my good and old friend, shaman.

it is nice and comforting to here your words and no i dont take offence at all.

in fact i cant agree more and have made many, many attempts at slowing down or even going off it using dramamine, promethazine, ect and i always end up back in that hellish pit of artificial lighting.

i dont hate doctors i just link them to extream discomfort and pain because i never go unless i MUST meaning cant stop vomiting blood.

i used to enjoy mj but now it is not somthing i choose to do for fun.

i have come to find that it dose indeed make me a dull boy but that can be over come with meditation.

i know a couple monks that smoke hash on a whole other, nother, level.

i can hang but those guys are crazy. they taught me alot about respect for life and self.

i used to trip out on my consumption so much that it just added more anxiety.

this was one of the hardest times i can recall going through.

to me it seemed like the only thing that worked consistanly was now turning on me and working against me!??

mary can be such a bitch.

it was when i stoped questioning myself and just let go that i found mental clarity and relief.

i was smoking well into an ounce a week like 5 grams a day but now can keep it to 2 or perhaps 3 so long as i remember to trust myself and not to judge. be open to lessons tought by the largest to the smallest.

the greatest realazations can some frome the sight of a tiny pebble and also the presance of the great and old sequoia's. the sherman was well into its life when christ touched down.

it really put ME in MY place, so to say

sorry dont mean to ramble i just like to be as truthfull as possible.

damn i need a sweat....

"sucking the dirt" brings back so many memories