Welcome to the nexus thank you for sharing about yourself.

You can at times to some degree be clear headed while taking aya but with high doses you are pretty much along for the ride. However, the difficult ones are imo where the real healing happens. Its not easy but after many ceremony's I would always feel happy for people that were having a rough ride. That may sound strange but after I was cleansed and liberated from my fears and insecurity from difficult journey's I now feel good for someone going deep into their consciousness and facing the things that enslave them.

Aya gave me a life beyond what I knew was possible. That and meeting my girlfriend have been the single most important events of my life.