There is no spoon... or Breakthrough.... THIS that we have NOW

[CatholicPsychonaut]

Last night... Finally had the experience I've been waiting for! I'd been chatting with nexians here, and Quciksilver told me to let go of the need to "break though" and just let it be. He made a joke that the breakthrough experience was a myth, but the point hit home. Loaded between 50 and 60 mg, in The Machine. I realized that one of the mistakes I'd been making was that I needed to let the spice melt slowly on the stainless steel, so there was no vap loss during the melting process. After it melted, I made sure not to apply any direct heat to the end of the bottle, just kind of wave the torch in front of the bottle gently. This did the trick. The last thing I did was to take one more hit than I thought I could handle, taking the last toke as my hands seemed to get big and clumsy and I could hear the hyperspacial hum beginning to "power up". Then, I seemed to "drop in" to large, domed space above a central figure... A head, looked like Jesus, but a flower, or possibly a cthulu-like tentacle array wheere the mouth and chin should be. I could hear my breathing echoing off the vast roof of this place, but my body seemed more like something I was standing on top of (like my chest was the floor of this place) rather than something I was inhabiting. I exhaled one last time, and looked to my left... And I was lost. lost, lost, in a world Joy and Color, and Light and Sound. Lost forever, it would seem. It fees like THIS is what we are made for. Death must certainly be like THIS, to dace with God forever like THIS.

How can Heaven be like the medieval paintings? How can it be a bunch of people gathered around an altar on a well-manicured lawn, worshiping, a worship where I am somehow separate from the One worshiped, from other worshipers, from the very act of worship? THIS.... THIS is Heaven. THIS is Bliss... THIS is the Philosophers' Stone, the First Matter. I am no more and there is only THIS. How could I have wanted anything else but THIS from DMT? Some weird experience, where I met strange entities and conversed with them, if that had happened, I'd have still been "Me." No. THIS. THIS now. Endlessly flowing in and out of Joy, in and out of God, swimming in a sea of God. Singing with Him his Digial Song, the Song which sustains the world, and upon its hearing, disintegrates "me." THIS that we have now.

This we have now is not imagination
This is not grief or joy.
Not a judging state, or an elation,
or sadness, those come and go.

This is the presence that doesn't.
This is the presence that doesn't.

When grapes turn to wine
they're wanting this
When the night sky pours by
it's really a crowd of beggars
and they all want some of this.
This we have now.

Jalaludin Rumi

Translated by: Coleman Barks
From: The Essential Rumi, 1985, Copyright Coleman Barks

 

[CatholicPsychonaut]

OK, here's the "official" report:
PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: awake, frustrated with having tried earlier in the evening and not "broken through"
(physical condition) Set: healthy, could loose a few pounds
Setting (location): basement of my house, dark silence
time of day: 12:15am
recent drug use: Took a 15mg time-released adderall @ 4:30am that morning, had a shot of rasberry vodka around dinner time that day. I'd also tried to breakthough on DMT about an hour before this, with 40mg, but likely only got about 20-30 due to the neck of my "machine" cracking under the heat of my torch
last meal: 11:30 pm, 1 orange, 1 pb&j sandwich on whole wheat bread, natural peanut butter, standard grape jelly

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
body weight: 86.35 kg
known sensitivities: none
history of use: this was my 4th time with DMT, counting the try earlier that evening

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): DMT extracted from MHRBP with Noman's "DMT for the Masses" STB tek.
Dose(s): 50-60mg (my scale only measures up to .oo1 g, and I'm not entirely sure of its accuracy at that level.
Method of administration: vaporized with "The Machine"


EFFECTS
Administration time: 0 sec.
Duration: around 30 min
First effects: after 3rd hit, I considered putting the pipe down, but went for One More. During the last hit, my hands felt numb, oversized, and everything was moving slowly. I could hear the "hyperspacial hum" revving up.
Peak: tough to tell. maybe 1 min after administration, lasting around 4-6min, I'd estimate. time is lost in these places, and I didn't bring a clock down with me.
Come down: maybe 20 min.
Baseline: cloudy and fuzzy for 4 or 5 min, came upstairs after about 1/2 an hour-40 min, by that time I was fully normal

Intensity (overall): 4=EXTREMELY intense


OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: is there a keystroke for the infinity symbol? ∞ (apparently it is "alt236"
Implesantness: 1
Visual Intensity: 4+++
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 1: slight respatory irritation, probably because this was my 2nd time that night vaping. Hurts a bit to breath if I take a really deep breath. This feeling has lasted into the next morning. Felt a bit groggy. tried to get up from the cot too soon, not much balance. And the unmistakeable taste of roasted moth balls on my lips. Ate my last little bit of wild amazonian cacao dark chocolate, which killed that awful taste.
Afterglow: 4+++ coming back into the body, I felt on the verge of orgasm, body tingling, surges of energy in my reproductive organs. Felt the happiest I have ever felt in my life.


REPORT
see above post for the details of the trip. Visiual intenisty was Quite deep, but I didn't bring a lot of distinct images back. Returned with mental impressions, a sense of truth and what is REAL.
.

 

[○]

THIS.... THIS is Heaven. THIS is Bliss... THIS is the Philosophers' Stone, the First Matter. I am no more and there is only THIS. How could I have wanted anything else but THIS from DMT? Some weird experience, where I met strange entities and conversed with them, if that had happened, I'd have still been "Me." No. THIS. THIS now. Endlessly flowing in and out of Joy, in and out of God, swimming in a sea of God.

There you go and now its apparent. This is how i've felt on nearly all my experiences including my heaviest of.

Truly..truly..special

 

[skid750]

Good one! These trips are my fav