MoltonSnow
Expanding Consciousness
Aphantasia is a minor disability where you cant visualize anything in your minds eye. I was born like this, and it affects my thinking and trips. I believe alot of my trips wouldn't be possible if I was able to visualize. Reason being that the trips primary focus on my internal experiences and thought processes. While I do use word like "sight", "images" or "I saw this" in my trip reports Im not seeing anything its just the closest words I can use to describe the experiences. While a small minority of trips and dreams I do visualize its wildly inconsistent and I will mention it if I actually SAW something. I know the objects are there, where they are in space relative to me, and any other attributes that these objects hold. Im just not capable of seeing it. The closest analogy to Aphantasia is like when a blind man reads brail, he's understanding the text just without any images.
This trip there was no visuals but it was very language dense and this trip was definitely affected by Aphantasia
I inhaled 20-25mg and it hit me HARD. These beings were running up to me then running away, and this kept repeating. They were creating objects and told me to do it. these objects held meaning on there own. Each creating more meaning then the previous moment. I opened my mouth and started speaking in tongues. And objects just stated shooting out my mouth, they where completely random purple school buses, giant spiders, computers I dont know but there here hundreds of these objects each scaling up and down and changing colors and morphing into other objects as this happened the meaning would change completely. This event quickly expanded my mind in order to hold all the meaning. It didnt last and the "meaning" felt more like the library of babel more than anything. Im sure they were speaking many words to me I was just not understanding. Reflecting back I just couldnt deny that we have to ability to accept, learn, and speak with them side by side. creating the world from the inside out. I dont know how to do it, or how to understand it. I just know it happened to me, and we are a part of it
This trip I saw, it was like a waking dream. Very rare that I see, usually its just a extremely bright light. Not only did I have visions accompany this trip but they looked from earth very detailed stable scenes of places I would expect to see here.
I was a little anxious going into it but not scared no one bit. On the onset I said out loud I love you, it was like it embraced me and I walked through this door?! I found myself inside of a modern apartment and there were these two humanoid entities. They look just like humans. She was white she had orange frizzy hair in a bun on the top she had sparse freckles on her face with his soniferous look in her eyes her nose was crooked in the center she had a blue shirt It was a polo she had dark blue pants she had a bracelet on both of her arms. [I don't know how I remembered such a detailed description. It just spilled out I didn't even have to think. That was weird.] There was a gentleman there but I wasn't speaking much to him he was black wearing a plaid shirt that was black and red he had black pants on he had no jewelry whatsoever except for earrings he had frizzy ever-changing hair and green eyes. After I arrived in the apartment. She addressed me she told me that she loved me too and me embraced it felt very sexual but nothing sexual was happening. She conveyed in pure meaning impossibilities and paradoxes that where coursing through my head. She was saying LISTEN, LOOK, UNDERSTAND what is happening. I shit you not, her face turned into a chameleon and she looked at me with her bug eyes and she shot her tongue at me and it went right through my perception into my consciousness and pulled something out. HOLLY SHIT I don't know why this arc is happening so much but over and over and over these visions show me quests of me creating with my thoughts. In some sort of universal language in a world of non-locality. I think this is the next step. After the arc finishes the vision fades away. After some time pondering this I think the object that she pulled out was the manifestation of the experience in the moment. She pulled the present from my conscious mind and manifested it into an object and then she started messing with it she started messing with my senses more specifically time, touch, and emotions, and much more that I cannot interpret in English words. This object was a glass orb with mist inside. I think at this part in the trip this is where I downloaded the most data like I didn't get the description of these beings from the visuals I got those descriptions of theses beings from her directly manipulating the present. She quite literally showed herself to me. Whenever I do psychedelics I don't care so much about going in deep as I do communicating and I felt like I did a lot of communicating in this trip.
This time my ally was focusing on emotions. Plant medicine can touch you deep in your soul. Honestly it just makes me weep. Nothing has connected to me like that, or ever will, at least in this life. I was specifically asking for insight on my previous karma. It has shown me insight before but not on demand like this. A part of my journey was contextualized and described. And because of that I could travel through these different routes. But all of these routes I didn't take in this lifetime, but it was me in this body. And so I was traveling first freely and then the ally took me to my blind spot, to the place my soul was trying to push down. I let him describe the texts to me because I wasn't understanding. My mind was hot, the light blinds my sight. The world around me felt old, dense, and ever-changing. I've been here before, many times now. Home is the word I call it. When my ally started reading my journey. His word became light. The mood changed, It got hellish real fast. I could see the hands and faces that were reaching up but we're not reaching home, My ally and I peered in, It was me, I was still reading karma but the meaning got deluded, cloudy, murky as we traveled through suppressed mind. He was showing me images, many images of death. And the karma that follows the suicide. And afterwards how my life changed in the new one. He was flipping through these images so fast it look like hyperspeed video but they were snapshots of my deaths. I was going mad, I never asked him to stop. Then we arrived into my life in that damn hospital bed and there God was watching me, He spoke in words you would not understand, but my interpretation of the word is " how many times, does this play out " .... " when will you learn " .... "Robbie this time is different" by the grace of an angel he lifted my lesser self up and saved me from dying. After that he let me out the door. An hour later I was back knocking. But he didn't answer. When the truth becomes light you have no other option but too believe.
This trip there was no visuals but it was very language dense and this trip was definitely affected by Aphantasia
I inhaled 20-25mg and it hit me HARD. These beings were running up to me then running away, and this kept repeating. They were creating objects and told me to do it. these objects held meaning on there own. Each creating more meaning then the previous moment. I opened my mouth and started speaking in tongues. And objects just stated shooting out my mouth, they where completely random purple school buses, giant spiders, computers I dont know but there here hundreds of these objects each scaling up and down and changing colors and morphing into other objects as this happened the meaning would change completely. This event quickly expanded my mind in order to hold all the meaning. It didnt last and the "meaning" felt more like the library of babel more than anything. Im sure they were speaking many words to me I was just not understanding. Reflecting back I just couldnt deny that we have to ability to accept, learn, and speak with them side by side. creating the world from the inside out. I dont know how to do it, or how to understand it. I just know it happened to me, and we are a part of it
This trip I saw, it was like a waking dream. Very rare that I see, usually its just a extremely bright light. Not only did I have visions accompany this trip but they looked from earth very detailed stable scenes of places I would expect to see here.
I was a little anxious going into it but not scared no one bit. On the onset I said out loud I love you, it was like it embraced me and I walked through this door?! I found myself inside of a modern apartment and there were these two humanoid entities. They look just like humans. She was white she had orange frizzy hair in a bun on the top she had sparse freckles on her face with his soniferous look in her eyes her nose was crooked in the center she had a blue shirt It was a polo she had dark blue pants she had a bracelet on both of her arms. [I don't know how I remembered such a detailed description. It just spilled out I didn't even have to think. That was weird.] There was a gentleman there but I wasn't speaking much to him he was black wearing a plaid shirt that was black and red he had black pants on he had no jewelry whatsoever except for earrings he had frizzy ever-changing hair and green eyes. After I arrived in the apartment. She addressed me she told me that she loved me too and me embraced it felt very sexual but nothing sexual was happening. She conveyed in pure meaning impossibilities and paradoxes that where coursing through my head. She was saying LISTEN, LOOK, UNDERSTAND what is happening. I shit you not, her face turned into a chameleon and she looked at me with her bug eyes and she shot her tongue at me and it went right through my perception into my consciousness and pulled something out. HOLLY SHIT I don't know why this arc is happening so much but over and over and over these visions show me quests of me creating with my thoughts. In some sort of universal language in a world of non-locality. I think this is the next step. After the arc finishes the vision fades away. After some time pondering this I think the object that she pulled out was the manifestation of the experience in the moment. She pulled the present from my conscious mind and manifested it into an object and then she started messing with it she started messing with my senses more specifically time, touch, and emotions, and much more that I cannot interpret in English words. This object was a glass orb with mist inside. I think at this part in the trip this is where I downloaded the most data like I didn't get the description of these beings from the visuals I got those descriptions of theses beings from her directly manipulating the present. She quite literally showed herself to me. Whenever I do psychedelics I don't care so much about going in deep as I do communicating and I felt like I did a lot of communicating in this trip.
This time my ally was focusing on emotions. Plant medicine can touch you deep in your soul. Honestly it just makes me weep. Nothing has connected to me like that, or ever will, at least in this life. I was specifically asking for insight on my previous karma. It has shown me insight before but not on demand like this. A part of my journey was contextualized and described. And because of that I could travel through these different routes. But all of these routes I didn't take in this lifetime, but it was me in this body. And so I was traveling first freely and then the ally took me to my blind spot, to the place my soul was trying to push down. I let him describe the texts to me because I wasn't understanding. My mind was hot, the light blinds my sight. The world around me felt old, dense, and ever-changing. I've been here before, many times now. Home is the word I call it. When my ally started reading my journey. His word became light. The mood changed, It got hellish real fast. I could see the hands and faces that were reaching up but we're not reaching home, My ally and I peered in, It was me, I was still reading karma but the meaning got deluded, cloudy, murky as we traveled through suppressed mind. He was showing me images, many images of death. And the karma that follows the suicide. And afterwards how my life changed in the new one. He was flipping through these images so fast it look like hyperspeed video but they were snapshots of my deaths. I was going mad, I never asked him to stop. Then we arrived into my life in that damn hospital bed and there God was watching me, He spoke in words you would not understand, but my interpretation of the word is " how many times, does this play out " .... " when will you learn " .... "Robbie this time is different" by the grace of an angel he lifted my lesser self up and saved me from dying. After that he let me out the door. An hour later I was back knocking. But he didn't answer. When the truth becomes light you have no other option but too believe.
