The post DMT (Aya) - experience

[Matoskah]

How does my fellow travelers feel about their experiences in retrospect as time passes?

I've always had a increasingly difficult time to remember them; it's like they're being locked away from my mind further and further for each day that passes.

At a certain point I'll even begin to doubt what I actually felt and experienced.

It's a mind-boggling process that always circles me back to the same thought every time: it just is. I can remember thinking and inside my head saying to myself: this is pure psychedelia; there's nothing else to compare it to.

I'll sit in a room feeling warm and a bit nauseated and boom, the room impossibly divides itself into other geometric shapes and colors and no matter how hard I blink or close my eyes, it never ceases but instead rapidly evolves into a otherworldly journey beyond what can be explained.

The forceful and brutal feelings I experience of being melted, melded or e.g. liquefied are like an almost suppressed traumatic memory that sometimes makes themselves re-appear when I'm thinking about my journeys.

Even as I write about this I feel a bit sad because it reminds me of how difficult it can be for me to enjoy life. I sometimes feel as if my experiences have alienated me from other people; it's absurd for me to think that my fellow people haven't experienced such things because of fear or a lack of interest.

The only thing that truly stays with me are the lessons I take with me from each experience; they are heartfelt and some days very challenging to face and to live up to.

 

[Ramma]

Hi Matoskah,

I truly appreciate your post.

Its kind of amazing, but I dont see enough talk about the DMT experience. You hear of methods, of mindless chatter, and its like...yeah, but what about the experience? Wasn't that the most amazing thing ever? What is the science behind this? Whats the MEANING?

Talk about alienation.

Even amongst DMT users, one feels out of touch.

And as for those who dont know...they CANT know.

Theres a reason Gotama The Awakened One, didnt talk of such matters as hyperdimensional travels and complex and multidimensional ultimate truths, unless around Arahants.

If I know your sect, I anticipate your argument. And I havent encountered an original thinker in so long, it seems like everything anyone says is part of some ideology, highly predictable, rehashed, unsophistacated, second hand "knowledge."

"In this world

In this night

Nothing that could be said is true"

As for reminiscing of my experiences...I used to travel using music, so that I can listen to those songs and experience ultimate psychedelia. The songs, with 2 puffs of cannabis, or an Aya tea, will immedietly bring back memories. Chills down my spine. Haunted by what I've seen forever. But also very BLESSED. The whole integration process has given me powers, like being able to see the DMT realm in everything around me, so that there is not one second where I am not in some way reminiscing of my experiences. Also, all my sleep and dreaming process has become multidimensional, and in the minutes between hipnagogia and restful sleep, I always see a mandala and encounter entities and feel COSMIC LOVE.

At some point, I did recognize as part of my superficial identity, that I am a Shaman. For ill or for good, I have the tools and the knowledge that alienate me from the shallowness and simple mindedness of most of the world, and even a vast proportion of intelectuals.

For this, I have decided to not form part of society. And to not let people into my heart who are foolish, and only let those in who are equals or better than me.

And even as a loner, my expression of the knowledge eternal has sent ripples down my circles, so that just recently a friend grew and dosed mushrooms, and told me he talked to a tree and that it was beautiful. Meanwhile, this same person had laughed his head off when I was talking about the DMT experience. Which just goes to show...

 

[Seeingisbelieving]

I really liked these words you both took the time to put down. The music during a trip is seriously life changing. You will never hear music the same way again! That is guaranteed. I've found it difficult to relate the experiences in any way without making others laugh. When telling my experiences out loud to a sober person who has never experienced psychedelic ecstasy, the look on their face, the disconnect, it's somehow the human condition. We forget the oneness that we all come from. The endless awakenings and deaths every moment throughout time. Thankfully, the psychedelic experience allows us to realize that the darkness that is death is only the shadow of life which is the light. I wish for one moment we could all be one.
peace.

 

[Ramma]

I really liked these words you both took the time to put down. The music during a trip is seriously life changing. You will never hear music the same way again! That is guaranteed. I've found it difficult to relate the experiences in any way without making others laugh. When telling my experiences out loud to a sober person who has never experienced psychedelic ecstasy, the look on their face, the disconnect, it's somehow the human condition. We forget the oneness that we all come from. The endless awakenings and deaths every moment throughout time. Thankfully, the psychedelic experience allows us to realize that the darkness that is death is only the shadow of life which is the light. I wish for one moment we could all be one.
peace.

yeah, totally. I feel you brother

 

[Matoskah]

Wow, thanks a lot of for sharing your thoughts Ramma and Seeingisbelieving.

Music can indeed have a profound effect on a journey and even long after said experience re-surface memories or feelings once felt.

Safe travels, friends!