My intention is ongoing. I am still having problems with anger and existential concerns. I need to work on these things even though I live with someone who keeps causing a tsunami of stressors.
150 mgs fb harmalas with lemon juice and water.
11 mgs fb DMT
Gentle alert on the harmalas after 40 mins. Feeling a bit intoxicated and shaky. Few mins later feeling warm and a bit tripped out.
Decided to try the DMT 30 mins after the alert. Cannot say I am experiencing much fear or anxiety. There is a kind of distance offered by the MAOI state.
I worked on quieting my mind with a blindfold and had CEVs of a feminine hand with a rotating silver ball above the palm side up. Her long fingers were moving to keep the sphere balanced and spinning in time to the music.
Soon after I vaped the 11 mgs. For once the first hit was the biggest and I held it for at least 18 seconds, probably more.
Back after 16 mins. Might have stayed longer except for a feline intervention.
Really hard to remember and impossible to accurately describe metallicized strips of texture that were rainbow and glowing with electric radiance, constantly changing.
Amid these textures were these reaching, feminine hands.
The comeup was difficult. My intentions were jettisoned at light speed.
I felt like I was dying AND watching my mind split into EVERY possibility. Every moment, split into a cube and the cubes split into others. On the surface “screens” of these cubes were scenarios from my life. Every hard decsion caused another bunch of cubes to form. Like what if I were to stop trying to surrender and just rip the blindfold off and freakout. . .
There were many of the spinning marquis. Many of them had English language letters, but no words to read.
I felt like was experiencing an extended slow death.
My memories aren’t great but I do recall attempting to sharply focus on one of these marquis to see if I could read anything and as my vision/perspective got closer I quickly became increasingly astonished to realize that on these strips of living material were whole miniature cities! Tall buildings, public transit and lots of entities.
As I approached and started noticing the buildings, vehicles and people the whole thing kind of looked like Larry Niven’s Ringworld but as I got closer and closer, everything got larger and I lost the sense of thing on a curving strip of material and was just IN the micro city.
Still in the micro world of the marquis I travelled briefly on an odd kind of coach. I saw no leading animals. The coach was white with a lot of yellow panelling, everything was lit internally and changing, moving with the music. The coach had large, white, spoked, bejeweled wheels and bumped along doing the whole hyperspatial party thing.
I realized that if this is another dimension or just an intoxicated brain state, that the DMT effects were happening at all levels of size.
The coach arrived and I ascended with a “family?” of entities into their 2nd storey apartment. Yet my perspective simultaneously remained outside of the building.
Parked outside the apartment, apparently not subject to the laws of gravity, was a little spaceship. This spaceship was kind of like an egg shape but the ends, rather than rounded, came to tight little points.
On the top center of the egg-shaped ship was an opening and I watched the “son” entity get in and the ship started to move towards me, bobbing along as if on a tempest sea. By the time it had halved our distance the entire front of it turned into weird, staring eyes.
As it got closer it began to move backwards in time. It was bobbing along and all kinds of stuff was flying off of it in all different directions. It would shed a layer, then look like it was from the past, then show it's new form and start having stuff flying off until it shed another layer and looked like it was from deeper in the past. By the time it reached me it looked like it belonged in the 17th Century.
Eventually I reassended to the normal sized realm and my visions started becoming a lot less clear. A giant vortex, with lots of mouths coming out of it. Tunnels and doors.
What really broke things up for me was my cat, Nefer, jumping onto the bed, climbing up me and sitting on my chest, kneading biscuits. When I took the blindfold off she looked totally tripped out.
150 mgs fb harmalas with lemon juice and water.
11 mgs fb DMT
Gentle alert on the harmalas after 40 mins. Feeling a bit intoxicated and shaky. Few mins later feeling warm and a bit tripped out.
Decided to try the DMT 30 mins after the alert. Cannot say I am experiencing much fear or anxiety. There is a kind of distance offered by the MAOI state.
I worked on quieting my mind with a blindfold and had CEVs of a feminine hand with a rotating silver ball above the palm side up. Her long fingers were moving to keep the sphere balanced and spinning in time to the music.
Soon after I vaped the 11 mgs. For once the first hit was the biggest and I held it for at least 18 seconds, probably more.
Back after 16 mins. Might have stayed longer except for a feline intervention.
Really hard to remember and impossible to accurately describe metallicized strips of texture that were rainbow and glowing with electric radiance, constantly changing.
Amid these textures were these reaching, feminine hands.
The comeup was difficult. My intentions were jettisoned at light speed.
I felt like I was dying AND watching my mind split into EVERY possibility. Every moment, split into a cube and the cubes split into others. On the surface “screens” of these cubes were scenarios from my life. Every hard decsion caused another bunch of cubes to form. Like what if I were to stop trying to surrender and just rip the blindfold off and freakout. . .
There were many of the spinning marquis. Many of them had English language letters, but no words to read.
I felt like was experiencing an extended slow death.
My memories aren’t great but I do recall attempting to sharply focus on one of these marquis to see if I could read anything and as my vision/perspective got closer I quickly became increasingly astonished to realize that on these strips of living material were whole miniature cities! Tall buildings, public transit and lots of entities.
As I approached and started noticing the buildings, vehicles and people the whole thing kind of looked like Larry Niven’s Ringworld but as I got closer and closer, everything got larger and I lost the sense of thing on a curving strip of material and was just IN the micro city.
Still in the micro world of the marquis I travelled briefly on an odd kind of coach. I saw no leading animals. The coach was white with a lot of yellow panelling, everything was lit internally and changing, moving with the music. The coach had large, white, spoked, bejeweled wheels and bumped along doing the whole hyperspatial party thing.
I realized that if this is another dimension or just an intoxicated brain state, that the DMT effects were happening at all levels of size.
The coach arrived and I ascended with a “family?” of entities into their 2nd storey apartment. Yet my perspective simultaneously remained outside of the building.
Parked outside the apartment, apparently not subject to the laws of gravity, was a little spaceship. This spaceship was kind of like an egg shape but the ends, rather than rounded, came to tight little points.
On the top center of the egg-shaped ship was an opening and I watched the “son” entity get in and the ship started to move towards me, bobbing along as if on a tempest sea. By the time it had halved our distance the entire front of it turned into weird, staring eyes.
As it got closer it began to move backwards in time. It was bobbing along and all kinds of stuff was flying off of it in all different directions. It would shed a layer, then look like it was from the past, then show it's new form and start having stuff flying off until it shed another layer and looked like it was from deeper in the past. By the time it reached me it looked like it belonged in the 17th Century.
Eventually I reassended to the normal sized realm and my visions started becoming a lot less clear. A giant vortex, with lots of mouths coming out of it. Tunnels and doors.
What really broke things up for me was my cat, Nefer, jumping onto the bed, climbing up me and sitting on my chest, kneading biscuits. When I took the blindfold off she looked totally tripped out.
