I learned about my relationship with death, how and why I fear it, how it could be the most gentle anesthesia that leads one into nothingness, and that could be beautiful.  Or how death would be a hell based on the memory of all the love I didn't give.  

For me aya has a potent death energy, and I sort of leave my body when I do it.

Thanks for the replies, everyone.  It's cool to hear from you all.