I have two dreams I would like to share that I feel have some kind of significance to my state of mind at the moment. After a three year period of abstinence I've decided to redirect my life's path towards a more psychedelic rout and that I would ask for guidance and teachings from the entheogens of this planet. So far most of this is in planning rather, but things are coming together. Various SWIMs have access too the necessary things involved so my plan is coming together.
In my first dream I was living in Montana, in a small town with small houses. I was in something like a restaurant and there were zombies all over. They weren't the dead kind of zombies - they were alive but infected and they were mindless, aggressive and insatiable. If they had contact with you too long you became one of them. Or they just killed you. After that you were just dead.
I was terrified, but continuously in motion. I fought my way out of the restaurant and got into my pick up truck and drove to my ranch in Montana where I apparently lived with a husband and several dogs. But when I got there I knew something was wrong right away. The dogs were barking in a very disturbing way. At me, at everything. My husband was there but his presence was negligible. I didn't feel safe, I didn't feel right. I stared out the screen door at the barking dogs, that once I suppose were my friends but now didn't resemble anything I felt familiar with.
And suddenly I remembered something. A conversation I had had some time before the zombies. I was transported back to that conversation and relived it with a kind of echo special effect to go along with the voices I heard. I was sitting at a table in a restaurant opposite a woman I didn't know. She said to me: 'If you want to be a part of The Void, you will have to face your fears in the forrest, alone. You have to face them and either die by them or overcome them.'
I was then standing behind my screen door again and then I realized something. The zombies, the dogs, they all tied into it somehow. They had something to do with The Void and my fears. I understood. I thought, 'yes'. And I left the house, walked past the barking dogs and into the distance.
The dream consciousness lingered with the house for a moment then jumped into the future to a scene where my husband was in a tattoo parlor tattooing someone and having a conversation. He was saying, 'yeah, three years ago my wife ran out on me. She never came back, never seen her since.'
That's when I woke up or at least left the dream state. What I understood is that the zombies were not a manifestation of my fears; they were part of my fears. They were normal people, that I was seeing as an exaggeration of what they are, or rather a boiled and reduced way of looking at them. Mindless, aggressive, insatiable. I was terrified of becoming like them, of entering and being stuck in the zombie-mindset. My ranch, my dogs, my husband were all unfamiliar because they are part of a life that seemed meaningless to me, part of an illusion that the zombie-mindset had created to anchor itself. As I walked away I walked out of the dream, out of the illusion and hopefully into the forest but I don't know. I don't know if I overcame my fears, whatever other fears there were and became part of The Void, or if I died by them. But I took the leap. I let go of the lies.
Btw, I neither have a husband nor live anywhere near Montana...
The second dream was very different. I was in a world where I had the ability to change things. I could change where a door lead to, I could alter the physical reality as though it were a matrix. I would, for fun, change the height of a door, so that when someone exited they would be surprised, seeking ground behidn the door but finding it a foot lower than expected.
I was within limits the master of reality. There was a river and someone was there that wanted to catch me. I wasn't afraid, rather I was playing with this person. I jumped into the river and within it, I was omnipotent. I could breathe underwater and create and destroy whatever I chose. Still the person was trying to catch me. She got in the river as well and I began playing with her again. Almost as though I did not realize the danger. I grabbed her feet and laughed but at that moment she shot me in my stomach. I was upside down in the water, looking up towards my feet, through a growing cloud of blood, feeling terribly hurt. Not physically but emotionally injured and confused. I didn't understand why she had done it.
The other person pulled me out of the water and brought me to the other side of the river (that is the opposite side from which I came). She pulled me up and out and I stumbled onto land and saw the other side. And it was our side, our world I saw houses, like our houses. A city like the regular reality had. And I stopped. I said to her 'I can't live here. I can't. I need to live in a world where fantastic things can happen. Not here. I have to go back into the water.' It was a world where I was powerless in, and it felt inert, unmoveable.
She did not oblige. I hat tears in my eyes. We neither moved forwards or backwards but just stood there as my insides recoiled in real horror.
I woke somewhere around there.
It seems pretty straight forward though I am still confused about the meaning of the river/water and 'the other side'. What was this dream trying to tell me. Both of these dreams have been very strongly present in my mind ever since I dreamt them - they would not let me go. I get that sometimes with dreams that seem to hold some meaning for my life. The first one I can understand more clearly. The second one though I am confused about. What is the significance of this, how do I get back into the water, or is there something I must do first in this inert world?
I would love for some comments on either of these dreams.
Cheers
In my first dream I was living in Montana, in a small town with small houses. I was in something like a restaurant and there were zombies all over. They weren't the dead kind of zombies - they were alive but infected and they were mindless, aggressive and insatiable. If they had contact with you too long you became one of them. Or they just killed you. After that you were just dead.
I was terrified, but continuously in motion. I fought my way out of the restaurant and got into my pick up truck and drove to my ranch in Montana where I apparently lived with a husband and several dogs. But when I got there I knew something was wrong right away. The dogs were barking in a very disturbing way. At me, at everything. My husband was there but his presence was negligible. I didn't feel safe, I didn't feel right. I stared out the screen door at the barking dogs, that once I suppose were my friends but now didn't resemble anything I felt familiar with.
And suddenly I remembered something. A conversation I had had some time before the zombies. I was transported back to that conversation and relived it with a kind of echo special effect to go along with the voices I heard. I was sitting at a table in a restaurant opposite a woman I didn't know. She said to me: 'If you want to be a part of The Void, you will have to face your fears in the forrest, alone. You have to face them and either die by them or overcome them.'
I was then standing behind my screen door again and then I realized something. The zombies, the dogs, they all tied into it somehow. They had something to do with The Void and my fears. I understood. I thought, 'yes'. And I left the house, walked past the barking dogs and into the distance.
The dream consciousness lingered with the house for a moment then jumped into the future to a scene where my husband was in a tattoo parlor tattooing someone and having a conversation. He was saying, 'yeah, three years ago my wife ran out on me. She never came back, never seen her since.'
That's when I woke up or at least left the dream state. What I understood is that the zombies were not a manifestation of my fears; they were part of my fears. They were normal people, that I was seeing as an exaggeration of what they are, or rather a boiled and reduced way of looking at them. Mindless, aggressive, insatiable. I was terrified of becoming like them, of entering and being stuck in the zombie-mindset. My ranch, my dogs, my husband were all unfamiliar because they are part of a life that seemed meaningless to me, part of an illusion that the zombie-mindset had created to anchor itself. As I walked away I walked out of the dream, out of the illusion and hopefully into the forest but I don't know. I don't know if I overcame my fears, whatever other fears there were and became part of The Void, or if I died by them. But I took the leap. I let go of the lies.
Btw, I neither have a husband nor live anywhere near Montana...
The second dream was very different. I was in a world where I had the ability to change things. I could change where a door lead to, I could alter the physical reality as though it were a matrix. I would, for fun, change the height of a door, so that when someone exited they would be surprised, seeking ground behidn the door but finding it a foot lower than expected.
I was within limits the master of reality. There was a river and someone was there that wanted to catch me. I wasn't afraid, rather I was playing with this person. I jumped into the river and within it, I was omnipotent. I could breathe underwater and create and destroy whatever I chose. Still the person was trying to catch me. She got in the river as well and I began playing with her again. Almost as though I did not realize the danger. I grabbed her feet and laughed but at that moment she shot me in my stomach. I was upside down in the water, looking up towards my feet, through a growing cloud of blood, feeling terribly hurt. Not physically but emotionally injured and confused. I didn't understand why she had done it.
The other person pulled me out of the water and brought me to the other side of the river (that is the opposite side from which I came). She pulled me up and out and I stumbled onto land and saw the other side. And it was our side, our world I saw houses, like our houses. A city like the regular reality had. And I stopped. I said to her 'I can't live here. I can't. I need to live in a world where fantastic things can happen. Not here. I have to go back into the water.' It was a world where I was powerless in, and it felt inert, unmoveable.
She did not oblige. I hat tears in my eyes. We neither moved forwards or backwards but just stood there as my insides recoiled in real horror.
I woke somewhere around there.
It seems pretty straight forward though I am still confused about the meaning of the river/water and 'the other side'. What was this dream trying to tell me. Both of these dreams have been very strongly present in my mind ever since I dreamt them - they would not let me go. I get that sometimes with dreams that seem to hold some meaning for my life. The first one I can understand more clearly. The second one though I am confused about. What is the significance of this, how do I get back into the water, or is there something I must do first in this inert world?
I would love for some comments on either of these dreams.
Cheers
