ThroughTheGlass
Rising Star
I have spent the last couple hours pouring over your incredible forum and decided I had to do what I can to become a part of this community. In the last 2-3 hours I have read so many intelligent and articulate posts, I feel that this is one of the Ivy Leagues of psychedelic forums. With my praise out of the way, allow me to give a brief introduction as to myself and what I hope to gain from interaction with you colorful characters on this forum...
I will keep this short, but I figure some back story of what lead me here may help. I have always had a strong interest in psychedelics from a young age, and began to pursue experiments in my early teen years. I was always drawn to psilocybin and LSD through my teenage years, eventually working my way up to eating massive doses, hoping for a truely intense journey. I never saw a true hallucination, sure there were lots of wavy lines, strange psychological states, echoes etc., but I wanted to experience something real.
As I grew out of adolescence, I enrolled in a scientific glassblowing program to get a degree in scientific lab ware. My true intentions were to produce paraphernalia, but the skills and techniques are all the same. I have since graduated, and have spent the last year and a half living in hermitage in a rural area, spending all of my time blowing glass. Glass means everything to me. I have such respect and care for glass; I have dedicated so much of my time, blood, sweat, and soul to it, to me truly few things take priority over it. During this period of hermitage I have spent little to no time on hallucinogens, which brings me to where I am today.
I have left my hermitage, and come home. I love my work, but I've realized just as much I love people. So I am home now, trying to pursue my skills as well as enjoy a more balanced life. Over the last month, I have rekindled many old friendships that died, some with people and some with molecules; and I have made an incredible new friend as well, which is what brought me to this forum, the spice.
A few weeks ago I went to go see an old friend who heard SWIM was back in town and gave me a call, when I arrived at his house catching up quickly turned into bartering. This old friend goes way back to my early psychedelic years, we have tripped together many many times and always had the same desire to receive some kind of understanding from our journeys. Somewhere in our barter he brought up "the spice" (still a new term to me), he told me it was by far the most intense experience of his life, although not something he would be willing to repeat. Of course SWIM wanted a dose, and being a friend, he of course "hooked it up".
I realize I have written a long introduction, and I apologize if it is abnormal, from this point on I will focus on the spice, and my questions about my experiences.
Two nights later after a little bit of research on the spice SWIM decided to take my voyage. SWIM was with one trusted friend who had smoked spice on one previous occasion. SWIM broke up a small amount of herb into a bubbler, then emptied the contents of the bag of "one dose" of spice into the bowl, then covered it with a little more herb. SWIM finished the entire bowl in one big hit, and even halfway through inhaling the hit SWIM began to feel the physical effects. My friend took the bubbler from me and SWIM was racing full speed ahead into hyperspace. Immediately SWIM felt anxiety, as SWIM had imagined this to just feel like a massive super quick dose of LSD. The physical feeling of being weightless, the humming in my ears, the feeling of vibrating all worried me. SWIM remained functioning long enough to ask "No ones ever died from this stuff right?" then everything turned starting spinning and twisting, getting pulled away from me like the whole world was getting pulled into a black hole, but I would remain in place. As I saw this, to heard a reassuring chuckle and then "Nah man, your fine, just relax".
Then I was gone, I felt like I had completely shut down. I couldn't feel my body, I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed. I could see all black with only a small twinkle of light hovering around. I felt euphoric and amazed, this twinkle of light would roll around and twist itself up in patterns, leaving trails behind. I saw or heard nothing else, but felt a presence of something, almost like when you can feel someone watching you. I began to think I was the twinkle of light, that I was controlling its motions and that all I had become was this little glisten in existence, the idea of this existence made me feel a serenity to which nothing in "reality" can compare. I could not remember who I was, that I had been a human, that humans had existed. All that consumed my reality and thoughts were this light. I began to wonder if I was this light, or if I was simply observing it, either way I was completely ecstatic to be in its presence. After an indeterminite amount of time passed, I suddenly felt jolted back into my body. I was told from secondhand sources that I had sat motionless with my eyes closed for a majority of the time, then 30 seconds before coming out of it began speaking broken phrases that made little sense, then came back. Once coming out of the trance I sat in amazement trying to process what I had just experienced, trying to reframiliarize myself with my physical body and the physical world. After a few moments, I began to feel nauseous and sweat profusely. I have never sweat like this in my life, I literally felt and looked as if I had just jumped into a shower. After a few more minutes the negative side effects passed, and I felt exhausted and went home to bed.
The next day I went and met up with my aformentioned friend, and promptly acquired as much spice as I could. After asking my friend what he gave me as "one dose" and checking on erowid I realized my friend is a little too generous of a friend, as he had given me 150mg as a dose.
Which leads to some of my questions:
1) Most experiences I read of people "breaking through" involves seeing complete hallucinations, i.e. aliens, towns, energies etc. Would my experience be considered "breaking through"?
2) I can find little information about large doses or maybe even overdoses of the spice. I realize now 150mg is a ridiculously large dose, and will be scaling out my own doses from this point on. Was the profuse sweating and nausea an adverse reaction due to overdosing?
3) From what I can find about large doses, it seems that after doses get big enough people black out. I was in a trance for almost 20-30 minutes before I came back to my body, is it possible that maybe a lot more happened on my trip, but all I can remember is the ball of light? Because I can remember the trip VERY vividly.
I feel like this substance is the most miraculous tool I have ever experienced, I cannot believe something so divine exists. That first experience was about a month ago now, and still my interest in the spice continues to grow. On a certain level I feel like maybe I am becoming obsessed with it, I am spending most of my free time researching the spice, its effects, and more interestingly now, this forum. I have been feeling unmotivated and bored with my life as of late, and I feel like this experienced has awakened me from a lethargic state of life. I realize I have written a long introduction, and I appreciate anyone who took the time to read, I have been utterly amazed/obsessed and this place feels like mecca.
I am deeply interested in the spice, but have few others around me in my social circles that share my passion, so I am very grateful to have found this site with others who feel, at least in part, the same way as I do about this molecule. More than anything, I am eternally grateful for the presence of the spice in my life.
Thank you to all mods and members of this forum, this place is truly incredible.
Respect for all,
ThroughTheGlass
I will keep this short, but I figure some back story of what lead me here may help. I have always had a strong interest in psychedelics from a young age, and began to pursue experiments in my early teen years. I was always drawn to psilocybin and LSD through my teenage years, eventually working my way up to eating massive doses, hoping for a truely intense journey. I never saw a true hallucination, sure there were lots of wavy lines, strange psychological states, echoes etc., but I wanted to experience something real.
As I grew out of adolescence, I enrolled in a scientific glassblowing program to get a degree in scientific lab ware. My true intentions were to produce paraphernalia, but the skills and techniques are all the same. I have since graduated, and have spent the last year and a half living in hermitage in a rural area, spending all of my time blowing glass. Glass means everything to me. I have such respect and care for glass; I have dedicated so much of my time, blood, sweat, and soul to it, to me truly few things take priority over it. During this period of hermitage I have spent little to no time on hallucinogens, which brings me to where I am today.
I have left my hermitage, and come home. I love my work, but I've realized just as much I love people. So I am home now, trying to pursue my skills as well as enjoy a more balanced life. Over the last month, I have rekindled many old friendships that died, some with people and some with molecules; and I have made an incredible new friend as well, which is what brought me to this forum, the spice.
A few weeks ago I went to go see an old friend who heard SWIM was back in town and gave me a call, when I arrived at his house catching up quickly turned into bartering. This old friend goes way back to my early psychedelic years, we have tripped together many many times and always had the same desire to receive some kind of understanding from our journeys. Somewhere in our barter he brought up "the spice" (still a new term to me), he told me it was by far the most intense experience of his life, although not something he would be willing to repeat. Of course SWIM wanted a dose, and being a friend, he of course "hooked it up".
I realize I have written a long introduction, and I apologize if it is abnormal, from this point on I will focus on the spice, and my questions about my experiences.
Two nights later after a little bit of research on the spice SWIM decided to take my voyage. SWIM was with one trusted friend who had smoked spice on one previous occasion. SWIM broke up a small amount of herb into a bubbler, then emptied the contents of the bag of "one dose" of spice into the bowl, then covered it with a little more herb. SWIM finished the entire bowl in one big hit, and even halfway through inhaling the hit SWIM began to feel the physical effects. My friend took the bubbler from me and SWIM was racing full speed ahead into hyperspace. Immediately SWIM felt anxiety, as SWIM had imagined this to just feel like a massive super quick dose of LSD. The physical feeling of being weightless, the humming in my ears, the feeling of vibrating all worried me. SWIM remained functioning long enough to ask "No ones ever died from this stuff right?" then everything turned starting spinning and twisting, getting pulled away from me like the whole world was getting pulled into a black hole, but I would remain in place. As I saw this, to heard a reassuring chuckle and then "Nah man, your fine, just relax".
Then I was gone, I felt like I had completely shut down. I couldn't feel my body, I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed. I could see all black with only a small twinkle of light hovering around. I felt euphoric and amazed, this twinkle of light would roll around and twist itself up in patterns, leaving trails behind. I saw or heard nothing else, but felt a presence of something, almost like when you can feel someone watching you. I began to think I was the twinkle of light, that I was controlling its motions and that all I had become was this little glisten in existence, the idea of this existence made me feel a serenity to which nothing in "reality" can compare. I could not remember who I was, that I had been a human, that humans had existed. All that consumed my reality and thoughts were this light. I began to wonder if I was this light, or if I was simply observing it, either way I was completely ecstatic to be in its presence. After an indeterminite amount of time passed, I suddenly felt jolted back into my body. I was told from secondhand sources that I had sat motionless with my eyes closed for a majority of the time, then 30 seconds before coming out of it began speaking broken phrases that made little sense, then came back. Once coming out of the trance I sat in amazement trying to process what I had just experienced, trying to reframiliarize myself with my physical body and the physical world. After a few moments, I began to feel nauseous and sweat profusely. I have never sweat like this in my life, I literally felt and looked as if I had just jumped into a shower. After a few more minutes the negative side effects passed, and I felt exhausted and went home to bed.
The next day I went and met up with my aformentioned friend, and promptly acquired as much spice as I could. After asking my friend what he gave me as "one dose" and checking on erowid I realized my friend is a little too generous of a friend, as he had given me 150mg as a dose.
Which leads to some of my questions:
1) Most experiences I read of people "breaking through" involves seeing complete hallucinations, i.e. aliens, towns, energies etc. Would my experience be considered "breaking through"?
2) I can find little information about large doses or maybe even overdoses of the spice. I realize now 150mg is a ridiculously large dose, and will be scaling out my own doses from this point on. Was the profuse sweating and nausea an adverse reaction due to overdosing?
3) From what I can find about large doses, it seems that after doses get big enough people black out. I was in a trance for almost 20-30 minutes before I came back to my body, is it possible that maybe a lot more happened on my trip, but all I can remember is the ball of light? Because I can remember the trip VERY vividly.
I feel like this substance is the most miraculous tool I have ever experienced, I cannot believe something so divine exists. That first experience was about a month ago now, and still my interest in the spice continues to grow. On a certain level I feel like maybe I am becoming obsessed with it, I am spending most of my free time researching the spice, its effects, and more interestingly now, this forum. I have been feeling unmotivated and bored with my life as of late, and I feel like this experienced has awakened me from a lethargic state of life. I realize I have written a long introduction, and I appreciate anyone who took the time to read, I have been utterly amazed/obsessed and this place feels like mecca.
I am deeply interested in the spice, but have few others around me in my social circles that share my passion, so I am very grateful to have found this site with others who feel, at least in part, the same way as I do about this molecule. More than anything, I am eternally grateful for the presence of the spice in my life.
Thank you to all mods and members of this forum, this place is truly incredible.
Respect for all,
ThroughTheGlass
