To each his own. Don't take all this stuff too personal.
Net interactions only go so far, and no one can truly know what you are going through.
I always try not to offend anyone here, but share my experience and perspective.
Take it if you find it useful or just let it be 
Back in the days of ayahuasca forums, there were many accounts of people seeking help after a horrendous ordeal.
Many of them were mentally ill and just tried to solve it with more psychedelics and heavier doses. It never ends well this way.
Coming from this plus my own struggles, I'm always skeptical when people try to fix their state with more of anything.
Healing is not about a substance, but about your intent, respect and commitment.
Again, I don't know your particular situation, but please take it easy. You'll be glad you did in a long run.
Peace 