Man, Shoe, thank you so much for this constructive, and very helpful post!
I have to say, i have never ever had this kind of bad trip before, my last bad trip was over a year ago, then i thought, no, i knew i figured it allout, reality was an illusion, nothing is real, it's all in my mind, my girlfriend, every singel invention made, nature, good, evil, every single thing/emotion in the world was created by my own mind, nothing would be normal again after this "realization", i was not actually afraid then, but kinda paralized, but this, this was a mindfuck on a whole new level.
I had to fight through this all alone, cause i walked/ran away from all humans i saw, they where all so evil to the bone, out to kill me.
You know, i actually experienced how it would
really feel like when you know 100 percent for sure that you are about to die, i knew it 100 percent sure, i was just that convinced, i was shaking all over my body, it was cold too, but this was from sheer terror and deep fear.
All the sweet PLUR party people there where suddenly not what they seemed anymore, they where the most vicious evil i had ever encountered, wolves in sheeps clothes so to speak.
At one point i just sat down, waithing for the knife, i heard footsteps coming my way, i felt warm blood gushing from my face, i felt nothing, but at that time i was completely calm again, i surrendered, but it didn't came, so i panicked again, and the terror came back at a high tempo, hunting me down again.
Now, luckily it won't take me 6 months to recover from it, strangely enough i'm feeling better already, yesterday i was convinced that i'd get severly depressed after this experience, i wouldn't be the same ever again, my identity was shredded to little pieces and replaced by that of a small scared child, but i just went to work today, i heard the guy i went to the party with on the phone, and i do realize that it was'nt real, but i am VERY confused now, reality was gone, replaced by a new one, just as real, but evil to the very core, i now actually know how it feels like to be aware of the fact that it's your last minute on earth, alive, that it's gonna end, tragically, murdered.
But i know that it was'nt real, even if it
felt real, it wasn't, that realization is gold for me, without that, i'd be depressed, now i'm just tired, puzzled and dazed, but happy to be alive, and "normal" again.
Thank you SO much for your post, they say LSD is like temporary psychosis, i never saw it that way, untill saterday night, now i don't see it as a spiritual guide anymore, i see it as a gate to hell, i had many good times on LSD before, but now i don't trust it anymore, i'm done with it, maybe for good, i'm still gonna use mushrooms, they never mindfucked in such a cruel way before, i guess acid teached me a lesson, (show respect, or get your ass kicked!) the setting was careless, and now i know why it shouldn't have been like that.
I still love psychedelics, but acid screwed me big time, i feel betrayed.
I thought i could handle a bad trip, but it looks like i never had a real bad trip in my life before, i had "bad" trips, but this was on a higher level, it could've killed me, you know, i never felt closer to death before in my life!
And there are actually people alive that are stuck in such a bad trip for the rest of their lives, poor people, i'd kill myself if i had to be like that forever.
shoe said:
Anything is possible with willpower.
This is so true!
Willpower is a very powerful tool!