Since about 3 years ago I wanted to try hallucinogens. When I was 14 i experienced some sort of mortality crisis, where i realized i was going to die and nothing in this world would have meaning any more. it made me sick to my stomach and couldn't sleep, couldn't cry, just terrified, feeling static in the air everywhere. This was on no drugs at all, it was a week after hearing about planes flying into buildings in NY.

Ever since then this feeling creeps back every once in a while, almost taking me back over the edge into a state of total mortal fear, but I drag myself back with thoughts of important things in the here and now like love, and machines/systems to be understood, fixed, or created

i am hoping that by radically altering my mental status, i will gain some insight to potentially solve that lurking crisis.

Right now I also recently moved to another city where I don't have many friends and I have been a bit depressed. I'm at a stage in my life where I have to decide who I want to be in the years to come and how to get there, and again I was hoping that tripping might offer insight.

So, oral administration for first timers because it comes on slower? Starting with a low dose like 30 mg, then if that does nothing, wait a couple days and try 1.5x or 2x more until noticeable effects are achieved?