Terrible, strange, interesting experience.

[shwoosh]

"This is about someone not me.."
I need to tell this story/experience. To anyone who can listen.
I feel like my experience can be easily explained and advised upon.. but nonetheless.. here I go.

I made my first batch of dmt from 50g acacia confusa. The extraction wasnt perfect, and I didnt get crystals but rather the infamous goo. I got the goo to stick to some dry herbs (not psychoactive In any way). I used a pot piece to smoke my herb and tried a small portion of the leaf to test the waters. I felt a Very strong headrush and everything started humming. I felt intense panic/anxiety and I packed my things and hopped in bed. Closed my eyes and saw/felt simultaneously 2D/3D snake like lines/pipes. Was strange. The negatives were the intense fear, which I attributed to being indoors. I also got a mild/strong headache.

The next day I went into some nearby woods, with the intent of a stronger dose. I sat up against a tree and "hit that shit." I felt the very same headrush and extreme panic. But the panic wasn't panic. It was just heightened and erratic thought (which is the definition of anxiety in some senses). I look at the ground around me, the twigs and leafs were much more bright and... growing with light. I blinked, I forced them to be normal. Then they grew again. Just to make sure I was for sure 'feeling it.' The headrush was just nuts. Bonkers. There was 1/2 of me totally ok. Logical and able to observe and document what was happing. Seeing the patterns and totally calm. The other half was in the previously mentioned state of heightened erraticism. I packed my stuff quickly and walked to my car and layed down in the back seat. The walk over things were shifting and flowing. Rippling. I felt fear, and I felt the same pipes except stronger whenever I closed my eyes. Lying down I couldnt tell if I was breathing or not. I felt dissonance between the sights and my body.

15m later I was physiologically fine. My mind was racing and also calm simultaneously.

I think I was borserline breakthrough, and I resisted it, causing the anxiety. Part of me never wants to touch the stuff. The other parts want to and more, because I know what to do and how to do it.

Strange. Terrifying. Interesting.

 

[Infectedstyle]

i think what needs to be done is becoming used to the headrush. after some good experiences i associate it with health and prosperity and it is the best feeling in the world. getting used to the headrush (maybe some lower dosage) should make ur trips more interesting in the future . Just my thoughts! Good luck on ur journeys

 

[shwoosh]

Yes I think you are right. It was just very overwhelming, and I went into it, not knowing what to expect, but I knew I wouldn't be able to until I tried it.

And thanks for the advice.

I went back to the woods and tried it again, taking three 'doses' with the first being a slight feeling, and the next two much stonger. I purposefully didn't take that much but was able to see a lot of vibrancy and flow with my environment. I was able to calm myself down and not let myself get too much unexpected 'rush.' It was much less chaotic.

I will probably make more eventually, and hopefully I can test with stronger doses then.

 

[Pile of cats]

Thanks for the report!
I think in regards to the 'panic' you wrote about I know what you mean and experienced the same thing in the begining. I would smoke and suddenly 100's of thoughts would rush through my head and it would hold me back from properly communicating with entities (I pretty much always atleast feel their presence) but after a while your mind calms down but it's also something you need to actively work on (meditation has helped me greatly) After that I found that there's a special way to navigate the experience to go deeper and that's something I think everyone needs to figure out for themselves as how the experience unfolds is unique for everyone.

Also in regards to stronger doses I'm guessing you're already thinking of sorting out some way so you can weigh your dosage so you can find a sweet spot and work from there. Also for me it's not always a case of upping the dose but rather what I wrote above.