Changafarian
((((((O))))))
Weight: 75 kg
Height:1.7m approx(dont measure my height too often)
Recent use:substance free the entire day just a dmt journey the night before
Last meal:a bowl of curry and rice 4 hours before
Dose: 8 grams exactly,weighed out and the works of psilocybe cubensis(texans)a brand that has been working for me throughout the years.
First a breakdown i feel is neccasary,this is going to be long,very long and i appreciate all who reads it through i believe it will be well worth your time throughout my life up until now officially i have struggled to find something im good at or finding a specific talent i bounced between endeavors i thought that if i get good at,i could be seen as a talented person just because of a false perception that what people glorify as talent is exactly what it is and like i said its been a major struggle for long to integrate myself with a place for me where i can flourish and be good at something.my shortcomings were vast i sucked at maths(still do)physics i cant comprehend which had me at a stage believe im stupid or mentally handicapped,biology treated me well and art but i didnt shine in that category i might have with art but ive been a bit lazy and with the thing of feeling not really good at the things i do i tended to lose interest quickly with projects and such and also being discouraged by people who could do better and their egos crushing me down
Anyways this has never had me major depressed but it got me down at times,and eventually just made an alternate world i lived in which made it more difficult to integrate as i was severely detached(focusing and paying attention seemed nearly impossible as i would constantly wander off into this world of infinite possibilties and out of the one that kept me feeling i cant do anything right in it
more about my methods:since i can remember i had the hobby which seems alot like an addiction actually of removing the cotton from cotton buds and bending them into a shape consistently the top part bending and the underneath remaining straight that shape made it nice for me to imitate with the stick the thoughts im creating making it feel great along with the stories i made up in my head kind of presenting it to me and making it just work great and i would sit hours going at this wherever i wanted but mostly in secret where no one can see because when i was still a boy i would literally speak whats going on in my head while playing with the instrument and it got people thinking im weird as hell,freak was a regular word,other kids teased me by taking it away from me and it made me go insane i got violent and then would be reprimanded for hurting the other kids(who intentionally wanted to get me angry)
throughout life if i get seperated it becomes similiar to an addict losing his fix and i would immediatly forge another as soon as possible and felt lost without one,as i grew the perception of me being weird and all that nonsense got to me and i did it more secretivley hiding it inmy pocket when meeting new people playing with it only staring at it and speaking the words inmy head silent which then again looked even more weird if i think about it as i would be sitting in a praying position playing with it inmy hands and staring deep into it everyone i trusted i felt comfortable with this object as they tended to just accept it as ya its a part of him anyway his fun regardless or whatnot but no one could see what i see so i tended to leave it unexlplained until now.
so you might think what does all this crap have to do with an 8g mushroom trip so ill bore you no further and get this trip report going once again bare with me.
Trip Report finally:
I obtained the mushies originally with the aim of going for a 6 gram experience my most ever being a 4gram which was already pretty hardcore but then i thought i never personally heard from someone who took more than 6 so i thought ill be that guy why not,went home took a shower and the trial began,i took the first 2 with a teaspoon of pure honey and masticated away,after 5 mins the next 2 same way not i waited a while read some stuff on the nexus
and began slipping far away already logged out and started getting some discomforts which was,nausea,very cold and i got several twitches and some just genreal bodily discomfort so i refrained from the rest for about 30 mins just to let it settle i warmed myself ate the 6th when the nausea calmed down,at this point the mushrooms looked like little babies lying in my hands were faces would appear and they were crying in my hands which took quite a bit of thought before i could eat them as it went down i gagged in a way that was kind of amusing and i laughed at myself in quiet
my setting wouldnt allow me to make much noise as it was a weeknight and most people had to go to work,im currently on holiday,i had earphones but i couldnt get myself to put them on and listen to music because i constantly just wanted to think the whole time,had all kinds of personal thoughts family,friends events etc etc and reflected on them and myself.
At some point i turned off the lights and lay underneath my blanket and was greeted by the most beatiful colours of neon green purple and black and it got really weird life forms started appearing seeming like intertwined insectoid parasitic beings with tentacles with eyes all over the place and they literally communicated with we have something to show you a blossom which looked similair too a gooseberry opened and these tongues and sharp needle like vines came out at tat point the whole "we have something to show you"presented to me in a kind of freaking weird way of something looking like its gonna probe me with those things got me instinctively getting up and switching the light on and going back eventually to thinking about the shallow personal things.
then the 8th was consumed and the trip resumed its current course by this time i was really tripping quite hard and i was quite struggling with my body to get it to relax i was bbed with all kinds of visual mutations but i felt a chased the multi dimensional beings away with my cowardice,the trip broke even and i manged to get all the uncomforts away and it took on a plateau and everything came to an equilibrium this is something common with me and shrooms,you work yourself through a difficult time and break through into pure euphoria but with the doses at time just went into a sort of sober state but just feeling very good and and the fuzziness of visual distortion would subside into rather crystal clear hd like vision which i wasnt too fond of because it seemed like super sober with a fix on the 4 grams i experienced beforehand a couple of times.
when the plateau reached i came to the conclusion ok its subsiding you messed it up and i felt the your not ready feeling so i lay back closed my eyes(lights on)and then......
i felt and heard in the distant music like sounds coming and i saw these creatures slowly creeping up again slowly manifesting back i knew then that i had to let it go on without freaking out again and i allwed everything that came to take its course and i was then knocked so far away i will try best to describe in as much detail as i can.I
the music seemed like a metronome to something and the deeper i mentally digged the more clearer it became the more prounounced what im seeing became the music was the most intelligently constructed sound i have ever heard psytrance is the best description but not like any i have ever heard at any of the festivals EVER,the turbo rig did not came close to making it sound so crystal clear it was layered,one sound would echo awy while another of perfect synergy filled the pronounced space while they would be held together by a balancing sound that would pull them together passing through the balance flanging through and swithcing places creating the most stimulating beautiful sound i ever heard carried by a roaring pounding sound that was of a earthshaking magnitude i switched off the lights and the picture became quite different from what i saw it ranged from hideously repulsive but so damn beatifully melded lifeforms of the most outer dimensional construction i have ever seen it would become perverse it would change to asexual to emoitionless to just extremly overwhelming with the colours purple green pink and black in neon being abundant i cant get it through exactly try as hard as i might but let me give you this it seemd like a living toxic forest with sleek fleshy sking breathing immensly and climbing deeply into me submerging me into an abyss of the treads thats controlling all life.
it was there where they took me to God himself whom i had trouble throughout life grasping what he must be,but as it occured it was similair to when julia showing doctor channard leviathan in the hellraiser movie number 2 hellbound telling him "you wanted to see now you see"and it was the most complex lifeform i had ever seen or thought could exist it was a prism shaped pillar in a black infinite abyss with eyes all over some closing as the others opened with a weblike network of veins/neurons emitting from it vibrating intensley as its networks worked its way into every dimsension of what could only be decribed as existence this living device it lacked emotion it was too locked into its function as a neverending living machine of creation it did not seem to feel nor love no fear like it is all projected outwards into the threads its holding the existence of life and space it was breathing creationnif i can put it in those words like the beating heart of all motivated only by its purpose of constantly upholding the infinite.i went somewhere else and the sounds were still going it was neverending
As i was listening to this masterpiece i though the whole world will bow to this piece and you would bombard their senses with throwing this at them and while all this the visuals of this intertwined organic highly evolved liforms slowly started to enlighten me,they telepathicly communicated and presented that they merely provided the metronome this is all your doing keep on going we are loving it,i started making sounds with the spit in my mouth by moving it back and forth while applying pressure with my mouth and it had this crackling snapping sound which got amazing when i applied rythm to it,my fingers started tapping going along it slowly became a symphony as i tapped and pounded on different parts of my body then it got really really intense the sounds in my head was thundering with raw tribal fury i became so swept away that i slipped into a complet state of just not being able to stop i ketp going getting up eventually out of my bed as i was already quite moving and enjoying myself to all the sounds,dancing away moving in a very aggresive yet passionate manner just not being able to enjoy this symhony of raw tribal sound comined with electrical complexity i was just completly lost in it.
it then became clear my future was being shown to me the beings said we will show you all you can be on the condition that you follow through with it i letrally saw it all till the day i die and beyond eventually becoming with them,all i have seen the past few hours or so has been my heaven shown to me like this is where you are going we are what you will become when you leave this earth and now we will show you how,you have been led away from the path that was layed out before you by how you allowed others to make you feel and we will set this right as you are destined to be amongst us,they instructed me step by step how i will achieve this they told me about the inner calling musicians hear and how they endlessly pursue to release that into the world and that it was indeed what i am hearing right now and it became clear this is what im meant to do this is who i am through years of confusion through lifes obstacles i was drawn away from this and i should follow the calling and make the music i hear inside(the silence i was forced to be in allowed me to hear this and a friend once told me all sound comes from silence,helluva insight and i finally understand now)when life gets too loud submerge yourself in the silence if music is indeed your thing and refrain from the sounds of others as it may simply leave you in admiration of them without releasing whats on your inside(im not saying dont listen to the works of others since their infuence could work well)but to me personally i decided to for the time being i will refrain from any and all other music to perfect this sound that is mine undistracted.
it got really intense the sound was just intensifying and getting more intense along with my banging and tapping antics it got to a point where i felt i have to stop because i felt my body getting exhausted but i just couldnt i didnt want to lose what i have going right now,it got to the point where i alone solidly projected my sounds towards these beings and they were later starting to dance and enjoy the sounds that i projected.like i was literally at a point of providing them with entertainment and the loved the sounds i made quite passionalty and open some even started mating and embracing each other so swept away by it themselves it got really sort of sexual.
i went to lay down on my back ad started tapping against my chest with my fingers really well too (this habit came from a while back in 5th grade there was a african boy in my class who showed us all of the sounds he can make by tapping on the wooden floors and he was so amazing and it stuck with me and i would constantly tap and bang on school desks table surfaces,pipes any damn thing with a sort of acoustic and it also never realy passed me by)and this i found combined with the years of playing with the cotton swab stick with the cotton removed have exercised my fingers so well over the years without my knowing that i was able to move my fingers really fast and really well that i could create the most amazing rolling continuem of a sort of really powerfull drumming that invokes a sort of animilistic energy into me im curious at what effect this would have on people and i aim to find out very soon as im planning on making something more of this definatly.it wont go to waste.
i would too slam my back every now and again to the ground and it made a very nice bass drum kind of like effect and as i switched from the tapping one hand would keep on tapping for the rolling and the other would form a fist and slam to different arts of my chest and the combination was GREAT,i loved for once completely something i did and found no fault in it and felt no one else could either or the universe would just strike them dead for that hahahah.
here it gets quite messy but no worries since as you read further it changes alot,amongst the huge multidimensional orgy that was happening around me by the sounds emerged a sort of supreme like alpha female amongs them like the big bitch,her body would constanlty slip from fat to voluptios to slender and curvy and her head was a blossomlike shape opening and tentacles with eyes at the tips and moving all the way down more alot like octapus arms but instead of suction cups eyes,it was like she was roaring of orgasm as it was quite scary and she relentlessy charged towards me ready to mount herself on me and screw the living daylights out of me out of repulsion by her demeneor i blocked her mentally from violating me and she then disentegrated and the remains re arranged and into the most beautiful women long brown hair with her hair around her head braided like a crown while the rest is hanging straight down and she cradled my head and applauded me with gentle carees and the most amazing love i ever felt i calmed down alot very tired but still going with my sounds but it eased down and i came to the clear conclusion this was mother nature herslef with me
she then gave me visions of myself playing all alone in nature drumming it out and the animals and all the plants loving the sounds it took a drastic change at this point,it smoothened out and i was overwhelmed with bliss love and peace and the message came through you dont need those electronic roars or noise you have it all in you in your fingers in your brain all all through you,you have been given the recipe of rythm and use it well for the good,help others,heal the world with it by showing them the ways of mother nature they have forgotten remind the troubled musicians of the voice that drove them to do what they did at first before all the drugs and confusion(my next step buy me a friggin djembe drum)i fell deeply in love with this women and then it got very deep and what i was left with only a wow and it changed me forever can feel it even as im tycping
i fell deeply inlove with this women mother nature and im thinking i cant be in a romantic ivolvement with her since its a bit delusional and then the thought branched down what of mother natures daughter am i yet to find her and then my first and only ever girlfriend which i broke up with about months ago came into my trip,it has been the most painfull experience of my life as the ones who been there knows that heartbreak is one of the worst
im thinking was it,her was she the daughter mother nature gave birth to for me did i ket it slip through my fingers being stupid,as we shared love and she came as i gift into my life with the absensce of girlfriends and love in general sometthing i never cared for until it happened but with time it turned out her interest were elsewhere in life and had differnet plan in her life that didnt correspond well with mine our personalities clashed alot so fights ensued and eventually the breakup,i was so devastasted that i told her i never want to see you again buried her entire existence in a very deep hatred i got for her and basicly trew her away in my life she tried to communicate back at times to keep in touch with sms and all that despite me closing off all forms of communications we had with that being the only way but out of my anger i ignored it and went on for months straight just hating her
eventually i found out she moved on with someone else which didnt bother me since well i hated her still alot so back to the trip it got to me by thinking damn maybe i screwed up but i thought more thoroughly and thought she chose the way to view life and do the things she did because of the way her life had influenced her when i was busy being influenced by mine her view is hers wether its right or wrong its the way she chose and therefore she is now gone and you are living seperated she moved on you did too but with other things than her and quite happy,but then just the whole mother natures chosen one thing got a bit to me that mabye she was but theres no changing that now its gone way too far apart for a little too long but as of yesterday i have forgiven her finally havent spoken to her neither will i as i will not influence her path any further as her discovery will come through herself and that is the way it should be,but i finally felt the burden of the hatred leave me and it was a weight off my shoulders i can tell you.
so i thougth but mother nature has many daughters and then again a changed occured where the conclusion came that all the daughters has been confused in life with with the conventional norms made a part of their instincts and being me i cant live with that in threat of my already fragile self esteem and seemed content that the way itt will be from now on probably till the day i die and become part of that symbiotic life force that is my heaven i will dedictate my life to mother nature and relentlessly pursueing the calling that made me make those amazing sounds i did and nothing will bring me joy like that life would i was blessed to see where my future was heading if i follow through and its a damn promise to the earth mother herslef that its going that direction
as it subsides and i was slowly but surely returning i lay there content and very greatfull for all the enlightenment and all the burdens removed and i will say that psilocybin is a great teacher and a great deal of love will be inmy heart for them and the gates they opened
if you got this far im very greatfull and also amazed at all the rambling you endured much love therefore.
i am forever changed
Changafarian
Height:1.7m approx(dont measure my height too often)
Recent use:substance free the entire day just a dmt journey the night before
Last meal:a bowl of curry and rice 4 hours before
Dose: 8 grams exactly,weighed out and the works of psilocybe cubensis(texans)a brand that has been working for me throughout the years.
First a breakdown i feel is neccasary,this is going to be long,very long and i appreciate all who reads it through i believe it will be well worth your time throughout my life up until now officially i have struggled to find something im good at or finding a specific talent i bounced between endeavors i thought that if i get good at,i could be seen as a talented person just because of a false perception that what people glorify as talent is exactly what it is and like i said its been a major struggle for long to integrate myself with a place for me where i can flourish and be good at something.my shortcomings were vast i sucked at maths(still do)physics i cant comprehend which had me at a stage believe im stupid or mentally handicapped,biology treated me well and art but i didnt shine in that category i might have with art but ive been a bit lazy and with the thing of feeling not really good at the things i do i tended to lose interest quickly with projects and such and also being discouraged by people who could do better and their egos crushing me down
Anyways this has never had me major depressed but it got me down at times,and eventually just made an alternate world i lived in which made it more difficult to integrate as i was severely detached(focusing and paying attention seemed nearly impossible as i would constantly wander off into this world of infinite possibilties and out of the one that kept me feeling i cant do anything right in it
more about my methods:since i can remember i had the hobby which seems alot like an addiction actually of removing the cotton from cotton buds and bending them into a shape consistently the top part bending and the underneath remaining straight that shape made it nice for me to imitate with the stick the thoughts im creating making it feel great along with the stories i made up in my head kind of presenting it to me and making it just work great and i would sit hours going at this wherever i wanted but mostly in secret where no one can see because when i was still a boy i would literally speak whats going on in my head while playing with the instrument and it got people thinking im weird as hell,freak was a regular word,other kids teased me by taking it away from me and it made me go insane i got violent and then would be reprimanded for hurting the other kids(who intentionally wanted to get me angry)
throughout life if i get seperated it becomes similiar to an addict losing his fix and i would immediatly forge another as soon as possible and felt lost without one,as i grew the perception of me being weird and all that nonsense got to me and i did it more secretivley hiding it inmy pocket when meeting new people playing with it only staring at it and speaking the words inmy head silent which then again looked even more weird if i think about it as i would be sitting in a praying position playing with it inmy hands and staring deep into it everyone i trusted i felt comfortable with this object as they tended to just accept it as ya its a part of him anyway his fun regardless or whatnot but no one could see what i see so i tended to leave it unexlplained until now.
so you might think what does all this crap have to do with an 8g mushroom trip so ill bore you no further and get this trip report going once again bare with me.
Trip Report finally:
I obtained the mushies originally with the aim of going for a 6 gram experience my most ever being a 4gram which was already pretty hardcore but then i thought i never personally heard from someone who took more than 6 so i thought ill be that guy why not,went home took a shower and the trial began,i took the first 2 with a teaspoon of pure honey and masticated away,after 5 mins the next 2 same way not i waited a while read some stuff on the nexus
and began slipping far away already logged out and started getting some discomforts which was,nausea,very cold and i got several twitches and some just genreal bodily discomfort so i refrained from the rest for about 30 mins just to let it settle i warmed myself ate the 6th when the nausea calmed down,at this point the mushrooms looked like little babies lying in my hands were faces would appear and they were crying in my hands which took quite a bit of thought before i could eat them as it went down i gagged in a way that was kind of amusing and i laughed at myself in quietmy setting wouldnt allow me to make much noise as it was a weeknight and most people had to go to work,im currently on holiday,i had earphones but i couldnt get myself to put them on and listen to music because i constantly just wanted to think the whole time,had all kinds of personal thoughts family,friends events etc etc and reflected on them and myself.
At some point i turned off the lights and lay underneath my blanket and was greeted by the most beatiful colours of neon green purple and black and it got really weird life forms started appearing seeming like intertwined insectoid parasitic beings with tentacles with eyes all over the place and they literally communicated with we have something to show you a blossom which looked similair too a gooseberry opened and these tongues and sharp needle like vines came out at tat point the whole "we have something to show you"presented to me in a kind of freaking weird way of something looking like its gonna probe me with those things got me instinctively getting up and switching the light on and going back eventually to thinking about the shallow personal things.
then the 8th was consumed and the trip resumed its current course by this time i was really tripping quite hard and i was quite struggling with my body to get it to relax i was bbed with all kinds of visual mutations but i felt a chased the multi dimensional beings away with my cowardice,the trip broke even and i manged to get all the uncomforts away and it took on a plateau and everything came to an equilibrium this is something common with me and shrooms,you work yourself through a difficult time and break through into pure euphoria but with the doses at time just went into a sort of sober state but just feeling very good and and the fuzziness of visual distortion would subside into rather crystal clear hd like vision which i wasnt too fond of because it seemed like super sober with a fix on the 4 grams i experienced beforehand a couple of times.
when the plateau reached i came to the conclusion ok its subsiding you messed it up and i felt the your not ready feeling so i lay back closed my eyes(lights on)and then......
i felt and heard in the distant music like sounds coming and i saw these creatures slowly creeping up again slowly manifesting back i knew then that i had to let it go on without freaking out again and i allwed everything that came to take its course and i was then knocked so far away i will try best to describe in as much detail as i can.I
the music seemed like a metronome to something and the deeper i mentally digged the more clearer it became the more prounounced what im seeing became the music was the most intelligently constructed sound i have ever heard psytrance is the best description but not like any i have ever heard at any of the festivals EVER,the turbo rig did not came close to making it sound so crystal clear it was layered,one sound would echo awy while another of perfect synergy filled the pronounced space while they would be held together by a balancing sound that would pull them together passing through the balance flanging through and swithcing places creating the most stimulating beautiful sound i ever heard carried by a roaring pounding sound that was of a earthshaking magnitude i switched off the lights and the picture became quite different from what i saw it ranged from hideously repulsive but so damn beatifully melded lifeforms of the most outer dimensional construction i have ever seen it would become perverse it would change to asexual to emoitionless to just extremly overwhelming with the colours purple green pink and black in neon being abundant i cant get it through exactly try as hard as i might but let me give you this it seemd like a living toxic forest with sleek fleshy sking breathing immensly and climbing deeply into me submerging me into an abyss of the treads thats controlling all life.
it was there where they took me to God himself whom i had trouble throughout life grasping what he must be,but as it occured it was similair to when julia showing doctor channard leviathan in the hellraiser movie number 2 hellbound telling him "you wanted to see now you see"and it was the most complex lifeform i had ever seen or thought could exist it was a prism shaped pillar in a black infinite abyss with eyes all over some closing as the others opened with a weblike network of veins/neurons emitting from it vibrating intensley as its networks worked its way into every dimsension of what could only be decribed as existence this living device it lacked emotion it was too locked into its function as a neverending living machine of creation it did not seem to feel nor love no fear like it is all projected outwards into the threads its holding the existence of life and space it was breathing creationnif i can put it in those words like the beating heart of all motivated only by its purpose of constantly upholding the infinite.i went somewhere else and the sounds were still going it was neverending
As i was listening to this masterpiece i though the whole world will bow to this piece and you would bombard their senses with throwing this at them and while all this the visuals of this intertwined organic highly evolved liforms slowly started to enlighten me,they telepathicly communicated and presented that they merely provided the metronome this is all your doing keep on going we are loving it,i started making sounds with the spit in my mouth by moving it back and forth while applying pressure with my mouth and it had this crackling snapping sound which got amazing when i applied rythm to it,my fingers started tapping going along it slowly became a symphony as i tapped and pounded on different parts of my body then it got really really intense the sounds in my head was thundering with raw tribal fury i became so swept away that i slipped into a complet state of just not being able to stop i ketp going getting up eventually out of my bed as i was already quite moving and enjoying myself to all the sounds,dancing away moving in a very aggresive yet passionate manner just not being able to enjoy this symhony of raw tribal sound comined with electrical complexity i was just completly lost in it.
it then became clear my future was being shown to me the beings said we will show you all you can be on the condition that you follow through with it i letrally saw it all till the day i die and beyond eventually becoming with them,all i have seen the past few hours or so has been my heaven shown to me like this is where you are going we are what you will become when you leave this earth and now we will show you how,you have been led away from the path that was layed out before you by how you allowed others to make you feel and we will set this right as you are destined to be amongst us,they instructed me step by step how i will achieve this they told me about the inner calling musicians hear and how they endlessly pursue to release that into the world and that it was indeed what i am hearing right now and it became clear this is what im meant to do this is who i am through years of confusion through lifes obstacles i was drawn away from this and i should follow the calling and make the music i hear inside(the silence i was forced to be in allowed me to hear this and a friend once told me all sound comes from silence,helluva insight and i finally understand now)when life gets too loud submerge yourself in the silence if music is indeed your thing and refrain from the sounds of others as it may simply leave you in admiration of them without releasing whats on your inside(im not saying dont listen to the works of others since their infuence could work well)but to me personally i decided to for the time being i will refrain from any and all other music to perfect this sound that is mine undistracted.
it got really intense the sound was just intensifying and getting more intense along with my banging and tapping antics it got to a point where i felt i have to stop because i felt my body getting exhausted but i just couldnt i didnt want to lose what i have going right now,it got to the point where i alone solidly projected my sounds towards these beings and they were later starting to dance and enjoy the sounds that i projected.like i was literally at a point of providing them with entertainment and the loved the sounds i made quite passionalty and open some even started mating and embracing each other so swept away by it themselves it got really sort of sexual.
i went to lay down on my back ad started tapping against my chest with my fingers really well too (this habit came from a while back in 5th grade there was a african boy in my class who showed us all of the sounds he can make by tapping on the wooden floors and he was so amazing and it stuck with me and i would constantly tap and bang on school desks table surfaces,pipes any damn thing with a sort of acoustic and it also never realy passed me by)and this i found combined with the years of playing with the cotton swab stick with the cotton removed have exercised my fingers so well over the years without my knowing that i was able to move my fingers really fast and really well that i could create the most amazing rolling continuem of a sort of really powerfull drumming that invokes a sort of animilistic energy into me im curious at what effect this would have on people and i aim to find out very soon as im planning on making something more of this definatly.it wont go to waste.
i would too slam my back every now and again to the ground and it made a very nice bass drum kind of like effect and as i switched from the tapping one hand would keep on tapping for the rolling and the other would form a fist and slam to different arts of my chest and the combination was GREAT,i loved for once completely something i did and found no fault in it and felt no one else could either or the universe would just strike them dead for that hahahah.
here it gets quite messy but no worries since as you read further it changes alot,amongst the huge multidimensional orgy that was happening around me by the sounds emerged a sort of supreme like alpha female amongs them like the big bitch,her body would constanlty slip from fat to voluptios to slender and curvy and her head was a blossomlike shape opening and tentacles with eyes at the tips and moving all the way down more alot like octapus arms but instead of suction cups eyes,it was like she was roaring of orgasm as it was quite scary and she relentlessy charged towards me ready to mount herself on me and screw the living daylights out of me out of repulsion by her demeneor i blocked her mentally from violating me and she then disentegrated and the remains re arranged and into the most beautiful women long brown hair with her hair around her head braided like a crown while the rest is hanging straight down and she cradled my head and applauded me with gentle carees and the most amazing love i ever felt i calmed down alot very tired but still going with my sounds but it eased down and i came to the clear conclusion this was mother nature herslef with me
she then gave me visions of myself playing all alone in nature drumming it out and the animals and all the plants loving the sounds it took a drastic change at this point,it smoothened out and i was overwhelmed with bliss love and peace and the message came through you dont need those electronic roars or noise you have it all in you in your fingers in your brain all all through you,you have been given the recipe of rythm and use it well for the good,help others,heal the world with it by showing them the ways of mother nature they have forgotten remind the troubled musicians of the voice that drove them to do what they did at first before all the drugs and confusion(my next step buy me a friggin djembe drum)i fell deeply in love with this women and then it got very deep and what i was left with only a wow and it changed me forever can feel it even as im tycping
i fell deeply inlove with this women mother nature and im thinking i cant be in a romantic ivolvement with her since its a bit delusional and then the thought branched down what of mother natures daughter am i yet to find her and then my first and only ever girlfriend which i broke up with about months ago came into my trip,it has been the most painfull experience of my life as the ones who been there knows that heartbreak is one of the worst
im thinking was it,her was she the daughter mother nature gave birth to for me did i ket it slip through my fingers being stupid,as we shared love and she came as i gift into my life with the absensce of girlfriends and love in general sometthing i never cared for until it happened but with time it turned out her interest were elsewhere in life and had differnet plan in her life that didnt correspond well with mine our personalities clashed alot so fights ensued and eventually the breakup,i was so devastasted that i told her i never want to see you again buried her entire existence in a very deep hatred i got for her and basicly trew her away in my life she tried to communicate back at times to keep in touch with sms and all that despite me closing off all forms of communications we had with that being the only way but out of my anger i ignored it and went on for months straight just hating her
eventually i found out she moved on with someone else which didnt bother me since well i hated her still alot so back to the trip it got to me by thinking damn maybe i screwed up but i thought more thoroughly and thought she chose the way to view life and do the things she did because of the way her life had influenced her when i was busy being influenced by mine her view is hers wether its right or wrong its the way she chose and therefore she is now gone and you are living seperated she moved on you did too but with other things than her and quite happy,but then just the whole mother natures chosen one thing got a bit to me that mabye she was but theres no changing that now its gone way too far apart for a little too long but as of yesterday i have forgiven her finally havent spoken to her neither will i as i will not influence her path any further as her discovery will come through herself and that is the way it should be,but i finally felt the burden of the hatred leave me and it was a weight off my shoulders i can tell you.
so i thougth but mother nature has many daughters and then again a changed occured where the conclusion came that all the daughters has been confused in life with with the conventional norms made a part of their instincts and being me i cant live with that in threat of my already fragile self esteem and seemed content that the way itt will be from now on probably till the day i die and become part of that symbiotic life force that is my heaven i will dedictate my life to mother nature and relentlessly pursueing the calling that made me make those amazing sounds i did and nothing will bring me joy like that life would i was blessed to see where my future was heading if i follow through and its a damn promise to the earth mother herslef that its going that direction
as it subsides and i was slowly but surely returning i lay there content and very greatfull for all the enlightenment and all the burdens removed and i will say that psilocybin is a great teacher and a great deal of love will be inmy heart for them and the gates they opened
if you got this far im very greatfull and also amazed at all the rambling you endured much love therefore.
i am forever changed
Changafarian
