hardboiled
Rising Star
Hello everybody. After some reading on this forum i decided to write my first post. I came here to learn and share my expiriences and for intruduction i will try to put in words one of my more recent and more profound expiriences. I'm quiet new to entheogens and my only expiriences are with mushrooms so far. My english is not that good so overlook any grammar mistakes 
.
I'm 29 years old and thru my childhood i was feeling wierd all the time like i was different in some kind of way. I was born in religious famly but not hardcore one all though i did go to church and i was babtised and all that goes with it. But never could relate to all that was told to me about god, religion, life etc. I was really confused for a long time until i came to conclusion that i must listen my own inner voice that told me that this is not me, that i have to find wtf is going on for my self. What is the point of me being here? What is all this? Who or what am i? What is life and death?What or who is GOD?
All that has happened so far was exactly a path that i have excepted for my self even thou i didnt have this understanding at times.
Until all brought me to mushrooms. And that first expirience that opened door to most intimate inner universe. The last 2 years have been crazy but in a positive way. Never in my wildest dreams would i think that i would be imbarking on this insanlly strange and beautiful path. Going down the rabbit hole...
One of most recent and mind bending expiriences that i had (on shrooms) happened 2-3 months ago. I had all kind of rializations prior to this but this was on another level. I was listening to Terance Mckenna and Bill Hicks and that you should take higher doses when taking shrooms if you wanna go deeper since psilocybin is close cousin to dimethyltryptamine but not so potent in smaller doses. So i did. Instead taking 2-3 grams that i usually took i took 5-6 grams (my estimation since i don't have a scale) ....what happened i can only describe as realization that I AM MY OWN CREATOR.
The onset of the trip was like anyother before with tingling around my eyes and rush of andrenaline and anticipation. I usually have little ceremony in a way. I dont eat couple of hour prior and i try to quiet my mind, fear and racionalizations and give some objectives to my trip even thou it usually takes me where i really wanna be/learn.
I was on my bed in darkness the trip picked up after about 30-40 min with visuals and then there was a sensation that there is something wrong.:shock:
That something is different and i know why, since i took more than ever before but my ego was trying to control the trip and i was batteling my self for control over my mind and i was at one point really scared that perhaps i took to much because it felt like i was dying.
After a while i couldnt take it anymore so i screamed at my self to get a grip to relax to let go...what happens happens i chose this. As soon as i did this my mind became quiet and a mechanical:surprised filing and bright white light flashes began. I felt like i was traveling thru my body up my spine in a spiral way. Thru each chakra. I can't tell how long this lasted but it felt like etrnty. I remember saying to someone or to myself that i cant take it anymore because i was traveling with such incredible speed and light that was present was so bright that i really believed that this is it that i was about to die.
But something happened. I FELT my THIRD EYE.:shock: I could pinpoint it where it is in my brain. I felt it. So distinkt feeling that something is opening or poping open and it was acompanied with high pitch sound......then all i can remember is relising what felt like dying last breath and i was exiting my body thru the top of my head in a spiral.
After this i don't remember how much time had passed before i opend my eyes and i was in SPACE.:shock: Sorunded by space and stars and felling that my body was this what we call space. My body was creating it and then realization that I AM ALL ALONE. That there is no one. NO ONE really exists. I was overwelmed by saddnes and i can't remember how long it lasted. It felt like eternty, but then slowly other felling became more and more prevalent. Everything was,is and will be ok and i was peaceful beyond enything that i as in human form have expirienced so far in this life. I WAS EVERYTHING AND I WAS LOVE.
I remember hearing my own voice saying YOU ARE YOUR OWN CREATOR. It was profund.
What all of this has brought to me is realization that we are ALL ONE. That I should be kind to others and my self even more then i ever was before. It chenged me. I think differently and i'm obssesd with going deeper even thou i struglle with parts of my self (ego) that still trys to convince me that this is not real, that some things do or don't matter etc. To think that i thought life was boring and in a way pointles. I am a big sci-fi fan but this is on another level. This was real. So far NOTHING in my life can compare to this expirience. I hope in not far future i can get some dmt since i really want to go deeper. I wanna interact and ask questions about this and that reality/realm.
Thanks for reading and i will be posting other inner journey reports.
.I'm 29 years old and thru my childhood i was feeling wierd all the time like i was different in some kind of way. I was born in religious famly but not hardcore one all though i did go to church and i was babtised and all that goes with it. But never could relate to all that was told to me about god, religion, life etc. I was really confused for a long time until i came to conclusion that i must listen my own inner voice that told me that this is not me, that i have to find wtf is going on for my self. What is the point of me being here? What is all this? Who or what am i? What is life and death?What or who is GOD?
All that has happened so far was exactly a path that i have excepted for my self even thou i didnt have this understanding at times.
Until all brought me to mushrooms. And that first expirience that opened door to most intimate inner universe. The last 2 years have been crazy but in a positive way. Never in my wildest dreams would i think that i would be imbarking on this insanlly strange and beautiful path. Going down the rabbit hole...
One of most recent and mind bending expiriences that i had (on shrooms) happened 2-3 months ago. I had all kind of rializations prior to this but this was on another level. I was listening to Terance Mckenna and Bill Hicks and that you should take higher doses when taking shrooms if you wanna go deeper since psilocybin is close cousin to dimethyltryptamine but not so potent in smaller doses. So i did. Instead taking 2-3 grams that i usually took i took 5-6 grams (my estimation since i don't have a scale) ....what happened i can only describe as realization that I AM MY OWN CREATOR.
The onset of the trip was like anyother before with tingling around my eyes and rush of andrenaline and anticipation. I usually have little ceremony in a way. I dont eat couple of hour prior and i try to quiet my mind, fear and racionalizations and give some objectives to my trip even thou it usually takes me where i really wanna be/learn.
I was on my bed in darkness the trip picked up after about 30-40 min with visuals and then there was a sensation that there is something wrong.:shock:
That something is different and i know why, since i took more than ever before but my ego was trying to control the trip and i was batteling my self for control over my mind and i was at one point really scared that perhaps i took to much because it felt like i was dying.
After a while i couldnt take it anymore so i screamed at my self to get a grip to relax to let go...what happens happens i chose this. As soon as i did this my mind became quiet and a mechanical:surprised filing and bright white light flashes began. I felt like i was traveling thru my body up my spine in a spiral way. Thru each chakra. I can't tell how long this lasted but it felt like etrnty. I remember saying to someone or to myself that i cant take it anymore because i was traveling with such incredible speed and light that was present was so bright that i really believed that this is it that i was about to die.
But something happened. I FELT my THIRD EYE.:shock: I could pinpoint it where it is in my brain. I felt it. So distinkt feeling that something is opening or poping open and it was acompanied with high pitch sound......then all i can remember is relising what felt like dying last breath and i was exiting my body thru the top of my head in a spiral.
After this i don't remember how much time had passed before i opend my eyes and i was in SPACE.:shock: Sorunded by space and stars and felling that my body was this what we call space. My body was creating it and then realization that I AM ALL ALONE. That there is no one. NO ONE really exists. I was overwelmed by saddnes and i can't remember how long it lasted. It felt like eternty, but then slowly other felling became more and more prevalent. Everything was,is and will be ok and i was peaceful beyond enything that i as in human form have expirienced so far in this life. I WAS EVERYTHING AND I WAS LOVE.
I remember hearing my own voice saying YOU ARE YOUR OWN CREATOR. It was profund.
What all of this has brought to me is realization that we are ALL ONE. That I should be kind to others and my self even more then i ever was before. It chenged me. I think differently and i'm obssesd with going deeper even thou i struglle with parts of my self (ego) that still trys to convince me that this is not real, that some things do or don't matter etc. To think that i thought life was boring and in a way pointles. I am a big sci-fi fan but this is on another level. This was real. So far NOTHING in my life can compare to this expirience. I hope in not far future i can get some dmt since i really want to go deeper. I wanna interact and ask questions about this and that reality/realm.
Thanks for reading and i will be posting other inner journey reports.
