Time to journey again...

[amandanita]

Mushrooms, salvia, LSD taught me a lot. Then I descended into darkness and into a new life, a life without herbs, without alcohol, without anything mind altering. That life was a dream and the dream turned into a nightmare. My life changed again and now those years seem unreal. I exist in the now because my past is just a dream and like a dream it fades... But the nightmares left their marks and healing had to take place. For a moment I only existed in myself, I was so focused on myself that I was disconnected from everything outside of myself. LSA purged me of my malaise and desperation, purged my body and purged my mind. It gave me peace of mind and clarity. I still have many questions, questions that need answers, trees that need to be cut down to see the forest. Amanita muscaria called me. I had never before even thought of taking it, suddenly I just knew. I learned everything I could. I went into the woods. I heard a thought (a message?) "It will rain between today and tomorrow. Five days after the rain, it's time." Hopeful thinking, or will there really be amanitas waiting for me at that time? Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm no longer in a hurry. The LSA gave me what I needed, not what I wanted. It took away the hurry, the pain. I'm glad I could learn that lesson from LSA and not Amanita. I wouldn't want to give myself to Amanita for the wrong reasons, in the wrong state of mind. I didn't think I was doing that with LSA. Only afterwards I learned that's exactly what I did.
5 days, 50 days. I don't know when the time is right, when I'm ready. I trust nature knows. Everything is connected somehow. I have no scientific explanation, but I know: When the mushrooms are ready, I will be ready.

There are two journeys ahead of me, two journeys I must take on amanita. I don't know if there are more.

One day, perhaps it's time for my first time of DMT. Perhaps that time will never come. I know the time is not now and I know it's not my next step. My next step is amanita. It called and I'm answering.

A lot of the topics here are amazing resources, so helpful. This feels like a good community, hopefully I'll fit in.

 

[BongWizard]

Hello and welcome to the nexus! It sounds like you have plenty of experience and a very spiritual nature. It's good to see you know the next steps on your journey to enlightenment. However one divines it, it's always good to know the path to take. I hope you can find some useful information here that will help you throughout your travels.

 

[TGO]

Welcome to the Nexus!

Mind/consciousness expansion is a peculiar thing. The endless quest for insight and knowledge is all around us here at the Nexus. Whatever it is you are truly seeking, I hope you find it. As long as your intentions are pure, you will fit in quite nicely here!

PEACE


-The Grateful One-

 

[amandanita]

Hello and welcome to the nexus! It sounds like you have plenty of experience and a very spiritual nature. It's good to see you know the next steps on your journey to enlightenment. However one divines it, it's always good to know the path to take. I hope you can find some useful information here that will help you throughout your travels.

Welcome to the Nexus!

Mind/consciousness expansion is a peculiar thing. The endless quest for insight and knowledge is all around us here at the Nexus. Whatever it is you are truly seeking, I hope you find it. As long as your intentions are pure, you will fit in quite nicely here!

PEACE


-The Grateful One-

Thank you for the welcome

 

[amandanita]

I realised this is supposed to be the essay to convince others that I deserve a promotion. I don't know about deserving, but...

There's a person waiting for a reply to their several PMs and I'd like to keep our communication on this site without needing to take it elsewhere if possible. I've never been to a forum before that prevents users from sending private messages to each other, I find this really baffling! Besides this I'd like to post in the poem thread sometimes And sometimes there are threads (usually less-scientific) where I think I could have some input that someone might find interesting. Or not. (I'm not being very convincing, am I? )
But the spirituality section for example... Do I have to be scientific to become a full member so I can post in the non-scientific sections where I most belong? :?:

At the moment I have no interest to learn chemistry beyond what I can do in my kitchen without any fancy chemicals and only because I have to (drying mushrooms in the oven and the correct temperature for that, for example. And knowing what turns into what and what not to combine with the mushrooms (acid/light/higher temperatures/whatever ). At this point of my journey, I have no need to learn chemistry. It seems (I might be wrong!) that on this site you can only get promoted if you know advanced chemistry/are interested in learning it? Can someone confirm this? If I know I'll never get the right to reply to my PMs, then I can take steps to communicate with the people who want to talk to me in other ways! (Like make a thread just for that purpose). I seek connections with other people, without them being on this site is pointless! I learn best from people, not from letters on a screen. Some things I might want to say to one person and not necessarily everyone, but if it's really forbidden to communicate privately on here then I have no problem having the discussions in public. Maybe other people can benefit from them Who knows. But then I also can't post in the majority of sections on this site. That will mean that eventually I'll make 10+ threads in the Welcome Discussion section. But if they get moved, I won't be able to reply to my own threads, so I'll have to make new ones? I can be patient if the promotion is attainable to everyone but I saw a member with 200 posts and a "New member" status. That seemed... really, really odd :shock:

If my posts aren't "high enough quality" for this site then (someone) please let me know! I would rather leave than hope in vain that I could ever be a real part of this community. People come and go, it doesn't matter, this place or another one, I will find a place I can fully be part of!

(I know I've only been here for 2-3 days, but this is based on what I've seen so far. If it seems like this is the wrong place for me, I'll be happy to find a new place instead of trying to be something I'm not to please someone I'm not and I will never be a chemist, not even a hobbyist. I also don't bet my life on a scientific/materialistic/rational/empirical world view and I won't pretend like I do. I hold the scientific approach in high regard but I think it can only take us so far and is only applicable to a limited set of things (how can you use current, mostly flawed science to research what seems to be so far beyond it as to render it obsolete?)

If this is just me being impatient and assuming the worst and I do have a chance of being promoted, please let me know I'm being silly

 

[BongWizard]

"Patience, grasshopper." Lol

No, you dont have to know everything about chemistry, or everything about DMT or the universe, you just have to be an active and compassionate member. Espouse the attitude, be insightful and, most of all, keep posting (you're at 7 a day, keep that rate up). You must draw the attention of members and gain their favour. You must care about the community (yes, there are others, but none with the calibre of members as this one, and this process is the reason for that).

If you make them think, they will notice.

I understand the frustration, but getting upset won't fix the problem. Like the trees, you allow it, because there is a reason for everything.

EDIT: ahh, much better

 

[amandanita]

"Patience, grasshopper." Lol

No, you dont have to know everything about chemistry, or everything about DMT or the universe, you just have to be an active and compassionate member. Espouse the attitude, be insightful and, most of all, keep posting (you're at 7 a day, keep that rate up). You must draw the attention of members and gain their favour. You must care about the community (yes, there are others, but none with the calibre of members as this one, and this process is the reason for that).

If you make them think, they will notice.

I understand the frustration, but getting upset won't fix the problem. Like the trees, you allow it, because there is a reason for everything.

EDIT: ahh, much better

Okay, I'll trust that then

 

[LSDvibes]

"Patience, grasshopper." Lol

No, you dont have to know everything about chemistry, or everything about DMT or the universe, you just have to be an active and compassionate member. Espouse the attitude, be insightful and, most of all, keep posting (you're at 7 a day, keep that rate up). You must draw the attention of members and gain their favour. You must care about the community (yes, there are others, but none with the calibre of members as this one, and this process is the reason for that).

If you make them think, they will notice.

I understand the frustration, but getting upset won't fix the problem. Like the trees, you allow it, because there is a reason for everything.

EDIT: ahh, much better

Agreed, browse the forums and the new member section and engage in the posts that interest you. I don't think you have to post too many times to get promoted, just be genuine when you do! Take the questionnaire if you haven't already. It's a little long but the questions can help introduce you to different concepts of DMT extraction and about the rules of this site. I relate to bring afraid that my posts aren't good or scientific enough for this forum but I've come to believe and see that anyone with the interest to make an account here can make valuable contributions. I hope you come to see this as well and that this forum isn't just intended for those more scientifically inclined (although this forum can teach you a lot about these things too.) Welcome to the Nexus!

 

[LSDvibes]

I liked your post! It looks like you have good self-awareness which is important when taking psychedelics and in daily life. I'm happy that LSA benefitted you even if the experience can be hard to integrate. I'm sober for now and am inspired by your post to continue to not seek psychedelics but, rather, wait until the time feels right. Thanks for reinforcing this important concept for me and, I'm sure, other members who read your essay!

 

[amandanita]

I liked your post! It looks like you have good self-awareness which is important when taking psychedelics and in daily life. I'm happy that LSA benefitted you even if the experience can be hard to integrate. I'm sober for now and am inspired by your post to continue to not seek psychedelics but, rather, wait until the time feels right. Thanks for reinforcing this important concept for me and, I'm sure, other members who read your essay!

Thank you for both your posts Yes, it benefited me, it wasn't a strong experience (except for the physical purging which took its toll), it was quite subtle, so subtle that I didn't even realise what it had done until I suddenly understood what it had done and what it had taught me for me, LSA was pretty sneaky! there were very few visuals (though I'm not sure if I count everything as a visual that someone else counts as a visual, I don't count certain changes in perception at all when I talk about visuals though they can sometimes be the key to something) at first I thought it wasn't teaching me anything useful, I didn't even recognise the subtle things it showed me until after a while. surprisingly it was very psychological/emotional but it didn't hit me in the face, I was somehow oblivious to what I was supposed to learn for a few moments til I finally got it but yeah, it was a good experience and it slowed me down and got me into a much more reflective and meditative state of mind (I wasn't really okay/connected to my surroundings before LSA calmed me down and showed me I need to reconnect with the nature and the people around me.)

 

[LSDvibes]

I find the subtlety of your experience interesting. LSA was not subtle for me at all. Even though it was not a visual experience, the mind trip was very present. I found tripping with only the mind trip there more trippy in a way because at least when you have visuals, it makes it very obvious that you're in the tripping state and I find they guide me through in a way. I love acid (hence my name) and find that everything sort of clicks and works out when I'm on it. I sure love feeling those LSD vibes! :lol: I hope that your LSA experience continues to benefit you and your state of mind long after the effects have worn away. Depression can be quite difficult so it's such a relief to find and have beneficit experiences that work well in the long run too!

 

[jim2015]

How was your experience with Amanita muscaria and what was the dose.....any nausea ? Love your hear your thoughts on this teacher.

 

[amandanita]

How was your experience with Amanita muscaria and what was the dose.....any nausea ? Love your hear your thoughts on this teacher.

I haven't been taught by Amanita yet! I am waiting for the mushrooms to start popping up... When they do, then I'll be ready I will share my experiences once I've given myself to those mushrooms. I'll be happy to!

I find the subtlety of your experience interesting. LSA was not subtle for me at all. Even though it was not a visual experience, the mind trip was very present. I found tripping with only the mind trip there more trippy in a way because at least when you have visuals, it makes it very obvious that you're in the tripping state and I find they guide me through in a way. I love acid (hence my name) and find that everything sort of clicks and works out when I'm on it. I sure love feeling those LSD vibes! :lol: I hope that your LSA experience continues to benefit you and your state of mind long after the effects have worn away. Depression can be quite difficult so it's such a relief to find and have beneficit experiences that work well in the long run too!

Don't misunderstand, it benefited me greatly! I think the lack of visuals was even a kind of a well-deserved slap in the face that told me it was no time for fun when I had some issues to face. The reason I describe the trip as subtle is that that's how I felt at the time. The LSA made everything hyperrealistic/hyperacute. I could hear every sound so very clearly! Every bird, no matter how far, every fly, every mosquito, every gust of wind and every movement of every tree branch with crystal clarity. There wasn't a moment of silence, everything had a sound. And visually it was even worse. I could track any and every movement in my visual field (even when something moved behind a tree to re-emerge, I never lost track). Everything was so clearly defined, the edges of everything, the dew, the grass, the trees, the animals, it's like I had the vision of an eagle (I can already see pretty well but this was like exponential in comparison). Everything was so real and at the same time, everything seemed like it had just been put there. Like someone had manufactured the trees with the moss, the metal with the rust, and then planted them all around me that very day. Nothing seemed fake, just new. That experience taught me many things but most of all that I'd been too focused in myself and my own troubles, I had been living disconnected from everything around me, the nature, the people, everything. Afterwards I went to a close friend and saw the world like I was seeing it for the first time. I took in every bright colour, every detail, I was so at peace, I was so happy. I sat with her in silence and I just smiled. I told her I was so happy to know her and that I was sorry I'd been so disconnected and selfishly focused on my own issues and that I really wanted to feel her in every way, give her all of me and not just be in her presence talking about my problems or thoughts without really connecting. She was happy to see the change in me, happy for me and happy for our friendship.

The majority of my experience (due to my own wrong attitudes) with LSA was very subtle. I think LSA had to work hard just to get me to wake up and remind me why it was that I was taking a medicine again. I had gone in with the wrong attitude and when I wasn't getting the experience I expected, it showed as impatience and everything else negative. (The sleep deprivation probably didn't help, but anyway ) I'm not someone who takes psychedelics to "see pretty things lalala" but somehow I was so convinced there would be plenty of visuals that my focus and mindset was completely wrong (not just because of that false expectation, but it really didn't help)!

So to make it more clear: i don't think my experience (or the benefits it gave me) were subtle now as much as I did during the experience (until the last moments of it when I finally got it), I just wanted to point out that the effects were more far more internal than external and I was at first baffled by the lack of visuals/external things (during the experience I found the heightened hearing/visual acuity nothing but an annoyance, I didn't count it as tripping, I counted it as an unwanted side-effect (it's funny now but at the time I was actually really annoyed until I realised the significance/message).

And yes, I'm feeling the vibes still, every day, I'm holding on to them, before the trip I had a lot of anxiety and impatience and negative energy in me, now I'm sooooo much calmer ") I'm still growing from the experience every day. It helped me a lot!