After giving it some thought, I felt like I should tell you guys just a little bit more about me. If you hadn't read my first introduction essay and would like to, the title is "Introductions are at most awkward"
When I was about the age of 6-7, I started to act... different. I started to do things that were out of my control, tapping rhythmically on practically everything, making strange faces often (most common looked almost like a yawn, except that on occasion I would stick my tongue out), I would make strange noises without notice, I became quite disruptive in class. It was after that that I was first diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. I have a very moderate version, including several physical and verbal tics. To put it lightly, elementary school was a living hell. I would become incredibly nervous about becoming disruptive, that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Almost none of the kids could understand what I was going through, most would make fun of me for doing such disruptive and annoying things, some of the students would even accuse me of faking it "just so I could get away with doing all those stupid things" because in their minds, they could not possibly understand the concept of not being able to control oneself. The majority of my classmates took pleasure in making fun of me, often times I would hide in the playground's slide during recess to avoid the bullies.
Some of the teachers couldn't even understand what Tourette's was, my first gym teacher, Mr. Bats, in particular had no understanding of the syndrome, during class he would tell me that if I kept it up (the tic in question: I would roll my head around my shoulders, going one way, than the other), that my head would roll off (I'm being completely serious). Clearly there was little education about the syndrome at this school.
There was one teacher, Mrs. Simpson, who did at least somewhat understand what it was, and she knew that the majority of the time I would be unaware I was tapping on the table, or making strange noises, and she tried to help me to better realize when I was doing it, as to try to get me to stop it as soon as it starts (as to not disrupt class). While in class, when I would start to do a disruptive tic (such as tapping rhythmically or verbal outbursts), instead of stopping class and telling me to stop/telling me stuff like "you're head will roll off", she would simply make me aware of what I was doing simply by saying something as simple as "WEM: tapping" or "WEM: noises" (ok so she used my real name but you get the picture), and continued teaching as if she never said it in the first place. An example of her doing this would be something like: "So whenever you multiply two numbers together, you first write the bigger number on top of the smaller number - WEM: tapping - and then you would multiply the first digit of bottom number by the first digit of the top number - WEM: tapping - and then put the answer below here....". After a while, I began to learn how to 'postpone' the urge to tic, I would allow the pressure and the urges of Tourette's building until I would return from school, where I would be able to vent out and just let the tics go nuts. My older sister however, would become furious of me because my venting would annoy her to no end, so she would become desperate and would occasionally become physically violent (my inkling there is she learned that idea from our parents using spanking as punishment for being defiant, 'parents use pain to get results, so can i'). There are some dark memories from then, and I've come to terms with them since then, especially during the one time while using shrooms (unexpectedly the memories flooded back).
This was serious mental stress, I would hate the idea of going to school some days when I could tell upon waking up that it would be a bad day, other days, I could control it more easily. I at some point was on some medication to try to lessen the symptoms (maybe I was 8?), but I stopped within a matter of weeks because I was quite literally a zombie on that stuff. This continued practically until I was in 6th-7th grade, it was only after that that my control over the tics outweighed its control on me. I would still have uncontrollable tics, but I was able to train myself to a degree on how to transfer the urges from one tic to another (like I would tap my feet instead of doing a verbal outburst). In addition to that, I eventually began to show an immunity to bullies, try as they will, I would not budge or look like their slurs and teasing to me affected me, making most of them give up on trying to tease me. To this day I still have symptoms of my Tourette's on and off (puberty was definitely when it was at its worst for me).
Looking back, I know that some of the methods the teachers tried to use to get me to listen and not be disruptive were less than effective, and even the method that Mrs. Simpson used, while it helped me to not disrupt class as much and made the day flow easier, i'm not sure how a trained psychologist who knows the syndrome better would approve of it. My sister and I have since been, well, as normal as a brother and sister can be, I'm still unsure how much she remembers doing those things, but overall we've made up and don't have any conflicts like them anymore.
At this point most of my friends know I have the syndrome and really couldn't care one way or the other. Occasionally I will have a small outburst, and they will just blow it off claiming "it's just how he is". The only thing that I occasionally will worry about is whether or not my future kid(s) will have it, and what I could do to help them, believe me when I tell you I've thought of scenario after scenario on how to help them out if they inherit it from me. Sure, that's years from now, but even that being said, I would much prefer them to not go through what I had to.
When I was about the age of 6-7, I started to act... different. I started to do things that were out of my control, tapping rhythmically on practically everything, making strange faces often (most common looked almost like a yawn, except that on occasion I would stick my tongue out), I would make strange noises without notice, I became quite disruptive in class. It was after that that I was first diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. I have a very moderate version, including several physical and verbal tics. To put it lightly, elementary school was a living hell. I would become incredibly nervous about becoming disruptive, that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Almost none of the kids could understand what I was going through, most would make fun of me for doing such disruptive and annoying things, some of the students would even accuse me of faking it "just so I could get away with doing all those stupid things" because in their minds, they could not possibly understand the concept of not being able to control oneself. The majority of my classmates took pleasure in making fun of me, often times I would hide in the playground's slide during recess to avoid the bullies.
Some of the teachers couldn't even understand what Tourette's was, my first gym teacher, Mr. Bats, in particular had no understanding of the syndrome, during class he would tell me that if I kept it up (the tic in question: I would roll my head around my shoulders, going one way, than the other), that my head would roll off (I'm being completely serious). Clearly there was little education about the syndrome at this school.
There was one teacher, Mrs. Simpson, who did at least somewhat understand what it was, and she knew that the majority of the time I would be unaware I was tapping on the table, or making strange noises, and she tried to help me to better realize when I was doing it, as to try to get me to stop it as soon as it starts (as to not disrupt class). While in class, when I would start to do a disruptive tic (such as tapping rhythmically or verbal outbursts), instead of stopping class and telling me to stop/telling me stuff like "you're head will roll off", she would simply make me aware of what I was doing simply by saying something as simple as "WEM: tapping" or "WEM: noises" (ok so she used my real name but you get the picture), and continued teaching as if she never said it in the first place. An example of her doing this would be something like: "So whenever you multiply two numbers together, you first write the bigger number on top of the smaller number - WEM: tapping - and then you would multiply the first digit of bottom number by the first digit of the top number - WEM: tapping - and then put the answer below here....". After a while, I began to learn how to 'postpone' the urge to tic, I would allow the pressure and the urges of Tourette's building until I would return from school, where I would be able to vent out and just let the tics go nuts. My older sister however, would become furious of me because my venting would annoy her to no end, so she would become desperate and would occasionally become physically violent (my inkling there is she learned that idea from our parents using spanking as punishment for being defiant, 'parents use pain to get results, so can i'). There are some dark memories from then, and I've come to terms with them since then, especially during the one time while using shrooms (unexpectedly the memories flooded back).
This was serious mental stress, I would hate the idea of going to school some days when I could tell upon waking up that it would be a bad day, other days, I could control it more easily. I at some point was on some medication to try to lessen the symptoms (maybe I was 8?), but I stopped within a matter of weeks because I was quite literally a zombie on that stuff. This continued practically until I was in 6th-7th grade, it was only after that that my control over the tics outweighed its control on me. I would still have uncontrollable tics, but I was able to train myself to a degree on how to transfer the urges from one tic to another (like I would tap my feet instead of doing a verbal outburst). In addition to that, I eventually began to show an immunity to bullies, try as they will, I would not budge or look like their slurs and teasing to me affected me, making most of them give up on trying to tease me. To this day I still have symptoms of my Tourette's on and off (puberty was definitely when it was at its worst for me).
Looking back, I know that some of the methods the teachers tried to use to get me to listen and not be disruptive were less than effective, and even the method that Mrs. Simpson used, while it helped me to not disrupt class as much and made the day flow easier, i'm not sure how a trained psychologist who knows the syndrome better would approve of it. My sister and I have since been, well, as normal as a brother and sister can be, I'm still unsure how much she remembers doing those things, but overall we've made up and don't have any conflicts like them anymore.
At this point most of my friends know I have the syndrome and really couldn't care one way or the other. Occasionally I will have a small outburst, and they will just blow it off claiming "it's just how he is". The only thing that I occasionally will worry about is whether or not my future kid(s) will have it, and what I could do to help them, believe me when I tell you I've thought of scenario after scenario on how to help them out if they inherit it from me. Sure, that's years from now, but even that being said, I would much prefer them to not go through what I had to.
