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Tonight I Will Breakthrough

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brilliantlydim

brilliantlydim

Rising Star
As the title says, in a little over 2 hours I will attempt to breakthrough the level I have been currently working/stuck at as long as the "gate keepers" permit.

I will dose with 20mg of harmala sublingually and approximately 25 mins after that I will vape 30mg of spice that will be preloaded in my GVG. I will vape it all efficiently and hold it for as long as possible. I will not leave any room for error on my part.

I know for many of you here this is not a big dose by any means. For me this is the next level, and I have been putting it off for a while. I have often sabotaged my own attempts by not getting all the smoke in, or not holding it in long enough. This time I will fail in neither of those elements.

The most I can say I have vaped is 25mg at an estimated approximate 90% efficiency. At that time I felt like I was so close to hitting the next level, but it wasn't enough to stop me from holding myself back.

Today it is time, I have no excuses. The only thing in my way is the fear, and I will over come it this time.

Thank you Nexus, reading over many of the posts hear has helped a great deal, in many different ways.

If you have any encouraging words or advice, I will be checking this thread before I launch.
 
Hell ya! Go for it!!

Take the bull by the horns!

Let us know how it all goes. I for one would love to hear how it turns out!

Advice? None... you seem like you are in the perfect zone. Trust yourself.
 
Pre-loading sublingual harmalas always works well. Keep them under the tongue hard pressed until they fully dissolve.


Then smoalks til you can't smoalk no moar.
 
Wishing you every success :thumb_up:

I feel the same excitement and butterflies in the stomach for you as when I make up my mind to blast off. Tell us how it goes.
 
DmnStr8 said:
Advice? None... you seem like you are in the perfect zone. Trust yourself.
Click to expand...

Perfect thing to read before blasting off :thumb_up:

Thanks for the words everyone. I feel a little embarrassed now, as the experience was a little underwhelming maybe due in part to my own personal build up and perhaps expectations.

Although I did advance further than I have before, I felt a little disappointed after the trip. I felt like I just didn't "get it". Everything that was presented to me, although amazing and complex, I seemed unable to derive meaning from. I feel like I was either "shut out" or just didn't have the ability to decipher the experience.

Don't get me wrong, I am aware that there maybe many reasons why it was this way. I may not yet be ready to receive any message or achieve any kind of revelation. It may not hit me until later, or there may not be any of those things to attain. I also realize it could be working on me on many different levels, ones I may not be aware of yet.

I am not too bummed out about it deep down in my essence, I know the experience is what it was for what ever reason it was. I'm just being honest with the feelings I went through after the trip.

I do understand that I shouldn't go in with expectation, but do believe I need to go in with intention if I wish achieve any constructive experience, which is ultimately my goal.



Here is the experience report

The experience lasted about 20 mins total. I may not have gotten the full effect of the harmalas because of a massive amount of saliva build up in my mouth. They didn't dissolve under my tongue but in my saliva which I swished around for 20 mins before swallowing.

Also despite my big talk in the OP, I did not get it all in one hit. I did end up taking it in 3. The first 2 being decently sized and the third being the remaining vapor that I could barely hold in at that time.

At the peak I did encounter the "machine elf/s", and instantly remembered that I had encounter this/these ones before. I think the term machine elf is fitting because I distinctly remember the movements being machine or robot like, definitely not organic. Its very weird because although I recalled seeing this character/s and their movement before, it only occurred to me this time that they are in fact machine like in their movements. The movements were rapid and impossible for me to understand, but reflecting on it as I write this I recall that indeed they were entertaining and I remember feeling a smile come over my face a couple of times, something I forgotten until exactly now. They seemed to be moving and constantly transforming simultaneously, if that makes any sense.

Also at the peak, at one point in between encountering the machine elves, I was in a room. It felt like a big room, and inside of it was little things building themselves. My first impression was that it was a peculiar factory where peculiar things were putting themselves together. I had the same feeling of familiarity with this place as with the machine elf, but once back I can't recall ever seeing that place before.

As I began to come down, I saw flowing strands of rainbow patterns. As I looked at them they kept flowing towards me, revealing more intricate patterns within them.


Well I'm thinking the answer is to...

Smoalk Moar
 
Good for you Ehud!

I think the main point in this quest was for you to meet your fear head on and you did just that!!

Sounds like a great experience overall. I wouldn't worry too much about the profundity of the journey. It is what it is. Take it. Give gratitude and try again when your ready.

Maybe you are wiser than you give yourself credit. Underwhelmed like an easy class at school. Just consider yourself getting an "A" and call it good.

:thumb_up:
 
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