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Taking That First Step....

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quntumind

quntumind

Rising Star
Let's just first say...I'm a reader. A soak... anything I have an interest in I just devour any information I can about the subject. I've a member here for about 6 months. Sometimes I'm here everyday for a week...then take off a month. I've read and read accounts of good and bad experiences. Some actually scare the crap out of me, others I think "what am I waiting for?" I first tried DMT about 6 months ago. Didn't go well, I was ill prepared. Poor delivery method, something resembling a crack pipe. Burned my tongue, wasted my spice...I could go on. So... the timing wasn't right. Now... I swear it's calling me. No one I personally know has ever done DMT. I didn't go looking for her, she found me. I haven't had some friend going "you gotta try this!" I feel I've been sought out for a reason.... Now what? I've more spice than I'll ever use... More MHRB than I'll ever need. I'm in a tough spot huh? I'm doing this alone. My partner wouldn't understand and there is no one else I trust more than myself. The thoughts that run through everyone's mind...will I die, what if I don't come back, will it make me insane....I think I would have been better to have just jumped in and not tried to "learn my way out of this one". So... what now? I am prepared to try my first (2nd) launch tomorrow. Mentally..I know I have to deal with the after... physically...what can I expect? It's got to happen in the morning. I have no other option. Will my day be difficult? Anyway... this kind of rambles on a bit... Just a few pointers would be nice...
 
After my first experience I knew that nothing I could have read or done would have truly prepared me for that experience. I think the best thing you can do is to have a long time trusted friend sit in with you. Prepare the space as best you can, take your time, maybe even meditate before hand. But really it does just come down to taking those huge tokes and blasting off. I remember after my first hit thinking about how McKenna had talked about the body feelings and how they matched what I was feeling exactly. I used that as a sign that I was hitting it right and kept going.

IMHO I think the only way to really have a bad trip is to think too much. Instead you should be ok with a possible ego death, its going to be an intense and alien experience, there should be no doubt about that. Just try to radiate love and good vibes. I've found that focusing on love and my breath helped me.

Ask yourself why you're doing this? Truly what is the reason? I knew why I wanted to, and so I was willing to accept the risks. But i'm also a rock climber and enjoy thrills such as that so I think it sort of fit with my personality very well.

Either way I wish you the best of luck on your journey and look forward to hearing how it goes. :d
 
Hi quntumind,

I can relate to your reading appetite. It's a good thing, you don't know what boredom is unless someone locks you up in a cabinet, with no books or internet gadgets.

There's a risk, though: information overload. So many inputs, so many considerations, so many things to try, ideas to explore, leaps to make.

When you're getting ready for anything important for you, preparation makes sense. But there's a time when you have to take a deep breath and simply go with the flow. And that's what I would do. If you are overly concerned with your mindset, take care of it with what you have. Do it for yourself. Prepare a nice corner, burn or spray something that smells good, invent your ritual, one of your own. Chill, listen to some music that you like. Then make sure you won't be bothered, switch of the phone, get what you need, and then forget about everything for a while. Meditate. If you need to think, don't think too much about what might happen or not; just think about what you need, what you want to happen, the people and places you love.

Then let go, and trust yourself and the spice. You'll be fine.
 
Thanks Glitch... I wish I could have a minder, wont happen. So I'm on my own. I guess I'm all caught up in what happened to others on their voyages. So... I made my own bed, now I have to sleep in it.....
 
I can relate to your reading appetite. It's a good thing, you don't know what boredom is unless someone locks you up in a cabinet, with no books or internet gadgets.

Vodsel...great point! I relish the moments I can escape the information deluge but then can't wait to return. With the way the world is changing...we are becoming more connected to each other everyday. I feel the spiritual change we are waiting for is somehow connected to all of this. Spiritually we are all connected...until we can get our egos to figure this out.....
 
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