Glitch76
Perception = reality
Hello everyone. This is my first post on this website and although I may be new I know this is just the start of many more to come. There is much to learn and to share. While the name Glitch76 is never a name I actually use online now or in the past I decided that remaining anonymous would be of best interest to myself. Funny, you all have no idea who I really am and yet I feel more connected to you than the vast majority of other people. Anyway I thought I'd write a bit about my first recent DMT trip (words fail to describe the utter beauty, sheer terror, and wonder it invokes; not to mention the true humbling power at the realization that I never really "got it" and to think so was utterly childish and naive) but also about something that literally just happened to me a few moments ago and that was very powerful. I've been connecting dots and its something I'd really love to hear feedback on.
First I'd like to give some background information about what has led me to this moment. You see if you were to have known me roughly over a year ago you never would have thought I'd actually be writing about an experience on the DMT Nexus forums. That's because the idea of taking something like LSD was scary to me, let alone DMT! Yet at the same time, looking back on it now, I'm amazed it never happened sooner in my life. Considering I'm a 23 year old college senior it does come as a surprise. You see I've always been a strange person, in that I live inside my head and I'd rather think about concepts like God, philosophy, and the soul than I would about Sunday night football or any of the other things that 'normal' people seem to be interested in. I'm not trying to say I'm special or anything like that, in fact, being humble is a lesson I always strive to teach to others. I personally look negatively towards any sort of thinking otherwise and I strive to always be humble. I've just always been an observant person and I can see much differences between myself and many others.
It all started about a year ago when I was working on a paper about the nature of consciousness, at the time I'd also been interested in meditation for years with off and on practice, as well as the concepts of Kundalini energy (Gopi Krishna - Kundalini the evolutionary energy in man is a great book for anyone interested) and many other esoteric concepts. So with everything I had been thinking about at that time and when I finally had the opportunity to try it, I felt that it was time. I won't go into the details of how it transpired but wow was it an amazing experience. I had many revelations that now seem so foolish to have not known, but you have to start somewhere I suppose. Its that kind of feeling when you're working on a problem and the answer sudden slaps you in the face, you're left to wonder..."how in the hell did I never see that?! its so simple!" and so began my psychedelic journey that in reality hasn't been too extensive or long. Yet at the same time I feel has taught me more than years of meditation and that I have MUCH to learn and many more states of mind to travel to. Since that day I've only tripped acid a few more times, getting upwards of 4 hits at a time on my biggest trips. Actually the second was by myself with three hits, and I feel like I've known the world of psychedelics my entire life while never really touching them, I feel like my mind was made to explore these substances. I feel at ease on them and the thought of them while at first may have worried me, it all melted away on that first experience.
So when I had the chance to get DMT recently I jumped on the chance. I was very nervous when I held that pipe up to my face and began toking. The first hit was to me like the height of an acid trip, and I remember thinking about Terrance McKenna talking about the strange feeling that overtakes your body. After my other two tokes, I looked up at the ceiling as the patterns on the walls fractalized into hyperspace and I remember thinking "I want to know" and oh god, the spirits really thought it was funny to assume that I could know, they didn't take it easy on me. I remember seeing my ego being ripped apart, and the funny thing was that I was ok with it, it really didn't bother me. This trip wasn't scary or anything like that, they simply showed/told me, along the lines of "well you wanted to know, here is the key to the gate, go through and see." Words fail, but what I can say is that when I came back I had a extremely strong sense of my energy having been expanded, rushing back into my skull, which felt so infinitely small to what I had just experience, and still does in a way. Once you have that awakening its truly an eye opener into how little you know. In fact the first thing I remember saying after coming back from my trip was "Wow....I don't know shit" when asked about what by my friend I replied "Everything" and while I try to take everything I've learned in life with a grain of salt, including the things I do believe spiritual or religious (If anything I'm closest to a zen Buddhist but I really don't affiliate with anything) this most certainly had a strong impact in imparting the knowledge that I thought I knew how things were a little too much. DMT has a very strong spiritual meaning to me. If anything I've been forming my own personal cosmology about the nature of the universe that is a sort of combination of science and spirit (soul energy spirit, all the same to me, just different words to describe the same thing) for a long time now and DMT and the elves showed me the error in my ways. DMT is amazing to me and I really do see it as a key to the other side, but I have to say, respect the spice! It does have a bite.
When I was in hyperspace the first time, and the subsequent times after that, I'm not sure if I broke through or not, I truly feel that I have but its hard to say with how little you can remember. What I do know without a doubt in my minds eye is that I had contact with a spirit(s), what felt like a strong one. I remember one thing most vivid, the glowing red eyes. Reading through trip reports since then I've come to find that I'm not the only one to experience something similar. Anyway the first trip it was a different spirit, one with red eyes but It felt different. It wasn't until my second try a few days later that I was greeted by what felt and still feels like a sort of spiritual guide. I remember that as I was moving through this tunnel I remember seeing this spirit looking like some sort of gleaming armored being with a spear in hand, standing almost as if it was at attention at the gate of the tunnel, and as I approached it it shifted its attention to me. In a moment I was FLOODED with information, and its strange because I feel like I'm still gaining more knowledge from that one encounter and I truly feel that this spirit was telling me what I needed to know in order to truly explore myself. It was a feeling that while I could go forward and try to break through again, that I needed to be sure of myself and my inner peace, that I needed to know and meditate on why I was doing this and that it was for the right reasons (Respect the spice!). I remember that at that moment I was staring into its gleaming red eyes and in a sense there was a feeling of foreboding and fear, but it faded into nothing at the moment I thought of love, it was a lesson, the spirit was teaching me! I had understood the concept of love but what it was trying to tell me is that hyperspace could be a dark place and that I should not just understand the concept of love, but actually be better at radiating it at all times, at feeling it for all things at all times. I remember that it was saying that this place is like a reflection of your self at the time. To go into it half hearted or unaware was to invoke the wrathful side of a spirit at the disrespect of not being ready. So while at first I became concerned at whether or not the spirit would be vengeful I quickly learned that it was only trying to show me what to expect, I remember instead of trying to move through my purpose would better be served to go back to the edge and meditate on love, and so I did.
Since that experience I have been waiting for the right time to again go back. Which brings me to the dream I just recently had. I won't go into a lot of detail about the dream, only to say that It was a actually a very long (in dream world sense) and very detailed and lucid. I didn't really know I was dreaming but could most certainly move around and make decisions of my own will. This particular dream was very different than the norm for me because there were actually a lot of people involved. Yet what was strange is that all of a sudden it shifted, and it was a vastly more epic and grand view of thousands upon thousands of huge star ships in the sky, with millions of these soldiers on the ground. What I remember is It was almost as if I was floating about watching this strange army or whatever you could call it moving into some sort of formation. Then my focus became shifted to the attention of something that actually reminds me very much of the spirit with the spear. Only this thing was different. I remember watching from the perspective of one of these soldier beings at first and as I walked in line this thing came towards me, as if it knew I was there. While it did its weapon began to move in extremely strange ways, as though it was turning on and getting ready to be used, this being said some sort of question to me (who at the moment was the soldier) and I remember turning my gaze onto the eyes of the solder who stared steed fast ahead without the hint of an expression. The being kept eye contact with it for a moment and then shifted its gaze to another, and for some reason I knew this other soldier was a girl? or the equivalent of one? Anyway when it approached her it didn't ask a question but rather a strong shock like electricity came out of the spear and struck the woman, and while this was happening I remember literally feeling this sensation in the back of my head, it was as if a thousand voices were rushing through my mind, saying things like, you're not worth anything, you're ugly, you're not worthy, and that sort of rubbish. I remember at that moment that this being had those same red glowing eyes as before, and the experience didn't stop until I woke up. What was strange is that I could still feel this strange sensation in the back of my head, it was almost as if it hurt, like my mind became so active it couldn't take it anymore. It felt like a vast amount of energy had suddenly been injected into my mind, forcing me to wake. It was like it had kicked my out of my own dream! Now this is where I began to connect the dots once I had awoken. At first I thought nothing of it, but as I began to think more and more it became clear that this really was a strange experience for me. One in which I have never experienced before. I didn't wake up because of any fear, it was literally a sensation, real and tangible, that I felt in the back of my head, and one in which lingered upon awakening; to me this is very strange.
What I wanted to know is if anyone has ever experienced a connection between their DMT trips, the spirits that they have came into connect with, and their normal dreams. Has anyone ever had any subsequent dreams or experiences that had similar features to what their trip had been? Right now I'm not sure how to take this experience. I do however think the key lies in the thoughts that were suddenly racing through my mind as this sensation became over powering, as though that being had drawn up hidden thoughts in my subconscious so I could bring them to light and face them. Now that I think about it I have always had a bit of a problem with self confidence, and loving myself. Seemingly for no reason at all as well. I've always been told I'm an attractive guy, who is fun to be around and great to talk to. I have loving parents, a wonderful family, and an amazing group of friends. Yet I've always been harsh on myself, as though I have to punish myself for no reason. I think that the being in hyperspace was trying to show me the same message as was in this dream. Since then I have felt much more at peace, and although I've never thought this self confidence thing or being hard on myself was a huge problem, perhaps I was wrong. I know that I have a lot of inner work and exploration to continue to do and much more experiences to be made with this most amazing substance. Until such time that I can report again I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter and if anyone has had something similar happen to them.
I look forward to what you have to say,
love and light!
***By the way I totally forgot to attach the picture I drew after my first trip. I tend to have a very strange and abstract drawing style so it may look a little strange but the idea behind it is that this was sort of how the room appeared to give way to hyperspace to me. Obviously it was a million times more complex with geometric shapes morphing and changing in on themselves but I thought it gave a cool representation of a frame of it at least.***
First I'd like to give some background information about what has led me to this moment. You see if you were to have known me roughly over a year ago you never would have thought I'd actually be writing about an experience on the DMT Nexus forums. That's because the idea of taking something like LSD was scary to me, let alone DMT! Yet at the same time, looking back on it now, I'm amazed it never happened sooner in my life. Considering I'm a 23 year old college senior it does come as a surprise. You see I've always been a strange person, in that I live inside my head and I'd rather think about concepts like God, philosophy, and the soul than I would about Sunday night football or any of the other things that 'normal' people seem to be interested in. I'm not trying to say I'm special or anything like that, in fact, being humble is a lesson I always strive to teach to others. I personally look negatively towards any sort of thinking otherwise and I strive to always be humble. I've just always been an observant person and I can see much differences between myself and many others.
It all started about a year ago when I was working on a paper about the nature of consciousness, at the time I'd also been interested in meditation for years with off and on practice, as well as the concepts of Kundalini energy (Gopi Krishna - Kundalini the evolutionary energy in man is a great book for anyone interested) and many other esoteric concepts. So with everything I had been thinking about at that time and when I finally had the opportunity to try it, I felt that it was time. I won't go into the details of how it transpired but wow was it an amazing experience. I had many revelations that now seem so foolish to have not known, but you have to start somewhere I suppose. Its that kind of feeling when you're working on a problem and the answer sudden slaps you in the face, you're left to wonder..."how in the hell did I never see that?! its so simple!" and so began my psychedelic journey that in reality hasn't been too extensive or long. Yet at the same time I feel has taught me more than years of meditation and that I have MUCH to learn and many more states of mind to travel to. Since that day I've only tripped acid a few more times, getting upwards of 4 hits at a time on my biggest trips. Actually the second was by myself with three hits, and I feel like I've known the world of psychedelics my entire life while never really touching them, I feel like my mind was made to explore these substances. I feel at ease on them and the thought of them while at first may have worried me, it all melted away on that first experience.
So when I had the chance to get DMT recently I jumped on the chance. I was very nervous when I held that pipe up to my face and began toking. The first hit was to me like the height of an acid trip, and I remember thinking about Terrance McKenna talking about the strange feeling that overtakes your body. After my other two tokes, I looked up at the ceiling as the patterns on the walls fractalized into hyperspace and I remember thinking "I want to know" and oh god, the spirits really thought it was funny to assume that I could know, they didn't take it easy on me. I remember seeing my ego being ripped apart, and the funny thing was that I was ok with it, it really didn't bother me. This trip wasn't scary or anything like that, they simply showed/told me, along the lines of "well you wanted to know, here is the key to the gate, go through and see." Words fail, but what I can say is that when I came back I had a extremely strong sense of my energy having been expanded, rushing back into my skull, which felt so infinitely small to what I had just experience, and still does in a way. Once you have that awakening its truly an eye opener into how little you know. In fact the first thing I remember saying after coming back from my trip was "Wow....I don't know shit" when asked about what by my friend I replied "Everything" and while I try to take everything I've learned in life with a grain of salt, including the things I do believe spiritual or religious (If anything I'm closest to a zen Buddhist but I really don't affiliate with anything) this most certainly had a strong impact in imparting the knowledge that I thought I knew how things were a little too much. DMT has a very strong spiritual meaning to me. If anything I've been forming my own personal cosmology about the nature of the universe that is a sort of combination of science and spirit (soul energy spirit, all the same to me, just different words to describe the same thing) for a long time now and DMT and the elves showed me the error in my ways. DMT is amazing to me and I really do see it as a key to the other side, but I have to say, respect the spice! It does have a bite.
When I was in hyperspace the first time, and the subsequent times after that, I'm not sure if I broke through or not, I truly feel that I have but its hard to say with how little you can remember. What I do know without a doubt in my minds eye is that I had contact with a spirit(s), what felt like a strong one. I remember one thing most vivid, the glowing red eyes. Reading through trip reports since then I've come to find that I'm not the only one to experience something similar. Anyway the first trip it was a different spirit, one with red eyes but It felt different. It wasn't until my second try a few days later that I was greeted by what felt and still feels like a sort of spiritual guide. I remember that as I was moving through this tunnel I remember seeing this spirit looking like some sort of gleaming armored being with a spear in hand, standing almost as if it was at attention at the gate of the tunnel, and as I approached it it shifted its attention to me. In a moment I was FLOODED with information, and its strange because I feel like I'm still gaining more knowledge from that one encounter and I truly feel that this spirit was telling me what I needed to know in order to truly explore myself. It was a feeling that while I could go forward and try to break through again, that I needed to be sure of myself and my inner peace, that I needed to know and meditate on why I was doing this and that it was for the right reasons (Respect the spice!). I remember that at that moment I was staring into its gleaming red eyes and in a sense there was a feeling of foreboding and fear, but it faded into nothing at the moment I thought of love, it was a lesson, the spirit was teaching me! I had understood the concept of love but what it was trying to tell me is that hyperspace could be a dark place and that I should not just understand the concept of love, but actually be better at radiating it at all times, at feeling it for all things at all times. I remember that it was saying that this place is like a reflection of your self at the time. To go into it half hearted or unaware was to invoke the wrathful side of a spirit at the disrespect of not being ready. So while at first I became concerned at whether or not the spirit would be vengeful I quickly learned that it was only trying to show me what to expect, I remember instead of trying to move through my purpose would better be served to go back to the edge and meditate on love, and so I did.
Since that experience I have been waiting for the right time to again go back. Which brings me to the dream I just recently had. I won't go into a lot of detail about the dream, only to say that It was a actually a very long (in dream world sense) and very detailed and lucid. I didn't really know I was dreaming but could most certainly move around and make decisions of my own will. This particular dream was very different than the norm for me because there were actually a lot of people involved. Yet what was strange is that all of a sudden it shifted, and it was a vastly more epic and grand view of thousands upon thousands of huge star ships in the sky, with millions of these soldiers on the ground. What I remember is It was almost as if I was floating about watching this strange army or whatever you could call it moving into some sort of formation. Then my focus became shifted to the attention of something that actually reminds me very much of the spirit with the spear. Only this thing was different. I remember watching from the perspective of one of these soldier beings at first and as I walked in line this thing came towards me, as if it knew I was there. While it did its weapon began to move in extremely strange ways, as though it was turning on and getting ready to be used, this being said some sort of question to me (who at the moment was the soldier) and I remember turning my gaze onto the eyes of the solder who stared steed fast ahead without the hint of an expression. The being kept eye contact with it for a moment and then shifted its gaze to another, and for some reason I knew this other soldier was a girl? or the equivalent of one? Anyway when it approached her it didn't ask a question but rather a strong shock like electricity came out of the spear and struck the woman, and while this was happening I remember literally feeling this sensation in the back of my head, it was as if a thousand voices were rushing through my mind, saying things like, you're not worth anything, you're ugly, you're not worthy, and that sort of rubbish. I remember at that moment that this being had those same red glowing eyes as before, and the experience didn't stop until I woke up. What was strange is that I could still feel this strange sensation in the back of my head, it was almost as if it hurt, like my mind became so active it couldn't take it anymore. It felt like a vast amount of energy had suddenly been injected into my mind, forcing me to wake. It was like it had kicked my out of my own dream! Now this is where I began to connect the dots once I had awoken. At first I thought nothing of it, but as I began to think more and more it became clear that this really was a strange experience for me. One in which I have never experienced before. I didn't wake up because of any fear, it was literally a sensation, real and tangible, that I felt in the back of my head, and one in which lingered upon awakening; to me this is very strange.
What I wanted to know is if anyone has ever experienced a connection between their DMT trips, the spirits that they have came into connect with, and their normal dreams. Has anyone ever had any subsequent dreams or experiences that had similar features to what their trip had been? Right now I'm not sure how to take this experience. I do however think the key lies in the thoughts that were suddenly racing through my mind as this sensation became over powering, as though that being had drawn up hidden thoughts in my subconscious so I could bring them to light and face them. Now that I think about it I have always had a bit of a problem with self confidence, and loving myself. Seemingly for no reason at all as well. I've always been told I'm an attractive guy, who is fun to be around and great to talk to. I have loving parents, a wonderful family, and an amazing group of friends. Yet I've always been harsh on myself, as though I have to punish myself for no reason. I think that the being in hyperspace was trying to show me the same message as was in this dream. Since then I have felt much more at peace, and although I've never thought this self confidence thing or being hard on myself was a huge problem, perhaps I was wrong. I know that I have a lot of inner work and exploration to continue to do and much more experiences to be made with this most amazing substance. Until such time that I can report again I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter and if anyone has had something similar happen to them.
I look forward to what you have to say,
love and light!
***By the way I totally forgot to attach the picture I drew after my first trip. I tend to have a very strange and abstract drawing style so it may look a little strange but the idea behind it is that this was sort of how the room appeared to give way to hyperspace to me. Obviously it was a million times more complex with geometric shapes morphing and changing in on themselves but I thought it gave a cool representation of a frame of it at least.***
