Hey all, I have a short experience that I would like to share, as I am still very much trying to wrap my head around it. First allow me to say that over the past three months, I've come to the realization that when I initially stumbled upon the molecule, I was consistently overdosing. For the first 8 months or so of my more regular working with spice, I was probably loading up between 50 and 100mg of dmt and vaping most of it (although after the first couple of months it was definitely closer to 50 than 100). While I did not have many blackout experiences (I had a couple) I had a very hard time remembering a lot of the things I was seeing and experiencing. This was especially maddening because I was getting so deep and experiencing such total immersion, yet could only bring the faintest glimmers and tiniest slivers of my experiences back with me. Recently, my frequency has decreased, and with this decrease in use and more time to reflect, I found myself less prone to putting heroic quantities into my pipe. I continued to use relatively high doses in my joints, because I could regulate how much I was actually taking in, but i digress....
My glass VaporGenie came on monday and I had been hoping to use it then, but as no one was home to sign for it, I had to grab it yesterday on my lunch break. I took it home after work and examined it, quite thrilled to have gotten it. I tested it out with a passionflower/cannabis blend, satisfied that it did indeed vaporize, haha. At this point I had to go about tending to my various ethnobotanicals and was not able to come back until later in the evening...
After taking care of some household stuff and seeing a friend for a beer at a bar down the street, I returned to my room, where everything had been set up for my journey. I had still not decided on what I was going to listen to on this particular voyage, I had given a lot of thought to this being my first trip completely devoid of music, but in the end did not feel that this was the night to go for it (in hindsight, maybe I should have). However, rather than picking music I was accustomed to blasting off to or even music I was familiar with, I selected some less heavy tracks off of some Caspian albums (a friend turned me on to Caspian in December, but I haven't really listened to them at all) and queued them up in my itunes. I placed some passionflower leaves on the screen as my spicecatcher and loaded somewhere around 30-40mg on top of it. I now see why Ant advocates getting a high quality torch lighter, it's no fun to be wrestling with a lighter, trying to keep it lit as you're attempting to blast off, but i managed to get the flame to stay on long enough to vape my product and took it all in in one huge, but slightly broken up hit.
My thoughts: WOW, I can feel the spice entering my system...but my throat feels nothing...am I hitting it? Is this actually vaping? I dunno, just keep inhaling until you can't anymore...oh wow, i definitely feel it coming on but that was so smooth...WHOOSH
At this point i put down/dropped the vg down onto my bed next to me. The entire room was a swirling vortex of blue-ish energy. For the first time in a long time, my head felt heavy and nodded down...i lost my reclining position from the neck up and felt that this helped to bring on some darker more ominous visions than usual. All of a sudden i heard/saw/felt this alein language, I have no clue what it was, it was entirely unintelligible but it was quite dark in tone...Suddnely I looked "up" a bit and saw this large, blue, male entity in the center of this vortex. He was like a cross between my avatar and Dr. Manhattan. He was speaking in the strange dialect and initailly, I couldn't understand him. His tone seemed to be harsh, almost accusatory and I have a sense that he was pointing or gesturing at me. I felt this negative enrgy wash over me and suddenly found myself confronted by things in my psyche, choices I'm not happy with, compromises i've made when I shouldn't, lifestyle aspects that I know I need to change but haven't due to lack of energy or doing other things, all of this roiled up in my consciousness and I suddenly felt very depressed, unhappy and scared.
I felt completely out of whack...uh oh, dmt mindfuck. Luckily I had taken a low enough dose that it wasn't too severe and had no looping, I just felt incredibly dissatisfied with certain aspects of my being. I began to get more depressed....breath deep...this too shall pass. I rolled my shoulders from side to side, trying to get comfortable between the pillows at my back and the blankets that were covering me. I realized I had been completely distracted and lost within myself. Upon this realization I looked up again and saw that the entity was still present, maybe directing my mind down these paths? I am unsure. Suddenly, despite not understanding his words, the essence of his message clarified in my mind. He points at me and I Understand "The things I am not happy with in my life, I need to change myself" wow, duh? but as with all enlightenment it was staring me in the face the whole time, I just couldn't see it.
[A Brief Tangent]
Kartikay was talking about spice helping you skip Maslow's hierarchy of needs the other day in chat. I told him I didn't think it skipped you past it, just rapidly accelerated the whole self actualization part of it. THIS is exactly what I was talking about. I know that I need to change the things I'm unhappy with, but to have a hyperspatial/pandimensional entity smack you in the face with that knowledge, well that can truly light a fire up under your ass. [Fin]
At this point I am still feeling somewhat down, struggling with the weight of the knowledge of things that need to be changed, but as the entity and patterns begin to fade, I open my eyes, ready to be out of that space. With each passing second I become more and more elated. I am ALIVE. I am REBORN. All i can say is "what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the" over and over again, then giggle for a bit, then say "holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit" I'm laughing, I'm shocked, I put my glasses back on and after a second or two, smack myself in the face, knocking them off. Yes there's work to be done, but that work is called Life! I can do my work by living my life as I need to, changing the things I need to change to better my life and well-being and thus better those around me as well.
I can't be alone, I'm grinning like an idiot, I don't really want to talk about what just happened and I've pretty much been through the ecstasy part of the afterglow, so I make my way downstairs and grin like a moron at my two roommates who are downstairs doing stuff. One of them knows exactly what's up as I was telling him/showed/let him hit an herbal blend outta the VG and he's like...so the new piece is good stuff, huh? All i could do was laugh and nod vigorously. My other roommate was drunk and had no clue what was going on, so he and i just talked about pointless stuff, while we both stood in the kitchen with massive grins on our faces (albeit for different reasons, although he was telling a funny story). Suddenly the post-spice shivers rack my body and its hard to stand, so i pace around for a while, talking and chuckling, completely in awe of what I just witnessed. I made my way back upstairs, packed a fat bowl in my new bong (it's awesome, it has a multicolored glass 420 diffuser, like the number is in the bong as a difuser, its nuts) and just lay in bed reflecting all that I had had just partaken in. Shortly after I went to bed, having an extremely fitful night's sleep.
The GVG is amazing for so many reasons, I need to make a big batch of changa and continue this work. I'm hoping that the lack of harsh hits will allow me to dive deeper with multi-breakthrough sessions on a level unmatched by any other apparatus. I love you all so much and am eternally grateful for both the "physical" construct of the nexus as well as the community behind it.
peace and love
SB
My glass VaporGenie came on monday and I had been hoping to use it then, but as no one was home to sign for it, I had to grab it yesterday on my lunch break. I took it home after work and examined it, quite thrilled to have gotten it. I tested it out with a passionflower/cannabis blend, satisfied that it did indeed vaporize, haha. At this point I had to go about tending to my various ethnobotanicals and was not able to come back until later in the evening...
After taking care of some household stuff and seeing a friend for a beer at a bar down the street, I returned to my room, where everything had been set up for my journey. I had still not decided on what I was going to listen to on this particular voyage, I had given a lot of thought to this being my first trip completely devoid of music, but in the end did not feel that this was the night to go for it (in hindsight, maybe I should have). However, rather than picking music I was accustomed to blasting off to or even music I was familiar with, I selected some less heavy tracks off of some Caspian albums (a friend turned me on to Caspian in December, but I haven't really listened to them at all) and queued them up in my itunes. I placed some passionflower leaves on the screen as my spicecatcher and loaded somewhere around 30-40mg on top of it. I now see why Ant advocates getting a high quality torch lighter, it's no fun to be wrestling with a lighter, trying to keep it lit as you're attempting to blast off, but i managed to get the flame to stay on long enough to vape my product and took it all in in one huge, but slightly broken up hit.
My thoughts: WOW, I can feel the spice entering my system...but my throat feels nothing...am I hitting it? Is this actually vaping? I dunno, just keep inhaling until you can't anymore...oh wow, i definitely feel it coming on but that was so smooth...WHOOSH
At this point i put down/dropped the vg down onto my bed next to me. The entire room was a swirling vortex of blue-ish energy. For the first time in a long time, my head felt heavy and nodded down...i lost my reclining position from the neck up and felt that this helped to bring on some darker more ominous visions than usual. All of a sudden i heard/saw/felt this alein language, I have no clue what it was, it was entirely unintelligible but it was quite dark in tone...Suddnely I looked "up" a bit and saw this large, blue, male entity in the center of this vortex. He was like a cross between my avatar and Dr. Manhattan. He was speaking in the strange dialect and initailly, I couldn't understand him. His tone seemed to be harsh, almost accusatory and I have a sense that he was pointing or gesturing at me. I felt this negative enrgy wash over me and suddenly found myself confronted by things in my psyche, choices I'm not happy with, compromises i've made when I shouldn't, lifestyle aspects that I know I need to change but haven't due to lack of energy or doing other things, all of this roiled up in my consciousness and I suddenly felt very depressed, unhappy and scared.
I felt completely out of whack...uh oh, dmt mindfuck. Luckily I had taken a low enough dose that it wasn't too severe and had no looping, I just felt incredibly dissatisfied with certain aspects of my being. I began to get more depressed....breath deep...this too shall pass. I rolled my shoulders from side to side, trying to get comfortable between the pillows at my back and the blankets that were covering me. I realized I had been completely distracted and lost within myself. Upon this realization I looked up again and saw that the entity was still present, maybe directing my mind down these paths? I am unsure. Suddenly, despite not understanding his words, the essence of his message clarified in my mind. He points at me and I Understand "The things I am not happy with in my life, I need to change myself" wow, duh? but as with all enlightenment it was staring me in the face the whole time, I just couldn't see it.
[A Brief Tangent]
Kartikay was talking about spice helping you skip Maslow's hierarchy of needs the other day in chat. I told him I didn't think it skipped you past it, just rapidly accelerated the whole self actualization part of it. THIS is exactly what I was talking about. I know that I need to change the things I'm unhappy with, but to have a hyperspatial/pandimensional entity smack you in the face with that knowledge, well that can truly light a fire up under your ass. [Fin]
At this point I am still feeling somewhat down, struggling with the weight of the knowledge of things that need to be changed, but as the entity and patterns begin to fade, I open my eyes, ready to be out of that space. With each passing second I become more and more elated. I am ALIVE. I am REBORN. All i can say is "what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the" over and over again, then giggle for a bit, then say "holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit" I'm laughing, I'm shocked, I put my glasses back on and after a second or two, smack myself in the face, knocking them off. Yes there's work to be done, but that work is called Life! I can do my work by living my life as I need to, changing the things I need to change to better my life and well-being and thus better those around me as well.
I can't be alone, I'm grinning like an idiot, I don't really want to talk about what just happened and I've pretty much been through the ecstasy part of the afterglow, so I make my way downstairs and grin like a moron at my two roommates who are downstairs doing stuff. One of them knows exactly what's up as I was telling him/showed/let him hit an herbal blend outta the VG and he's like...so the new piece is good stuff, huh? All i could do was laugh and nod vigorously. My other roommate was drunk and had no clue what was going on, so he and i just talked about pointless stuff, while we both stood in the kitchen with massive grins on our faces (albeit for different reasons, although he was telling a funny story). Suddenly the post-spice shivers rack my body and its hard to stand, so i pace around for a while, talking and chuckling, completely in awe of what I just witnessed. I made my way back upstairs, packed a fat bowl in my new bong (it's awesome, it has a multicolored glass 420 diffuser, like the number is in the bong as a difuser, its nuts) and just lay in bed reflecting all that I had had just partaken in. Shortly after I went to bed, having an extremely fitful night's sleep.
The GVG is amazing for so many reasons, I need to make a big batch of changa and continue this work. I'm hoping that the lack of harsh hits will allow me to dive deeper with multi-breakthrough sessions on a level unmatched by any other apparatus. I love you all so much and am eternally grateful for both the "physical" construct of the nexus as well as the community behind it.
peace and love
SB
