I know this belongs in the Experiences forum but I wanted to share it with you guys even though I normally lurk.
For weeks and weeks, I have been feeling the call of the wild – no I’m not talking about going out into the wild like McCandless or Treadwell, a relentless beckoning from the other side. Whenever I felt this call, I told myself over and over that this wasn’t the right time. I’m nowhere near a stable frame of mind. If I answered the call at last, what kind of unleashed terror would I see through an unfocused and unhappy ego? Depression and DMT don’t go together.
Yet I heeded the call today – March 5, 2011. I had extracted about 1g worth of DMT a few months back. After a few misfires due to weak lungs and the acrid smoke, I gave up on smoking DMT even though my friends came back in awe of the experience they had. I wanted to be completely sure of a breakthrough.
Enter Syrian Rue. I mashed up 3 grams of Syrian Rue seeds with a hammer. The aroma was reminiscent of bad coffee. I added the powder to boiling water. To help bring out the alkaloids, I added about a half cup of orange juice (citric acid, but any edible acid will do the trick). While the goop was boiling down to a fourth of its original volume, I measured out 154 mg of DMT. The DMT was rolled up in some bread – a bread pill if you will. Keep in mind I’m 200 pounds.
The tea was foul and bitter but diluting it with more orange juice helped me choke it down. My friends and I enjoyed a nice bowl while I drank the juice. About thirty minutes later, a feeling distinct from the usual haze of marijuana emerged. This was the MAOIs kicking in. It was time to heed the call of the wild.
0:00 – Down goes the bread, chased by more OJ. The movie was L – Change the World.
0:10 – The MAOI effects intensified. There was a subtle psychedelic feeling, like the gears of the mind have begun to crank, like a train slowly speeding up.
0:20 – Thoughts of “it didn’t work” crossed my mind. The high of the weed was still going strong. With each minute, layer after layer of ‘subtle psychedelic feeling’ was added but I attributed it to a possible placebo effect, the pessimist I am.
I had a strange vision in my head – which a group of ancient tribesmen had come to the house. They encircled the house with some kind of shamanistic drums and began to chant, channeling the psychedelic energy towards me.
0:30 – Definitely coming up. When I closed my eyes to check for CEVs, I was rewarded with a slowly blooming cascade of stunningly simple fractals. Still preferring consensus reality, I kept my eyes open although that didn’t matter for long.
0:45 – My legs started to tense, a prelude of the massive body load I would get. Stretching, walking, exercising did not help the tension. As the movie continued, I increasingly became distracted by the slight disturbances in my visual field. Curtains waved as if it were breezing. The room distorted and skewered.
1:00 – Slipping into dreamland, feeling like hours had passed, I beheld the first incredible hallucination of the night. As I closed my eyes, a form quickly coalesced out of the fractal goop. It was God. There are a million names for this being – God is the most convenient label. It had a chiseled man’s torso and arms. In place of hands, God had biomechanical machines, more complex than anything out of Transformers, scrolling through hues and saturations.
God’s face was spectacular. A slowly revolving hypercube housed a dizzying complex of machines, processing yottabytes of data in milliseconds. Occasionally, the hypercube would erupt with a shower of brilliant hues. God, the puppet master, was wavering and dancing. It tried to communicate to me with some kind of alien sign language. The complexness became too much so I opened my eyes.
1:20 - Candyland. Boil a pot of water. One second, it’s simmering but the next second, it’s at a rolling boil. Usually, thoughts come in a linear manner. One idea after another. But for this night, I was bombarded with ideas and trains of thoughts, all independent of each other. It was as if my internal CPU got upgraded from a 700 MHz processor to a quad-core 3 GHz processer.
The hallucinations kept stacking on top of each other, rooms became impossible – the ceiling tilted down ominously, the walls panted and heaved, the carpet alive with a thousand faces every square inch. This was getting to be too much! A fake house plant was roaring, with angry twisted faces leaping out at me.
1:30 – Around this time, my friends tell me that the trip took a turn for the worse. I quickly regressed into a little scared kid, cowering in fear from the hallucinations. I tried my best to mentally block out the intense hallucinations.
From here and out, I kept asking my friends what the time was every fifteen seconds. Between these benchmarks, it seemed like an eternity lost in thought and visuals. When my friends answered my questions, I could not simply comprehend the nature of numbers or the meaning of time. Time went out of the window.
1:45 – I continued to regress, mentally blocking the visuals but still getting an intense emotional trip. I kept asking to hug my friends (I’m not a hugger normally). I kept doing that and it helped somewhat to fend off the bad feelings. When my friends left the room, I felt like a little kid lost at the mall, separated from his parents.
I looked around at my surroundings. I noticed some debris on the floor (our vacuum is broken) and my visual field immediately picked out all other debris, sort of like black light and blood stains. I realized just how messy and cluttered the house was. The mess grew and grew as I noticed every stain, closing on me.
2:30 – At this point, I must’ve slipped into some kind of hallucinatory coma because when I opened my eyes again, I was lying in my bed, feeling sick and uneasy. I asked for a cigarette, knowing that it’d further dampen the trip.
I returned to the living room to watch a movie, thinking that doing something rather than just sitting around idly would help my trip. Family Guy was on but each scene was so slow, almost so slow I could see each individual frame. I was told later on that I was talking very fast. It’s just a 720p TV but it seemed to take on a magical 3D quality. The saturated colors spilled out of the TV and made other objects just as saturated as Family Guy’s drawing style.
3:00 – the end of the trip was finally in sight. I could now feel the passage of time although it was still radically slowed. Bizarre thoughts wracked my brain. I was convinced that my two friends and I were really just manifestations of the same person. I was them and they were me.
I also was convinced that I had been tripping for days and days, that I was stuck in this state. An infinite loop if you will. Before the trip, I knew that I would be significantly down by midnight (4 hours) so I kept looking at the clock, some sort of an anchor for me.
3:15 – The hallucinations ebbed away. The bizarre ideas stopped bothering me but I still felt loaded with “subtle psychedelic feeling” and that hateful body load. I took a cold shower and threw up. These two simultaneous feelings were incredible. Ever had a shit that felt really good? Same feeling tenfold.
3:30 – I started talking about my experience so I would be able to remember details later.
4:00 – Midnight. Trip’s over. I was impressed at how precise the timing was. I was absolutely clear-headed although shaken, as if crying for hours and hours.
I’m still reeling from the experience and nuances of it are still jumping out at me. Some lessons that I learned:
1. Don’t ever take DMT when you aren’t in a good mood. I know I’m being hypocritical but jeez, the horrors that it can unleash isn’t worth it.
2. Be in a clean house. Preparing your surroundings beforehand will help tremendously.
3. Forget about time. For these four hours, time is suspended.
4. Any route of administration will take you to hyperspace. Smoked DMT is a rocket hurtling through hyperspace at unimaginable speeds. Oral DMT with MAOIs is like riding a bullet train through hyperspace. Not as intense and swift as smoked DMT but still damn intense.
