Hello trufflz,

Welcome to the Nexus.  Thank you so much for sharing your deep and difficult experience.  Many of us have been to similar territory . . .

I do need to ask you to take a moment though to edit your first paragraph.  Please eliminate any reference to commerce in your post.  Please read this for more information. . .

[URL unfurl="true"]https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/Attitude_Page#No_discussion_on_selling.2C_buying.2C_sourcing.2C_acquiring.2C_pricing.2C_trading_or_smuggling_of_drugs[/URL]

I would encourage you to take a good look around.  Not only are there extraction teks to produce your own DMT in the wiki, but there are a number of section that could help you such as smoking and changa in this area . . Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

Also, you might want to look into meditation or trying to find a very calm, open, welcoming state before dosing.  Go in smiling.  And try to meet whatever comes with surrender, love and acceptance, vowing to figure it all out later.  At least this works for me.  Others may have different opinions.

Also, your sitter could use a bit more experience.  Instead of Sweetie what's wrong with a horror show face how about just a calming presence, smiling, reminding you that you took a drug and that this experience will come to an end.  Reminding your of her love.  Encouraging you to sit back, close your eyes, let go and try to smile and accept.  Once again, this is just one woman's personal opinion on how to improve. things.

And yeah, that dose was crazy high in my opinion.  Correctly vaporizing 25-35 mgs in my glass vaporgenie fully breaks me through every time.  If I tried 65 in that rig I would black out.

I'm so glad you found this place and do hope you will chose to become an active member, to grow and extract your own entheogens in the future, etc.  I encourage you to take a good look around as I sense you will find a lot here to help.

Again, a very warm welcome to you.