Hello,
My name is Ringo, I turned 25 yesterday. I started the day with some gold cap mushrooms and Boys Noize. Easing into the familiar psychedelic comfort, my mind drew back to my most recent and prolific DMT experience. A little background may be necessary.
I have been playing drums since age 10. To me, music is medicine, I love all genres. At age 14, I fell in love with the band Tool. Everything about the music drew me in, Maynard's lyrics and voice, Justin's deep and brooding bass, Adam's tones and mostly Danny's masterful, unique and driving drumming. The album and song "Lateralus" were in heavy rotation, I listened to it every day for years. The lyrics and music made me want to live during a time when I struggled with suicide. I got through the difficult times with music and my best friend, Tommy. On my 18th birthday, he got me a tattoo of the flaming eye from the "Lateralus" album. He told me to look at it whenever I feel desperate and remember my love of music and how it has saved me.
There are things that happened in my past I was coming to terms with as a teen. I don't want to get into specifics and I understand everyone travels his or her own journey with hardships. I went in for professional psychiatric help at age 21. After the psychiatrists did my intake and evaluated my tests they shared my case with the team. They diagnosed me with major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and an eating disorder. One doctor told me I had the choice to work with anyone I wanted as they found my case unique. The doctor told me that I had been through a handful of serious, life changing events. I told her that I had tried ecstasy just a few days before with a trusting friend. My friend helped me open my mind to things I was repressing and were simply untrue. The doctor said it was good that I had that experience and actually commended me on my strength with it. That experience was the first time I tried anything beyond marijuana.
I had done DMT three times with a pipe previous to this first experience with a bong. The other times were positive. I saw beautiful colors, felt powerful and danced. This time was an entirely different scene.
I put on the song "Lateralus," which is about nine minutes long, and drew a large hit from the bong as it started. In a matter of seconds it felt like I was falling through the floor in an elevator. The stereo was emitting an array of colors. They pulsed down the stand, out from the speakers and filled the room. It looked like Alex Grey's artwork. I sang the words and moved to the music, it felt like the closest thing to praying I've experienced. I remember pounding my chest with my fist, feeling complete euphoria and one with the song as I sang. When I blinked and closed my eyes, nothing changed. I was in another world.
I fell through the floor and opened my eyes. I was on a stage facing an endless crowd. There were a few people I knew on stage holding me, bracing me and smiling. The crowd was cheering, saying, "We've been waiting for you" and "She's finally here."
I want to say there were three entities that spoke to me, but it felt like they were one being. They said, "Welcome, give us your light. You are the goddess, we are here to make you as comfortable as possible while you do this. That's why we're playing this song, that's why your friends are next to you."
I was terrified and felt enormously drained suddenly, but was hopeful. I tried not to focus on the crowd and looked up at the familiar faces then to the being. The entities were dressed in robes and had a green, glowing hue. I asked how I should do it. They pointed at my Alex Grey tattoo and so did people in the crowd. They said, "You know what to do. Just let go."
Everyone was smiling and the people holding me were encouraging me. I let go of fear. I don't know what I did, but I gave them the light. It looked like the light started in my heart, traveled down my stomach and escaped between my legs. My whole body became white light and it felt like I was giving birth to light. It didn't hurt, but it definitely felt like something powerful was leaving my physical body.
The people were very happy. The light traveled over the crowd. They raised their hands as it showered down on them. All I remember after that is the beautiful colors and turning up the volume on the stereo.
I've thought about this experience every day since it happened this past May. I've since learned that Alex Grey's artwork and many themes of Tool's music, especially "Lateralus," involve DMT or psychedelic experiences of some sort.
I joined this site to learn about DMT in general, others' experiences and further understand my own. The experience made me feel more powerful and in control. It was so vivid and unforgettable.
Thanks for reading.
My name is Ringo, I turned 25 yesterday. I started the day with some gold cap mushrooms and Boys Noize. Easing into the familiar psychedelic comfort, my mind drew back to my most recent and prolific DMT experience. A little background may be necessary.
I have been playing drums since age 10. To me, music is medicine, I love all genres. At age 14, I fell in love with the band Tool. Everything about the music drew me in, Maynard's lyrics and voice, Justin's deep and brooding bass, Adam's tones and mostly Danny's masterful, unique and driving drumming. The album and song "Lateralus" were in heavy rotation, I listened to it every day for years. The lyrics and music made me want to live during a time when I struggled with suicide. I got through the difficult times with music and my best friend, Tommy. On my 18th birthday, he got me a tattoo of the flaming eye from the "Lateralus" album. He told me to look at it whenever I feel desperate and remember my love of music and how it has saved me.
There are things that happened in my past I was coming to terms with as a teen. I don't want to get into specifics and I understand everyone travels his or her own journey with hardships. I went in for professional psychiatric help at age 21. After the psychiatrists did my intake and evaluated my tests they shared my case with the team. They diagnosed me with major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and an eating disorder. One doctor told me I had the choice to work with anyone I wanted as they found my case unique. The doctor told me that I had been through a handful of serious, life changing events. I told her that I had tried ecstasy just a few days before with a trusting friend. My friend helped me open my mind to things I was repressing and were simply untrue. The doctor said it was good that I had that experience and actually commended me on my strength with it. That experience was the first time I tried anything beyond marijuana.
I had done DMT three times with a pipe previous to this first experience with a bong. The other times were positive. I saw beautiful colors, felt powerful and danced. This time was an entirely different scene.
I put on the song "Lateralus," which is about nine minutes long, and drew a large hit from the bong as it started. In a matter of seconds it felt like I was falling through the floor in an elevator. The stereo was emitting an array of colors. They pulsed down the stand, out from the speakers and filled the room. It looked like Alex Grey's artwork. I sang the words and moved to the music, it felt like the closest thing to praying I've experienced. I remember pounding my chest with my fist, feeling complete euphoria and one with the song as I sang. When I blinked and closed my eyes, nothing changed. I was in another world.
I fell through the floor and opened my eyes. I was on a stage facing an endless crowd. There were a few people I knew on stage holding me, bracing me and smiling. The crowd was cheering, saying, "We've been waiting for you" and "She's finally here."
I want to say there were three entities that spoke to me, but it felt like they were one being. They said, "Welcome, give us your light. You are the goddess, we are here to make you as comfortable as possible while you do this. That's why we're playing this song, that's why your friends are next to you."
I was terrified and felt enormously drained suddenly, but was hopeful. I tried not to focus on the crowd and looked up at the familiar faces then to the being. The entities were dressed in robes and had a green, glowing hue. I asked how I should do it. They pointed at my Alex Grey tattoo and so did people in the crowd. They said, "You know what to do. Just let go."
Everyone was smiling and the people holding me were encouraging me. I let go of fear. I don't know what I did, but I gave them the light. It looked like the light started in my heart, traveled down my stomach and escaped between my legs. My whole body became white light and it felt like I was giving birth to light. It didn't hurt, but it definitely felt like something powerful was leaving my physical body.
The people were very happy. The light traveled over the crowd. They raised their hands as it showered down on them. All I remember after that is the beautiful colors and turning up the volume on the stereo.
I've thought about this experience every day since it happened this past May. I've since learned that Alex Grey's artwork and many themes of Tool's music, especially "Lateralus," involve DMT or psychedelic experiences of some sort.
I joined this site to learn about DMT in general, others' experiences and further understand my own. The experience made me feel more powerful and in control. It was so vivid and unforgettable.
Thanks for reading.
