SWIM's first time, don't know how to understand it

[virtualmark]

Hey, this is my first post on the forum, i've been reading for a few weeks and have decided to share SWIM's experience with you. I'm also hoping that others have had a similar experience to him.

SWIM is a very curious person, interested in the big questions in life. Such as why are we here, what came before us, is there life on other worlds, what will happen in the future, what happens when we die etc. So DMT fascinates him, after reading some amazing reports on the web.

Ok the first time SWIM tried DMT was a few days ago. Took the first hit, held it in, took the second and already feeling something 'approaching rapidly' from the first. By the time the second was taken, things were already starting to look very strange indeed and co-ordination was a problem. SWIM decided not to try the third hit, leant back and breathed out. As SWIM breathed out it felt like it went into infinity? Like time slowed down, the breath even sounded a bit deeper.

What happened next SWIM does not know. It was not a measured dose and there was some left over afterwards that wasn't melted. But it felt like SWIM had been there before, and there was a feeling of 'you asked, now you've been shown', as SWIM was very curious about DMT, and now it had overwhelmed 100%. Came back to earth and felt ok. Couldn't remember much of the experience, but remember it had been VERY intense.

SWIM tried it again about a week later. This time it really took some nerves to do it, as SWIM realised the power of this substance and was actually a little scared of it. After a few minutes calming himself, SWIM again took an unmeasured dose. This time SWIM's smoking technique was better, 3 hits were taken and the experience was very intense indeed.

As soon as SWIM broke through, he remembered everything from the last trip. Very strange indeed. It was like he'd never left. The concepts of infinity, circle of life etc were there but now SWIM can't remember how. As soon as return to normality happens, all the knowledge seems to go with it. Now SWIM has tried LSD, mushrooms etc, but these do not compare in any sense. DMT was far more profound than anything SWIM has ever tried. From SWIM's experience he remembers strange sounds, maybe some form of intelligence, the complex mathematical patterns. There was something keeping SWIM attached to this world, preventing him from seeing directly into the other world. SWIM remembers hearing himself breathe every now and then, again slowly and it was almost as if it wasn't SWIM.

SWIM also remembers there was an element of sheer terror, unlike any terror SWIM has seen before. Perhaps it was the feeling of being overwhelmed? Or maybe something else. But SWIM still felt a small connection to the real world, and did relax enough to enjoy the experience. But there was definitely this element here.

SWIM did not see any aliens as far as he can remember. Nor any entities. But SWIM came back to earth with a sense of appreciation for life, and a feeling that some of his questions had been answered. Now this is a very strange feeling, and the memories fade so quickly almost like a dream. But one thing SWIM remembers is that this was more than a dream. Things made sense, in a nonsensical way. A way thats almost impossible to put into words. SWIM has talked to friends who have tried lsd, but they don't understand this. So SWIM thought he'd see what people on this forum thought, and to see if there are any similar experiences.

 

[Purges]

Welcome aboard First off GET SOME MG SCALES! This will help you out immeasurably, it is the difference between a comfortable hyperspace shuttle and a terrifying and potentially damaging trip.

Also, try not to read too much into it, insights often surface a day or two later for me, if at all. Often much of it is too much for our tiny little monkey brains to comprehend, hence losing the ability to process the info afterwards.

 

[Tek]

Welcome to the community virtualmark. Great first post and sounds like the door opened for you a bit

It is strange, these experiences on DMT. All trips are only able to be interpreted by the experiencer, however I'll share my two cents for whatever that's worth to you.

The forgetting / remembering I've experienced many, many times and it's commonly reported here. With more 'practice' (although I hate using that term), it becomes easier to bring back more and more of the experience with you into your waking reality. Personally for me this took a few deep trips of absolute craziness before any sort of real understanding managed to come back with me, there tends to be an integration period between journeys for me that sometimes last months before I feel I'm ready to go deeper. The benefit is, just like you experienced, going 'back there' is almost always like picking up where you left off, like you never left the place to begin with and this makes it easier with repeated visits to get a general understanding of what's going on.

The terror thing I can relate to greatly. Terence McKenna, one of the greatest pioneers of psychedelics, had tripped more times than he could probably count but still maintained the fact that a certain dread came over him every time he was about to dose. He said it's the sheer terror of taking the substance that's proof to the power of the experience, and I agree with him on this since it's not something to be taken lightly. Nowadays I think, for myself, I understand this dread more. I honestly feel it is my human ego that causes this fear. The fear of transcending the human experience is a terrifying concept to my mammalian brain that has been programmed to fight for it's survival. The animal brain's command to survive comes into conflict with the psychedelic experience which wants you to take flight from your body and travel deep into unknown territory. My own ego will stop at nothing, even begging (I've had an experience of seeing my ego from the outside/inside while this is happening) to keep me in orbit around planet earth. However, this is a paper dragon as it were, the terror is a thing to be overcome and there isn't any real or inherent danger. You will come back to reality even if your ego tries to convince you otherwise.

It's interesting you use the moniker SWIM when discussing how, while observing yourself breathing, it was almost like it wasn't you (or, truly a SWIM - Someone Who Isn't Me). I'm not sure who first came up with that term, if they meant it as a way to report experiences without incriminating one's self or if they actually meant the SWIM that seems to come out on deep journeys. Regardless, I love the term because of how accurate it describes the one who trips. 'I' in my ego sense of the term, never leave planet earth. The ego lives and dies in this realm, however BIG I, or SWIM, DOES live on outside of the earth life system and it's this strange relationship of small me and BIG ME being one and the same, yet seperate, that is one of the greatest mysteries of the psychedelic world to me.

Aliens and entities don't always show up, I think they do when they're sure you can handle them in one way or another and if you're just starting your journeys there is a possibility that they are allowing you to get your feet wet before they think you're ready for them. This is only my opinion however I have nothing but personal expereinces with them to go on and in my first breakthrough I actually did meet an entity so I'm probably not the best one to talk about when and why they show up.

All in all, what I get out of the psychedelic experience is as follows, and these are knowns to me however a known to me might only be a belief or theory to others, but in case you wanted my input this is what I know for myself:

1. There is a Non-Physical Reality (NPR) that members of this community call hyperspace

2. The 'entrance' to hyperspace is within our own minds meaning we are all connected to it at any given moment in time, whether aware of it or not

3. Hyperspace is an impossibly large, perhaps infinate area which is navigable to some degree and seems to exist outside of the flow of time

4. Apparent discarnate entities reside in this place and communicate with a form of instant download, telepathy, or Non-Verbal Communication (NVC)

5. Human experience has been revealed to me to be an experiment with seperation (for whatever reason) and the only way to be able to do this is to make the experiencer forget he is a part of the whole.

6. Psychedelics are 'easter eggs' hidden in the 'game world' of Earth to remind the human that he is actually not human but a part of something much larger, much grander, and in the truest sense, he/she/it can never REALLY be seperated from the whole in anything other than perception.

Many might not feel the same way, but like I said these are my personal knowns and I share them with you just for the sake of helping make sense of your own journey.

Happy travels friend

 

[virtualmark]

Thanks for the replies.

Purges - if SWIM ever does it again i'm sure he'll get some scales. this was a test run but was more revealing and powerful than expected. SWIM's a bit cautious about taking it again and will definitely give it a lot of thought and time first if he ever does.

Tek - you said it sounds like the doors opened a bit? do you think that wasn't a full breakthrough then? SWIM was worried he'd taken too much as he'd read that a larger dose can stop you remembering the experience.

SWIM thinks the terror was also due to the nature of what he was thinking about. Questions about life, afterlife etc. This experience gave him that feeling the he'd seen something he wasn't supposed to. If done in the future he may get some MAOI's as he's heard they can slow the experience down. This might be useful to work out whats going on, but again scary as it will be longer in that world. SWIM remembers there was a feeling of exposure, like it'd got behind his defenses and he felt very small. Overall it was a pleasant experience tho.

My personal views are that we should be allowed to do what we want on this planet, as long as we don't harm anyone else. Regrettably thats not the case, which is why i was using SWIM to describe my friends experience. Obviously everyone on this forum is open minded and friendly, but SWIM doesn't want the wrong people reading this and getting ideas that this is anything other than a work of fiction.

But SWIM does know what you mean, its almost like he couldn't think or rationalize. And hearing the breathing almost like it was coming from somewhere else when in fact it was coming from him. Very strange indeed. Although SWIM is very curious about these experiences, he is now also very cautious. There was such an unshakable profound feeling, like he had opened a Pandora's box, and when he came back to this world the one thought was that he'd seen enough and should live his life.

One other theme SWIM remembered was that all his questions were related. Everything seemed related, every thought we have, we're all from the same stardust. This seemed to make sense at the time, but SWIM can't remember why. Its a shame these memories don't last too long, although SWIM knows the one sure way to get them back.

 

[۩]

Hey Virtualmark, welcome to the DMT-Nexus!

Just wanted to let ya know there's no need to SWIM here on such a super encrypted forum such as this. It's all good brother. Everyone knows SWIM really means I, anyway.

Check out the link in my signature if you've never seen it, it might offer some helpful tips. Otherwise, keep up the explorations every time you hear the call! Peace and Hyperspace.

 

[Caravel]

an unmeasured dose... thats like playing on the highway you may be alright the first few times but eventually you'll get hit

i found my scale online for $30US and its 0.001g accurate im sure you can find one at an equal or lower price from many places online or even at your local headshop

buying a scale "will" someday prevent you from a horrific experience

 

[Global]

I think part of the problem with remembering a phenomena like time dilation or the complete absence of time is that when trying to remember these things, we're currently under the iron fist of time, so there's gonna be some difficulty for the mind to create a faithful memory other than it remembers that a remark you made to yourself such as "time had stopped." The same goes for multidimensional phenomena experienced in hyperspace. You're trying to take these higher dimensional experience and remember them with cognition that's only working in 3 or maybe 4 dimensions. Lastly, I don't think our memory is as good as we pretend it is normally anyway. Of course the DMT experience may be a bit more fleeting than most, but even shortly getting off of a roller coaster, it can be hard to remember what it felt like or what you saw on the roller coaster cause it went by so fast and the main reason being you're no longer on a roller coaster. Your memory can only provide you labels of what you've done in a pitiful attempt of recall. DMT is no different other than the fact that you've been on many roller coasters and have reasonable expectancies of what you can see on a roller coaster so you have good labels for recall. DMT has pretty poor labels for recall, but the more you do it, the easier it is to remember certain repetitive aspects I think. DMT can cause black out kind of effects, but that's a bit different than what I'm talking about.

Another factor with remembering would be that it would be pretty easy to remember what went down in a particular DMT experience provided you close your eyes, you're dropped in a room that's adorned with patterns or entities, and that's that. But at least for me, that's not what usually happens. Usually I'm dropped in a room that quickly transforms into another room or space and everything's constantly moving and shifting so what you saw 5 seconds ago is no longer there and even while you're still experiencing it, you can have a difficult time remembering what it was that was taking place 10 seconds ago because it's so different than what's happening right now. I know this isn't always the case, but in cases like it, remembering can become all the more difficult.

 

[Tek]

Tek - you said it sounds like the doors opened a bit? do you think that wasn't a full breakthrough then? SWIM was worried he'd taken too much as he'd read that a larger dose can stop you remembering the experience.

SWIM thinks the terror was also due to the nature of what he was thinking about. Questions about life, afterlife etc. This experience gave him that feeling the he'd seen something he wasn't supposed to. If done in the future he may get some MAOI's as he's heard they can slow the experience down. This might be useful to work out whats going on, but again scary as it will be longer in that world. SWIM remembers there was a feeling of exposure, like it'd got behind his defenses and he felt very small. Overall it was a pleasant experience tho.

My personal views are that we should be allowed to do what we want on this planet, as long as we don't harm anyone else. Regrettably thats not the case, which is why i was using SWIM to describe my friends experience. Obviously everyone on this forum is open minded and friendly, but SWIM doesn't want the wrong people reading this and getting ideas that this is anything other than a work of fiction.

But SWIM does know what you mean, its almost like he couldn't think or rationalize. And hearing the breathing almost like it was coming from somewhere else when in fact it was coming from him. Very strange indeed. Although SWIM is very curious about these experiences, he is now also very cautious. There was such an unshakable profound feeling, like he had opened a Pandora's box, and when he came back to this world the one thought was that he'd seen enough and should live his life.

One other theme SWIM remembered was that all his questions were related. Everything seemed related, every thought we have, we're all from the same stardust. This seemed to make sense at the time, but SWIM can't remember why. Its a shame these memories don't last too long, although SWIM knows the one sure way to get them back.

No it seemed like a breakthrough the way you posted it, it was just my casual way of saying you got through the opening sorry if that seemed confusing.

There is something about the DMT space that seems intuitively threatening. I've been told flat out that to exist there and know everything literally means death here on earth, as if the two sides were somehow incompatible with one another. I think this is where that feeling of awe and terror of the place lies, you intrinsically understand that this IS the divine realm, this is where you go when you die and if you don't wanna die then get the hell out of it! lol

 

[╖CoffeeBlack&EggWhite╖]

Caravel is right. A substance with this kind of power is not to be taken lightly. In the future, measure your dose. My first and only time vaporizing DMT, while it was certainly an amazing experience, as well as intense, was quite negative, due in part to the extremely high dose I took. A friend let me try some, and he obviously didn't know what he was doing, neither did I at the time, and he loaded up close to 70MG in a bulb pipe. I vaporized the entire dose in one hit, and lets just say... What followed wasn't the most pleasant thing I've ever experienced. The come down was great though!

 

[Global]

What followed wasn't the most pleasant thing I've ever experienced. The come down was great though!

Funny how that's almost always the case for me when a trip starts off overly intense or dark.