2ci also makes me paranoid at 15mg. there are loads of tripreports from 2ci users who all report some kind of paranoia. some manage to deal with it easily for others it kind of directs the trip into the dark places of the mind.

also she is not a nightmare. she is a very kind, loving person. but in the time where she would normally have experienced puberty she already experimented with her feelings. i think this was her reaction to not dealing with her best friend dying. i want to help her deal with it. as hard as it might get for me.. i don't care. i have enough energy to go through it with her. and to become an advanced psychotherapist/shaman i must choose the hard way over the easy one. the hard way teaches most!

i have also understood that i need to keep a little buffer of air between us because otherwise i might loose my ability to look at things objectively. this is very important for such work. when she gets a grip of her own baseline reality and baseline self she will be ready for ayahuasca to do its teachings on her. it might take a year or two for the grip to take hold. she has already taken the first step to quit every kind of drug including alcohol and smoking. the most important thing is that she has noticed what her problem is and where it comes from. i will feed her with ideas, books, love, passion, joy of being here and now and doing things which are fun in this frequency of reality. treating her like a woman should help make her sense of self value grow. there are many ways of showing people who they are and what they want without taking drugs. ayahuasca is the last healing step when all the other things are set up and ready. its a long road but we will both learn a great deal from taking this route.

i have asked the ancestors for their blessings in my path and they filled me with love which to me means i have their blessing.