drainlife20
Rising Star
I will try to explain the best I can.
The world and all of existence was destroyed. It exploded and shot upwards into nothing, in rays and blobs of red, yellow, blue, and white light, into the blackness of the universe. These rays swirled around and around for what seemed like forever. I could hear an overwhelmingly large amount of voices. I could feel NOTHING. Literally nothing, totally out of body, hallucinating completely. These voices kept repeating themselves, these colors swirled the same way repeatedly, and existence was stuck in a loop, and kept realizing what was happening, that it was inevitable, that there was nothing to be done, then again realizing what was happening, that it was inevitable, that there was nothing to be done, then it slowly started growing. This spinning and swirling started gaining more, little by little. I lost complete sense of self, but slowly started regaining slight awareness. I was terrified, and it lasted an eternity. I started to give in, and realize that this will never end, and that it was all over. Then I realized what was happining, and thought "maybe I can do something", and then I realized that it was inevitable, that there was nothing I could do, and it started over again, and it went on like this, as I gained a tiny bit more little by little. I realized that this IS life. It's infinity. That there's a question that you could ask a mathematical computer, and it would be stuck in a loop. That it was all inevitable, then I started thinking "Well if it's infinite, it can't end. Couldn't it just start over?". The whole time, from the beginning of this loop, I heard a voice yelling my wifes name. Then I started to focus on this voice when it returned to the loop, and I thought "What is WIFES NAME?", and I had no idea. And then I thought "Is WIFES NAME life?" and it all stopped.
There was blackness, and I could hear her voice. She was trying to comfort me, and I could hear myself talking to her. Then I could feel relief, an emotion that wasn't "unending terror". And this loop was still going on to an extent, and I was trying very hard to explain to her what was happening. I started to regain feeling, I could feel my hands again, I couldn't taste anything, my mouth was entirely numb, and my body was still tingling and not quite all the way back yet, it was indescribable. I was still hallucinating and stuck in little loops. The room hadn't come to me yet, in fact, I was in an entirely different room of the house with her. I realized that life and existence was nothing but infinity, sparked by two forces reaching for eachother in the swirl of nothing and everything. I could feel her again, and I was hugging her. I fell in love with her again, experienced all the excitement and fear, butterflies in my stomach, I kept feeling like I was falling, and she would catch me. I knew that I was going to come back and be normal again, and that this feeling wouldn't last forever. I realized that I would convince myself that it was nothing and that I was just fucked up, and I would return to my life. And I talked to her and kept touching her and regaining more feeling and I kept kissing her. I started to remember things about my life, who I was, where we were, what had happened. It was all very beautiful. Existence is love. Two forces in the universe longing for eachother, and when they finally found eachother, everything came to be. There will be an end, just as there was a beginning, and everyone and everything including existence, are the children of these two forces in a sense. An inevitability that can never be any other way. Her and I were these two forces, very self centered, but it's what I felt. I've thought about it and I'll try to explain what I've gained from this.
The life and existence of everyone and everything can not exist by itself alone. That before time even started, everything and nothing was there. Everything and nothing reached for something, in my case, someone else. And once it was all paired, existence pairing with love, time pairing with the universe, it all came to be.
Well the room was pretty fucked. Somehow, I knocked over the TV, I spilled our drinks into a bag of vending machine cookies, I broke BBQ sauce and ketchup packets on our floor, I knocked over the dresser, she has these laundry bags hooked up to a metal frame which I knocked over and bent. Clothes were everywhere, covered in soda and cookie goo. I have cuts and scrapes everywhere, a HUGE knot on my head, and worse of all, she has a couple scrapes and bruises. I was laying on the ground convulsing, I kept prying at my jaw and pulling on it very hard for some reason, I was laying on the floor and banging my head into shit, and she was trying to calmly stop me the whole time, and I scared the SHIT out of her.
I'm an idiot, this was our first time. My first hit was 30mg. The tv was on, and I asked my wife if she could turn it off. I closed my eyes and I could see very dull swirling colors. I opened them and her face was blotchy energy and light. My body was ringing and vibrating and buzzing. It lasted for a few minutes, but I started getting scared and sat beside her and hugged her. I was panicked for a tiny bit but controlled it a bit and started slowly coming back. Then it was her turn. I loaded 30mg, and she took a very small hit, leaving an estimated 10-15mg of oil in the pipe still. She was laughing and very happy about it and giggling a bunch. She came back quickly, didn't hallucinate in the least. So I was like "Dang.....well, do you want a whole dose? It'll be way different and stronger though, don't be scared" and I said "don't be scared" about 3 times, but she wasn't scared at all, truthfully, I was. She said "sure" I weighed it out and loaded up. So there was probably 70mg in the pipe, and I told her "Just take as big of a hit as you can", and she did. It was a very small hit and hardly any smoke came out when she exhaled. She passed it to me and said "hit it" and I was like "are you sure you're ok I should......." and I just hit it like an idiot. I got a huge hit. That's really all I know. There was still oil in the pipe, but the smoke was just so thick. She started hallucinating and my bearded face became a bright blue lion and she was laughing and then I blasted off and left my body and killed it for her entirely, THANKFULLY she came back.
I should have thought "I'm pretty scared about this, maybe I should wait for a better time", but in all honesty, I would have always been scared. I'm not so sure I'll ever do it again. Existence ending and being reborn, falling in love all over with the woman I love, being reborn, wow. Just wow. I'm not sure if I'll ever want to do it again, I got a whole lot out of it. And I mean I trashed the room and may have broken the tv and vcr, I don't know yet. I HURT my wife. I didn't punch her or anything, but I made her fall a few times and she has cuts and bruises. I could have hurt myself much more than I did. Just think about this I guess, before you do a stupidly large hit when you're not in the right frame of mind. I truly thought that it was all over, all of this was real to me, completely. I wasn't looking for insight when I dove into this, I was looking to hallucinate. Nothing else has ever made me see anything, just trails and waves if I was lucky. I could put on a pair of novelty glasses to get that. This was incredible and it took me completely. I had no choice, and my ego made it pretty fucked up. I didn't want to go, I was scared, and I may have had a seizure. My mouth was completely dry when I came to, maybe I would have started foaming. Maybe the colors and everything moving was too much. I've never had a seizure and I'm not epileptic, but maybe it was just so intense that it made me? I really don't know. Just don't be stupid like me.
Seriously though, it was really beautiful. I hope I didn't break anything.
The world and all of existence was destroyed. It exploded and shot upwards into nothing, in rays and blobs of red, yellow, blue, and white light, into the blackness of the universe. These rays swirled around and around for what seemed like forever. I could hear an overwhelmingly large amount of voices. I could feel NOTHING. Literally nothing, totally out of body, hallucinating completely. These voices kept repeating themselves, these colors swirled the same way repeatedly, and existence was stuck in a loop, and kept realizing what was happening, that it was inevitable, that there was nothing to be done, then again realizing what was happening, that it was inevitable, that there was nothing to be done, then it slowly started growing. This spinning and swirling started gaining more, little by little. I lost complete sense of self, but slowly started regaining slight awareness. I was terrified, and it lasted an eternity. I started to give in, and realize that this will never end, and that it was all over. Then I realized what was happining, and thought "maybe I can do something", and then I realized that it was inevitable, that there was nothing I could do, and it started over again, and it went on like this, as I gained a tiny bit more little by little. I realized that this IS life. It's infinity. That there's a question that you could ask a mathematical computer, and it would be stuck in a loop. That it was all inevitable, then I started thinking "Well if it's infinite, it can't end. Couldn't it just start over?". The whole time, from the beginning of this loop, I heard a voice yelling my wifes name. Then I started to focus on this voice when it returned to the loop, and I thought "What is WIFES NAME?", and I had no idea. And then I thought "Is WIFES NAME life?" and it all stopped.
There was blackness, and I could hear her voice. She was trying to comfort me, and I could hear myself talking to her. Then I could feel relief, an emotion that wasn't "unending terror". And this loop was still going on to an extent, and I was trying very hard to explain to her what was happening. I started to regain feeling, I could feel my hands again, I couldn't taste anything, my mouth was entirely numb, and my body was still tingling and not quite all the way back yet, it was indescribable. I was still hallucinating and stuck in little loops. The room hadn't come to me yet, in fact, I was in an entirely different room of the house with her. I realized that life and existence was nothing but infinity, sparked by two forces reaching for eachother in the swirl of nothing and everything. I could feel her again, and I was hugging her. I fell in love with her again, experienced all the excitement and fear, butterflies in my stomach, I kept feeling like I was falling, and she would catch me. I knew that I was going to come back and be normal again, and that this feeling wouldn't last forever. I realized that I would convince myself that it was nothing and that I was just fucked up, and I would return to my life. And I talked to her and kept touching her and regaining more feeling and I kept kissing her. I started to remember things about my life, who I was, where we were, what had happened. It was all very beautiful. Existence is love. Two forces in the universe longing for eachother, and when they finally found eachother, everything came to be. There will be an end, just as there was a beginning, and everyone and everything including existence, are the children of these two forces in a sense. An inevitability that can never be any other way. Her and I were these two forces, very self centered, but it's what I felt. I've thought about it and I'll try to explain what I've gained from this.
The life and existence of everyone and everything can not exist by itself alone. That before time even started, everything and nothing was there. Everything and nothing reached for something, in my case, someone else. And once it was all paired, existence pairing with love, time pairing with the universe, it all came to be.
Well the room was pretty fucked. Somehow, I knocked over the TV, I spilled our drinks into a bag of vending machine cookies, I broke BBQ sauce and ketchup packets on our floor, I knocked over the dresser, she has these laundry bags hooked up to a metal frame which I knocked over and bent. Clothes were everywhere, covered in soda and cookie goo. I have cuts and scrapes everywhere, a HUGE knot on my head, and worse of all, she has a couple scrapes and bruises. I was laying on the ground convulsing, I kept prying at my jaw and pulling on it very hard for some reason, I was laying on the floor and banging my head into shit, and she was trying to calmly stop me the whole time, and I scared the SHIT out of her.
I'm an idiot, this was our first time. My first hit was 30mg. The tv was on, and I asked my wife if she could turn it off. I closed my eyes and I could see very dull swirling colors. I opened them and her face was blotchy energy and light. My body was ringing and vibrating and buzzing. It lasted for a few minutes, but I started getting scared and sat beside her and hugged her. I was panicked for a tiny bit but controlled it a bit and started slowly coming back. Then it was her turn. I loaded 30mg, and she took a very small hit, leaving an estimated 10-15mg of oil in the pipe still. She was laughing and very happy about it and giggling a bunch. She came back quickly, didn't hallucinate in the least. So I was like "Dang.....well, do you want a whole dose? It'll be way different and stronger though, don't be scared" and I said "don't be scared" about 3 times, but she wasn't scared at all, truthfully, I was. She said "sure" I weighed it out and loaded up. So there was probably 70mg in the pipe, and I told her "Just take as big of a hit as you can", and she did. It was a very small hit and hardly any smoke came out when she exhaled. She passed it to me and said "hit it" and I was like "are you sure you're ok I should......." and I just hit it like an idiot. I got a huge hit. That's really all I know. There was still oil in the pipe, but the smoke was just so thick. She started hallucinating and my bearded face became a bright blue lion and she was laughing and then I blasted off and left my body and killed it for her entirely, THANKFULLY she came back.
I should have thought "I'm pretty scared about this, maybe I should wait for a better time", but in all honesty, I would have always been scared. I'm not so sure I'll ever do it again. Existence ending and being reborn, falling in love all over with the woman I love, being reborn, wow. Just wow. I'm not sure if I'll ever want to do it again, I got a whole lot out of it. And I mean I trashed the room and may have broken the tv and vcr, I don't know yet. I HURT my wife. I didn't punch her or anything, but I made her fall a few times and she has cuts and bruises. I could have hurt myself much more than I did. Just think about this I guess, before you do a stupidly large hit when you're not in the right frame of mind. I truly thought that it was all over, all of this was real to me, completely. I wasn't looking for insight when I dove into this, I was looking to hallucinate. Nothing else has ever made me see anything, just trails and waves if I was lucky. I could put on a pair of novelty glasses to get that. This was incredible and it took me completely. I had no choice, and my ego made it pretty fucked up. I didn't want to go, I was scared, and I may have had a seizure. My mouth was completely dry when I came to, maybe I would have started foaming. Maybe the colors and everything moving was too much. I've never had a seizure and I'm not epileptic, but maybe it was just so intense that it made me? I really don't know. Just don't be stupid like me.
Seriously though, it was really beautiful. I hope I didn't break anything.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
