Well hello... me....

[guildnav]

I finally acquired spice, actually went overboard as my first attempt ended in a scam I made two more attempts and both were successful. I now have both some powdery yellow and crystal white spice to work with and enough to not worry at all about waste in experimentation. My .001g scale is disturbingly inaccurate. It won't even register below about .009 and I can tell that when it does it's at least +/- .005 in error. So much for gradual, reproducible, experimentation.

Psychedelics have always intimidated me and this more than any before. I started with about .008 of the yellow. I melted this into a ceramic flavor disc and placed it in the gvg. I took one smallish pull. The rush started, the geometric patterns came into view to a small degree. Lines in objects in the room blurred. Nothing crazy. I took the remainder of the dose when the first had almost worn off, even less results than before. This was a "getting to know you" procedure. It was fine but I left it alone until the next day.

Next evening .010 of the yellow. I tried to get this all in one dose and took the remainder soon after the first pull. This produced a much more intense rush and far more pronounced visual effects. I began to see face like patterns form from the objects in the room. The moving, colorful geometries were far more pronounced. I'm still building confidence at this point and not looking for a real breakthrough. It was intense but fine.

I should pause at this point to mention my psychological state during this time. I was very unhappy. I had been excluded from a Christmas trip that meant a lot to me. I was spending Christmas alone. This was Christmas eve. I spent the day fuming and angry at the individual who made this choice for me. I knew I was in no shape for a real consciousness exploration and that I might be inviting a negative experience if I did. I was working through a lot that day and was in a better but still unhappy place by evening.

In the evening I measured .015mg of the pure white crystals (first time with these) and melted it onto a ceramic disc. I figured at this point I would be borderline at the breakthrough level. I was hoping to get close but not really fully committing. I set the loaded GVG aside for hours. At some point later in the evening I decided to go for it. It was an impulse of sorts.

I took the first hit thinking that I would just take the one but as I inhaled I made the decision to go for the second. As I held the first in the rush began and I worried I wouldn't be able to manage the second. I exhaled and started the second pull.... and as I set the GVG down it was shimmering in color as my vision exploded.

I heard the ringing in my ears and tried to keep my self together as it built. I was seeing intense visual patterns with my eyes closed. When they would get too intense I would open my eyes, trying to throw off or "reset" the intensity. Eyes open I was seeing faces in patterns all over my room. Was this my brain's natural propensity for facial pattern matching? Was this a representation of the consciousness of everyday objects? Whatever they were they seemed happy and content. I alternated eyes open to eyes shut for a few more seconds trying to handle the information coming in.....

What happened next... well it's personal but in the interest of sharing I'm going to be open about it.

I felt myself become aware of a being in a different world. I can tell, now, that this world contained more dimensions than the 3 that we normally experience. Things didn't stack together well "visually". I spent some time years ago learning about and trying to understand what a 2D or 4D reality might be like or what it would be like for a 4D being to interact with our 3D space. This, in my interpretation, was my 3D oriented consciousness trying to perceive a space in 4D+.

Something moved towards me. It seemed to be moving along/within the walls or pillars in this space. I had a vague sense of being in a garden of sorts but nothing was in focus. Then the face appeared and looked at me. I saw him. It looked like me in "elf" form. I had a moment of recognition, this is me. I believe it was me or some multidimensional aspect of my whole self. My strong intent in exploring spice had been to meet my "inner ego" and I think this was it.

It had a sense of being a powerful but imperfect being. It had an androgynous somewhat mixed gender type of features. It had a mischievous grin and frankly a slight sense of malevolence. I now see this as being a reflection of my own malevolent psychological state that day. It got closer and sort of locked onto me, face to face, I felt that telepathic communication kick in.

That mental bond was intense. It was serious. It said "this is not a joke and I am not kidding" without words. It was a touch disappointed and stern. I received the message:

YOU CAN DO BETTER. The intensity of that thought held for what felt like a minute or two. I was drawn deeply into this communication and held there.

I understood that it immediately applied to my handling of my recent disappointment. I knew I had a responsibility to myself to be more constructive and positive in the way I was handling my recent life events. This wasn't really news but it sharply laid the responsibility at my own feet and brought it into focus. There are other layered interpretations of this message as well, but for me but this was at it's core.

Just as I was taking this in I felt it all start to slip away. I actually felt myself try to stay there but of course I was pulled back into my default reality and the quick DMT psychedelic comedown.

Now I should add that none of this experience was really scary. I was not left with any sense of fear. What it did do was somehow dissipate or drop the negative emotions I had been swimming in for the past few days. So far I'm in a better place with that stuff.

The next (last) night I took a small .010 dose just to keep up practice and keep dissipating the fear of taking DMT. That anxiety is still holding me back. I'm still rather afraid of these experiences despite having one that was essentially fine and not frightening in itself. I could use some advice on this if anyone has any. I'm still very nervous and would really like to set the nerves aside and be able to experiment and explore freely.

I'm currently working through the easy caapi extract procedure and hoping to make changa and try pharmacauya. At least I'd like to figure out bring caapi into my DMT vaporizing procedure.

Thanks for reading=)

--Guildnav

 

[Entheogenerator]

Wow! Entity contact on a mere 15 mg! In my experience, sometimes people will take a high dose and have very little effect, and other times people can take a small dose and experience profound effects, vastly exceeding what they expected from a small dose. This happens to me frequently, it is very interesting! It almost fuels the notion that there is some sort of "DMT spirit" or something, which determines to what extent your visions will present themselves.

Everyone experiences some pre-flight anxiety, at least at some point. It is a natural human instinct to fear the unknown. I have found that deep meditation for 10 minutes or so right before my journeys really takes the edge off the anxiety. You could also try different calming herbs, but some people have found certain herbs will dull the experience.

Changa might be a good route to go. It can basically stretch the experience out, allowing a slower onset and a more gradual landing. I know that using changa has helped many people on The Nexus get around some of the anxiety that often occurs prior to the DMT experience. You could also preload with oral or sublingual harmala alkaloids for a similar effect.

Great experience report!

 

[sleepypelican]

very cool report. glad to read somone elses post whose been working up to the breakthrough point, as i have yet to reach it in my two journeys.

your mixed gender comment caught my eye due to the fact that many groups of thought through out history have viewed the idea of a perfect being to encompass both male and female aspects. Maybe this was you encountering yourself further down your path of spiritual enlightenment? or at least your concept of yourself further down the path of your spiritual enlightenment?

after my two experiences so far i have noticed dramatic anti depressant like properties in the after effects of smoked DMT that last for hours after reaching baseline. I noticed that you experienced the same after coming down

 

[guildnav]

I can't really say how much I took with any certainty. My scale read .015g but it doesn't register anything until it hits about .007 and I suspect it is inaccurate by +/- .005 at least. I'd really like to get a better quality scale that I can trust to be accurate. So the dose I took could have easily been .020g+. I remember piling it on the ceramic disc and thinking gee this seems like a lot more than last time....

In my own beliefs we form our reality according to our beliefs and expectations. I had a really intense desire to experience something, just ANYTHING that would provide an example of my consciousness being in another place or tuned into another plane or reality. I believe that was a factor in this contact happening at a relatively lower dose. As the intensity reached it peak I remember telling myself "I'm OK to go". I had been thinking a lot about the idea of an inner ego working outside of our acknowledged reality to help shape probable events in life. My life has been pretty amazing and I wanted, in a sense, to say think you to this other part of myself. That other part had a message to deliver though and I now realize that we are both developing together, neither is perfect, and we are still working on things. I got a sense of the symbiotic relationship here and now feel a sense of responsibility to provide that inner self the best psychological environment I can with the hope that it will in turn provide opportunities for more amazing experiences.

The mixed gender thing is something I have been struggling with in my own personal life. I'm a boy and straight in terms of sexual orientation but I've always had some feminine qualities that I have been very uncomfortable acknowledging. I was also very uncomfortable with the androgynous nature of this entity after realizing it was a form of myself. It forced me to face it in an instant. I'm now finally working on accepting what and who I am in those respects. I believe the whole self is essentially genderless and we live many lives in alternating genders.

Those anti depressant effects did wear off after a couple of days but that problem never came back with the same intensity.

I hope to focus more on the after death environment in future explorations. I'd like to bring some joy into the next experience if possible. Next time I'll likely combine the harmaline I've extracted from the CAAPI and vape both in the GVG together. From there I'll likely start with small dose pharmacauya. I can already tell that I'm going to need more time (heh "time") in hyperspace to explore than the smoking route will provide.

 

[AgentClaret]

That's pretty cool for your first couple times! And I like your attitude about it... you're seeing the same things I do (what's with being out of our minds and still assigning genders to things?!?) but not ready to shave your head and change your name and stuff.

If you feel letting go is a problem I suggest a little changa. I'm not too experienced with it yet and have always had either that or crystal and not both. Changa's relatively easy to make (if you've already extract Caapi) and I think used before crystal it would make it easier to really get going.

Stick around and let us know how it goes!