to all this. Time and place. Say you hate your job, lots of us do. But don&#039;t be douche at work. Instead focus on the fact that you like making a living.&nbsp;&nbsp; It&#039;s like in philosophy with the dark and white horse. You&#039;re mostly dark horse it seems, but you have to know when to pull back on the black reigns and let the white horse lead. As for being who you are. It&#039;s more important to be at peace with ourselves, be ok with the parts of us we don&#039;t like because that&#039;s part of who you are. How could you not like yourself? Myself, I&#039;m fat (on a serious come down mind you, but still fat), but if someone made fun of me for being fat, big deal, I AM FAT. I know it&#039;s not healthy, but I&#039;m good with the fact I&#039;m fat. Doesn&#039;t mean I can&#039;t change that about myself as I am. I don&#039;t have to like being fat, I&#039;m just ok with it.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Curated_Thinking, post: 3869634, member: 49716"] Didn't really read the replies, just replying directly to the OP. I went through the same thing but I did it intentionally with weed. My breakthroughs have never really been with DMT. In my DMT trips I don't get sucked into any holes or flung into other dimensions. For me I usually find myself in what I've been calling "the control room." I took some DMT on my birthday in February (30 now), I've been writing down my trips and that night all I wrote was "I feel new." See my journal or phone notes, you'll think, "yes you are new." For me weed or just THC is far more useful than DMT by leaps and bounds. DMT is like a plus, but I feel I understand what's happening with DMT or what it does. Anyway for you sir, what I think is that you're starting to understand or get tired of pretending. When you're around other people and you act out of character you know you're not being honest. It's not about morality by any means, it's about real. If you don't like something say so. If you're not kind, don't be. Whatever you're feeling, feel it and don't feel bad about feeling whatever it is you're feeling. That also comes from other people and upbringing. When you act how you think you're supposed to act despite however you may actually feel. With however you feel or with whatever it is you're doing, you first have to be ok with it. A lot of the problems people have inside is because they're not committing. In other words, if you're an asshole, be an asshole because that's who you are. [b]However[/b], there is a trick to all this. Time and place. Say you hate your job, lots of us do. But don't be douche at work. Instead focus on the fact that you like making a living. It's like in philosophy with the dark and white horse. You're mostly dark horse it seems, but you have to know when to pull back on the black reigns and let the white horse lead. As for being who you are. It's more important to be at peace with ourselves, be ok with the parts of us we don't like because that's part of who you are. How could you not like yourself? Myself, I'm fat (on a serious come down mind you, but still fat), but if someone made fun of me for being fat, big deal, I AM FAT. I know it's not healthy, but I'm good with the fact I'm fat. Doesn't mean I can't change that about myself as I am. I don't have to like being fat, I'm just ok with it. [/QUOTE]